I was out the other night, having a twilight blast with Hooligan and Glenn. It had rained and conditions were pretty bloody good, albeit a little slippery in spots.

Andrew led us out on a loop in search of his fuel cap, which he had somehow managed to lose when out riding earlier with Ryan.

Good fuel caps, those quick release KTM units. Not.

Anyhow, I’m at the back of the pack and following the high speed train up this fairly snotty, random rock infested old track amongst some five year old pine trees, with just enough grassy undergrowth to create rock - vision issues.

I didn’t see Hooligan’s effort, but I did see second in line Glenn’s arse a couple of feet above the seat of his KTM, looking like he was going to go over the bars, just after he had slammed into/through a small pine tree that had been just minding it’s own business.

I stopped to laugh at Glenn, who had stopped and rushed off his bike to check on Hooligan, who was still sitting on his bike, but stationary and obviously with some issues.

He’d been winded badly and had the whole ‘Can’t breathe, am I dying?’ look in his eyes.

A quick examination showed an abrasion on some ribs, which we all reckoned were probably broken. He was in too much pain to even get off the bike.

I whipped out the epirb, but then realised I’d have mobile reception on top of the hill and close to town like we were, so rang 000.

We wrapped Mr Going Into Shock in my space blanket and shoved a couple of panadeine forte down his gob.

He wanted to close his eyes, which is a bad sign, so to counter I gave him a strepsil. My plan was that the taste and need to keep active sucking it might keep him awake. It worked a treat!

I rode out to Stanley to meet the Ambos and guide them back in, as the track we were on wasn’t on any map and could be hard to find without local knowledge.

When we got back, Andrew had livened up a bit and managed to walk the 150 metres or so out of the gnarly track to the closest main track. He and Glenn reckons it was the Strepsils. For future reference, they were a purple colour/flavour!

The Ambos stripped him bare to check out his injuries.

Doesn’t look much, bet under that bruisy thing lurked 3 ’smashed’ (Ed: Doctor’s terms) ribs and a re - broken collarbone.

We located the stick and it was a fairly robust (Ed: 1.5 inches?) and sharp unit that he’d seemingly broken off the tree when he smashed into it.

The Doc reckons that if he hadn’t been wearing quality armour, that nasty stick might have punctured his lung and perhaps heart.

They gave him some drugs.

Here’s a shot of the tree he hit. It’s a bit dark and hard to make out, made worse by the fact that it’s no longer upright!

While we’re here, this is a good example of fairly ordinary photography. The operator has not been paying attention to what is in focus. Note how the auto focus has selected the tree close by on the left? That would have shown up on the view finder and the operator should have re - focussed to make our deceased tree the subject.

Since it’s dark, the camera has auto selected a large aperture, which has a short field of vision, so not much other than what the auto focus has locked onto is actually in focus. I didn’t take the photo.

The police turned up to investigate.

Of course, I was obliged to take advantage of a prone and feeble Hooligan.

He got me back though, managing to flick me the bird as he was being slid into the ambulance.

He made the trip to hospital where they initially diagnosed bruising and he went home. He woke up feeling broken and went back, to be told there were broken bones. How do they do that sometimes?

Anyway, he’ll be okay with some R & R, which is good news. This yet again shows the value in never riding alone and ensuring you’ve got some communications with you.

If we’d been only a short distance away, we’d have had no mobile reception and the epirb would have been the saviour.

Having the third rider is a bonus, as someone can stay with the injured bloke whilst one goes for help, or does whatever.

What if someone is bleeding and in need of someone to plug the hole to stop the flow? Two ain’t enough then, as you can’t stop the flow of blood and ride for help at the same time.

From Wayno…..

Hey Rocket,

For Sale crf 450x 2006
Meticuously maintained,Just serviced.
Performance pipe,quick shot.
Teknik suspension,Titanium bar risers.
New barkbusters,grips and much more.
Top end rebuild.

(Ed: four new valves fitted by Honda Australia)

Many spares inc tyres.

Rec Reg.

$6900.
Contact Wayno.
Wayne.richards@au.nestle.com
0424 509 021
0260 33 4141

(Ed: Discerning buyers note - this is a genuine bike in good nick. I’ve ridden it. ‘Goes Hard’. Wayno is an engineer and has looked after it very well. Knows his shit and the bike is well set up.)

I’m sure that some new technologies are designed primarily to shit me. The number of remote controls that are scattered around my living room are but one example of technology I can do without, or at least would be best simplified. Which one works which device and what are all those buttons for?

It’s not all bad though. I’ve been running some new technology for a couple of years now that is both refreshingly simple to use and of immense practical value. Life saving, actually. An Emergency Position Indicating Radio Beacon is just what it’s name suggests, a little electronic device that lets the authorities know where you are when you’ve got an emergency and need saving.

They should only be used for genuine emergencies such as a serious medical problem requiring an ambulance or ‘I’m lost in the Outback, don’t have enough food or water, if nobody comes to help soon I might die’. If you’re in that picture, then it’s time to crack open your EPIRB, or PLB (personal locating beacon) as they are also known.

Simple instructions complete with dirt bike rider proof pictures on the back of the unit show you how to set it off, which is as simple as putting the aerial up. The beacon will start to send out a strong radio signal that will be picked up by a satellite.

Passing jets and the like also pick up and relay the signal if they receive it, which is common.

The Rescue Control Centre in Canberra are linked in and immediately able to identify exactly who and where you are. See, the new digital beacons can be registered in your name and they’ll even have emergency contact details for you. The unit has sent GPS coordinates out with the signal and they know where you are to within a few metres. If they don’t establish it’s a false alarm immediately (such as by talking to you on the phone) then they start sending the heroes your way, perhaps by vehicle, helicopter or aeroplane, depending on the circumstances.

The older type of EPIRBs transmitted on a frequency of 121.5 MHZ. That gives the rescuers your approximate location, to within a 5 km radius. After that, they have to ‘home in’ on your exact location using a jigger that beeps louder the closer they get.

The advantage of the new digital ones that transmit on 406 MHZ as well is that they are like a mobile phone, in that they are recorded in your name, so they know who they’re looking for. They also transmit on 121.5 MHZ and unless they have the GPS function, also rely on the ‘home in within a 5 km radius’ thing.

The advantage of the units with GPS is that they can come straight to you, none of this ‘within a 5 km radius’ bullshit. The GPS feature alone could save your life or that of a mates.

So, in my mind, the digital ones aren’t that much better than the older 121 meg style units, unless they have the GPS facility. If they have, then they’re miles better.

GME make the new digital PLB without the GPS function, which is $150 cheaper. Imagine though, if you were on some remote single trail, not on the map. The searchers could flog about for ages trying to find you within a 5 km radius. I’d spend the extra dough on the GPS function all day to increase our chances of a successful rescue.

Prompt, professional medical assistance to an injured person is often the difference between life and death. An EPIRB can make that difference and a GPS equipped one even more so.

The unit works anywhere in the world. There is no better, faster or safer method to summons help in an emergency. Whilst Satellite phones are good and have their place, they don’t get reception everywhere and are far more costly to purchase and run. UHF radios have limited range and are line of sight only. Mobile phone’s have generally limited or no coverage in the bush.

EPIRB’s cost nothing to run above the initial purchase price, excepting battery replacement if you set it off. This involves sending it back to the manufacturer, who replace the battery and re – test the unit, at reasonable cost. About $150 is the expected price with GME, they haven’t set one yet as the units are new and mine was the first to have a new set of batteries fitted. The battery itself is a trick Lithium – Manganese – Oxide unit, with a 7 year guaranteed life span.

There are apparently three companies in the world making these new type of PLBs. GME, ACR and McMurdo are their names, from Australia, England and the USA.

This Australian made unit has a few real advantages over the units offered by all other manufacturers. It is at least $300 cheaper, has a 2 year longer battery life and a bright LED strobe light to help guide rescuers to your position at night. It’s awesome to see an Aussie company producing world’s best gear locally at a competitive price.

I now consider mine to be an essential piece of kit that lives in my Camelbak and comes with me on every single ride. I still take my mobile phone and uhf radio, but the EPIRB is where the buck stops when the shit hits the fan.

I set it off with great success on a tour last year to help an injured customer and the ambulance was there in no time. I sent one of the sweep riders to the top of a nearby hill with my mobile phone to try to get some reception (had none at the scene) and when he arrived, the Rescue Control Centre rang him on my phone to offer their help! It was awesome to know that help was so easy to summons.

For more on this rescue bash ‘epirb goes off for stick man’ into the search bar.

An EPIRB is a sensible tool for all trail riders and adventure riders. It wouldn’t be out of place in your car glove box when you weren’t riding either.

Fast facts:

Cost: $649 (GPS model)
Battery life: 7 years
7 year warranty
Emits emergency signal for at least 24 hours
It’s waterproof and floats
A little larger than a pack of smokes – the smallest and lightest on the market
Weight: about 275 grams
Made in Australia!

More info visit www.gme.net.au

Bias Factor: Yep, we’re sponsored by Standard Communications who make GME stuff. That said, their products have an awesome reputation. This unit is made in Australia and seems to have better features than any other unit available in the world.

The article I wrote about the Hastings Blue Light Motorycle Club has resulted in the arrest of some burglars! No shit.

Here’s some feedback I got from one of our gang.

G’day Rod,

Thanks for that, I’ll buy you a couple of beers next time I ride with you, that advanced tour to coast? Sounds good, maybe then. (Ed: this was another matter, not connected to the headline) (Bob: Hmmmm, beeeeer)

Coming home from Melbourne on Sunday arvo, up the Hume near Locksley, we were passed by 2 P platers, both cars full, doing 120 or 130km/hr, the second car had a passenger who sprayed our car with a beer can as he pulled in front of us.

After reading your story re speeding car on way back from training day, it motivated us to call 000 and told Benalla Police of what we saw heading their way.

Anyway as we were coming in to Benalla passed by a speeding police car, got a phone call 1/2 hr later from police thanking us as it turned out the 2 cars in question had jumped off the Hume into Violet Town, performed a Burglary and because the police were already looking for 2 cars with description we gave them, located them, they resisted arrest, hence speeding police we passed. They got them and have a long list of charges against them!

Thought you might like that as it was your story that prompted us to phone ahead.

Cheers

(Ed: name supplied, but withheld to protect the innocent. Story posted with permission)

Ed: Stirling effort. I have little time for hoons or burglars. It could have been your house or mine that these crooks were violating.

This information came in today from Gary.

Gidday Rod

Was just reading your way of cleaning fork seals. I have done the same many time the same way you have said but if they are weeping you can also use a piece of old photo film and slide it up under the main seal and pulling it out as you go around.

You may have to do this a few times to get all the way around. As you pull it out the dust gets caught in the little squares on the side of the film. It has worked for me many times but not all , but no harm trying if it gives more time ride time than fix time.

Ed: To me, the film idea sounds good. The whole ‘dust get’s caught in the little squares’ makes some sense. The only downside I can perhaps see is - who’s got some ‘film’ lying around? I can’t imagine a memory card being suitable!

Pip the resident Honda guru put me onto a tip for filter cleaning, which is a ripper.

He recommended I use a cake rack in the bottom of my kero tub, so that each time I wash a filter, the dirt falls below the rack. Every time a filter is placed in the kero, it is kept clear of all the crap on the bottom of the bucket.

I couldn’t find a ready made round rack the right size at Vinny’s, so I had to purchase two. One was rectangular and the other round. The rectangular one was bent so that it had ‘legs’ and the round one, which came without legs, was cable tied to the first one. Factory!

It works a treat and my kero is now cleaner, for longer, which helps my motor stay newer, for longer. All good so far.

I guessed the height off the bottom of the bucket at around 2 cm, which seems to work okay. Less would be too little I reckon. A little more would probably be okay, just requiring more kero.

Cost was exorbitant at Vinny’s, 50 cents a piece. I tried to bargain with the old bitties but they were fierce. A buck it was, or piss off sonny.

The bucket came full of laundry detergent, which after much dirt bike riding, of course became empty. I have two, one for kero and the other for hot soapy water for stage two of the process, after the initial kero wash.

The buckets come with well fitting lids that keep the kero safe and spill - less. I only use the one lid, on the kero one and store the kero bucket inside the lid - less water bucket, to take up less room.

I just make sure I clean out the water bucket of course before using it each time.

Go acquire one for yourself and make it happen. I don’t recommend searching through your partners cooking gear to source your version.

This thing has done stuff all. About 12 hours all up I reckon. Finke, Hattah and a couple of coaching days sums it up.

It was of course fitted out with blue and white police graphics, so the stock plastics are brand new.

At Finke, it only did 2 hrs 37 minutes at race pace, the trip home was a wobble at 1/4 throttle with a busted hand. Hattah was the only real work out.

It has one minor blemish, a small ‘woof’ (Ed: ‘Don Speak’) on the RHS of the swing arm, from when I layed it down on the way home from Finke, unable to hold on when I hit a bump the size of a malnourished pea. Hardly an issue.

Of course, it’s been treated like all of my bikes, plenty of oil changes and air filters, every ride.

O ring chain, HD tubes, tyres have done one short ride. Full spares kit.

$7300 is stupidly cheap for a bike like this, especially since all similar bikes in the trading post are 8 grand at least and prices may even go up soon.

I really want an ‘09 and have to unload this, so if you’re into wheelies and skids with bulk power and razor sharp handling, come and snap her up.

Oh yeah, the suspension was re - valved by team Honda guru Pip Harrison, works a treat.

I am not an expert regarding the economy, however I have been talking to many blokes in key positions in the industry and it’s plain that the cost of bikes is going to go up significantly.

Especially anything made in Japan.

The Aussie dollar is the problem, with it falling in value against the Yank dollar by around 35% in recent times. We’re doing even worse against the yen.

So anything the importers purchase from overseas will be dearer by the corresponding amount.

Anything already on the floor was bought at old prices and should not go up much, if at all, but new stuff will be way dearer.

Expect to pay 15 or 16 grand for a 450 motocrosser mid next year.

24 grand for a Fireblade (Currently around 18 - 19).

All manufacturers will be affected, however the dollar is not performing so badly against the Euro I’m told so some brands may be spared a little.

If demand for bikes stays around, then the secondhand market will also be pushed up.

Accessory prices may also rise, depending on where they’re coming from.

Thank god petrol is cheaper at the moment.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=tZADAdsDzdg

I’ll do anything for some free promotion.

I’ve been going to the Hastings Blue Light motorcycle club’s annual Christmas coaching day for six or more years now. It’s a great club, formed to combat rising problems in the Hastings area with the illegal riding of motorbikes, mainly by kids.

They formed a club, got some land donated by BHP and run regular riding days (each weekend) for members.

They have two tracks, a full sized MX track and a smaller one for the littler kids. The joint rocks.

In what is widely seen as a full – on junket by those who know me, Vic Police pay me to drive down there each year to do wheelies and skids with the kids. Yee Haar.

We don’t just ride though, the main focus is coaching. This year, I had local young gun Joel Hall and his mate Dave to help me out. Another bloke, Trav, took the junior kids for the day and Joel and I split the older kids up into two manageable groups.

We’d get both groups together to demonstrate a skill, then split them back up to practice it.

I started on jumping, since the club had just put in some great new technical jumps, consisting of a low triple, followed by a generously sized tabletop.

It wasn’t possible for the kids (Ed: nor me) to clear all three triples and the last one was fairly close to the tabletop, so I got Joel to demonstrate a few different ways to tackle the new jumps.

Then we talked about some new small double jumps just after the tabletop. They were pissy, but even pissy doubles can mess with kids’ heads. So I got Ray to step them out and measure them. We worked out that they were the same length as some small tabletops that nearly all the kids were clearing real easy, so that helped to set their minds as rest. Within no time, heaps of them were able to clear the new double.

At lunchtime, Santa cruised in on a hotted up Yammy TT500 to hand out prizes to the lucky little buggers. I took down 100 or so showbags left over from the expo, which went down well. The best bit was that club members packed all the goodies into the showbags for me, leaving me to the wheelies and skids.

In the last session, we let them all just ride to put into practice all they had learnt. This is the wheelies and skids bit, where Joel and I put in a few laps. For the first two laps, Joel was around 100 metres behind me. I had my head down and arse up, not wanting to be beaten by the whippersnapper on the 250F. The lad can ride a bit and has done some national events.

I’m not 100% sure that Joel was fully committed, but every time I glanced back (Ed: clear breach of rule number one, never look back), Joel was fully sideways with the throttle pinned. With the gap remaining about the same, I started to get delusions of grandeur and actually thought I was a motocrosser again.

So I tried to up the pace and gap him, but that’s when reality struck. Just that tiny bit more effort saw me flogged out, with full tongue extension, within half a lap. Pump like popeye, mistakes every corner and the little bastard reeled in 30 metres. Next lap, another 30.

As he got close enough for it to become embarrassing, I snuck my silly old arse off the track, wobbled off to the pits, where I assumed the foetal position in the trailer and blew bubbles.

(Bob: You’re a silly old tosser, who was past it years ago. Listen to Cheryl more and accept old age has got you, motocross is for kids.)

At the end of the day, we had to drive all the way back to Yackandandah, which was fairly ordinary. Cheryl got to drive the police car most of the way up the Hume. It was fairly tiring, with all that driving and riding, but well worth it in my mind, with the kids coming away with plenty of positives.

Some peanut passed us doing 160 or so, (Ed: we were doing 110). He mustn’t have seen the police car, partly concealed by the trailer. He didn’t even slow down, just flew off into the distance. Traffic cops got him a bit up the road.

At Hastings, I met young Jed from Swan Reach, who paid the miserly sum of $7150 for the loaner 450X that Donny and Monty rode for a little while. Bargain. It’s gone, you missed out.

Whilst I fully accept Bob may be right and that MX success has past me, I still manage to ignore the awful truth and have entered the Australian Masters Games, which are holding a motocross event at Barrabool in February next year. At least the competition will be my age.

Leaking fork seals can give you the shits. I’ve seen some leaking on bikes just picked up from the dealer, new. Plenty of mine have started to weep after a year of service, just as I’m trying to sell the bike. I usually curse when this happens.

The leak is often on the brake side. This is because the brake puts extra pressure on the fork leg on that side when you’re stopping, kind of like twisting, which puts extra pressure on the seal on that side.

Much of this heartache can be prevented with a little simple maintenance. Don’t panic though, it’s surprisingly easy.

For starters, I reckon there’s three types of leaking fork seals.

A. Dirt is lodged between the seal and the fork slider, allowing oil past. The seal is not buggered, just dirty

B. The seal has been physically damaged, usually as a result of damage to the slider

C. The seal is really old and past it’s use by date

The A type is the most common and is the easiest to fix. To help prevent this, give your seals some lovin’ from time to time, when you’re washing your bike.

Hose all the dirt off, then use something like Castrol Wonderclean (truck wash type stuff), then get the hose out and blast like crazy at your forks , both on the chrome slider and in the vicinity of the dust seal. The dust seal is the rubber sealing thingy that’s fitted into the fork outer (on the top on USD forks, the bottom on conventionals - like fitted to XRs).

The actual fork seal is hidden under the outer dust seal. The dust seal is the thing that is supposed to help keep the crap out, away from your seal. The seal holds all the oil back, but relies on working without too much dirt and shit.

So, you want your dust seal to be working A1, to protect the oil seal and keep all the oil inside your forks where it belongs.

Carefully use a flat bladed screwdriver to prize out the dust seal. You might have to lever in two or three spots to get it out. Be gentle, you don’t want to slip and scratch the chrome fork slider.

Now you’ve got the dust seal out, wash the shit out of it. Get some Wonderclean in there and blast away. You can help by pulling gently on one side of the dust seal, to create a small gap between the seal and the slider, allowing the gunk to wash away. Rotate the seal around and wash all of it. Use full hose pressure if necessary.

Then, it’s also okay to hose the oil seal itself, as there will probably be gunk around it as well.

I then use a little bit of compressed air to blow any remaining shit out of both the area around the oil seal and also the dust seal. This isn’t really necessary, but it’s probably a good idea to allow the area to dry before you reassemble, as water tends to attract dust and dirt.

Then, carefully push the dust seal back into place. You will most likely have to push in two or three spots to get it back, but it can be done by hand no worries.

If you perform this simple routine when you wash your bike, your fork seals should last much longer before they leak.

While you’re there, carefully check the chrome fork sliders for damage. Stones can bounce off the bashplate and flick forwards onto the sliders, sometimes creating little sharp chips in the chrome. You’ll feel the chips with your hands if you run them up and down slowly.

These chips can then damage your fork seal as the sliders runs up and down through it. Even if you replace the damaged seal, the chip will flog out the new one in no time, so you’ve gotta fix your chips asap. Luckily, that’s also very easy.

Get some fine wet and dry sandpaper and using a little water, sand the chip away so that your slider is smooth again. Run your hands over it to check. Only rub as much as you have to, there’s no need to rub your fork leg off, just make the chip smooth.

If your sliders are not damaged but oil is still leaking past the seal, it’s time to try another little trick. Grab your feeler guage and select a thin blade, like about four thou’. Slide the dust seal out of the way so you’ve got access to the fork seal, then carefully slide the blade up between the fork seal and the slider.

Don’t slide it in too far, as the wide part of the blade will tend to cut or slice the seal when you do the next bit, which is sliding the blade around the seal to remove any grit stuck in there. I only stick it in a centimetre or so. (Ed: sometimes I get overcome and stick it in the whole way, but that’s another story).

I like to do this in four or five goes, sliding the blade around a little and down at the same time on a bit of an angle to remove the crud. I then re – insert it carefully and continue around the seal, overlapping each area a little each time.

You might find you have to take the plastic fork protector off so you can easily get right around the seal. It’s easiest to get to with both the protector and the front wheel off, but I find I can access it okay with just the protector removed.

Dunno about stupid orange things, which have a protector that runs around the back of the slider as well. That may make the job harder. Might also help prevent chips. Dunno, don’t care, they’re a stupid colour and quite ugly.

These extremely simple checks and processes can stop a seal leaking altogether and instead of splashing out for someone to fit new seals, you might get months or years more service out of them.

Next time I service my forks, I’ll show you how to do that, ‘cause that’s something that the average bloke can also do in his shed without much heartache at very low cost.

Those lucky little buggers from Tallangatta Secondary College have a subject called ‘the science of motorcycling’. They’ve been running it for five years or so now and the police pay me to go out there a few times each year and run a coaching day for them.

The Towong shire let them use a few acres of paddock behind the tip (Ed: once all MX tracks seemed to be behind the tip). So we go out there and practice wheelies and skids on their mini - grasstrack.

Initially, Duncan has them doing basic skill work at the school, with them progressing to the sessions with me at the track. We’ve had quite a few girls do the course and next year there is an all - girl course happening.

They just replaced their fleet of bloody Yamahas with more bloody Yamahas, much to my disgust. They were going red, but somehow red missed the boat.

To counter, I offered my Honda badged Ride Safe stickers to them and they plastered them all over their Yamahas with the zeal of youth in no time.

It’s not just a hoot, even though it is a hoot. We break riding down into individual skills, like throttle use, braking, cornering, blah blah blah. They could all ride a bit, being farm boys.

I had them doing some stoppies, which was scary for most of them first up, but they really enjoyed getting on top of a new skill.

We did some log crossing, as these are kids from the sticks and some of them ride out in the forest on weekends with their dads and mates.

They are always a pleasure to work with, being mostly farm kids. Good manners, little rudeness and good listening skills. There is always a significant improvement in their riding at the end of the day, which is a bonus for us all.

I get to hoon about like a teenager a bit too.

And I had to respond to their threat ‘You’re only faster than us ‘cause you’re on a 450′ with a few hot laps on one of the 150’s.

The school report a drop in the number of kids missing school as a result of off road motorcycle injuries since the program started.

Much of this must be the input they get from the program, as many of them don’t have much safety gear. The school should be congratulated for being so open - minded and forward thinking. They also run go - karts!

Excellant work on the KTM borrower. I swear i didnt know i was handling stolen goods even if i did think the owner was a bit suss. (Bob: yeah, sure. I’ve got photos of you up real close handling the stinking orange thing, you’re nicked mate!)

(Ed: Bob is a mate of mine who I get to do the dirty work.)

Anyway,on the 32 head stem nut. Mine kept coming loose until i torqued it to the specified amount quoted in the handbook. Cant remember the amount. Hasnt come loose since. (Ed: Fantastic Honda manual quotes head stem nut torque as 80 foot - pounds, quite a lot)

The last time someone flicked my hot start lever the thing didnt run properly for weeks.This should be avoided in the bush unless you are sure its lubricated and will return.

So, punters, a poorly lubed hot start lever can cause you heartache. I think it was me who pulled on Wayno’s lever, causing him three weeks or so of motor drama, as it ran lean with a stuck hot start plunger.

So, if you want to check yours, do it in the shed. It’s quite a hard thing to fix out in the bush if it gets stuck.

Believe it or not, a bloke brought a stolen KTM on one of our tours. No shit. He concealed the identity of the bike with a false number plate from another bike and got away with it at the time.

The bike was stolen as a brand new bike and he bought it cheap, knowing it was hot.

Then came along on a tour, run by a copper, on a bike he knew was stolen and rode around with us for the entire weekend as if nothing was wrong.

I can’t say too much, as since then, I’ve unearthed the truth, recovered the stolen bike and charged the offender.
Anything that would identify him here would be ’sub judice’, which translates roughly as ‘talking about a court case before it gets to court’.

So his identity and specific details of the case will not be revealed.

Just goes to show that many humans can’t be trusted and think they are above the law.

He was very sorry. Sorry he got caught.

I have no sympathy for bike thieves. Only around one in 3 of the 8000 or so bikes stolen in Australia each year (Ed: Imagine a line of 8000 bikes, that’s a lot of unhappy owners) are recovered and returned to the owners.

Many are returned in poor condition. ‘Ride it like you stole it’ is often very appropriate.

It belonged to KTM, but it could have been anyone’s. The bloke I caught had no idea who had owned it and didn’t seem to care. So it was good to strike a blow for the victims of bike theft.

I’d like to thank those who assisted me with information that led to the arrest of the perpetrator, it was an honest and decent thing to do.

From now on, we’ll be forced to demand production of registration labels that coincide with number plates. Work thrust upon us by thieves.

Received via SMS:

“Nice blog, clown”

(Ed: Hoo Hoo, Hee Hee, Hah Hah, Hoo Hoo ……..)

Really, what does a bloke who rings me at 8.30 a.m. on a Sunday, when I’d finished work at 2 a.m., to ask if I’ve already put the new plastics on the borrowed CRF and can he take it riding, when Cheryl has already told him I had and it was ready for sale, expect?

Glowing tributes? Praise about his new found ability to ride at least a little like a human since he swapped from the stinking orange thing to the Honda?

Yeah - Nah. Yeah - Nah. Nah.

This thing is stupidly cheap. 2008 Honda CRF450X. Goes hard. $7150.00 !!!!!!! No shit. Valve clearances checked and all is as new. UHD tubes, Force bash plate, 80% tyres, spare set of same. No damage.
Rego till Feb.

Have any of you ever actually seen Monty or Don ride????

Buy me now!

0407 271 548

No offers. Bugger off, it’s stupidly cheap.

Peter sent me this info:

Hi Rod, good article on cable loobing. I just got caught with the hot start cable on the X. Cable and valve were stuck tight and had to replaced. Pain in the arse to replace and pain in the pocket for the parts - $70. Anyway is there any reason why I should not use silicon spray in the cable ?. Cheers Pete.

Pete, Silicon spray would most likely be fine, slippery shit that it is.

Thanks for the reminder that your hot start lever and cable should get some lovin’ sometime too. It’s a good idea to give the hot start a flick every time you ride the bike, to avoid it getting stuck.

At the carby end, there’s a brassy type of piston that runs in the alloy of the carby. Dissimilar metals like to corrode and if you don’t ever use the thing, eventually it’ll lock solid like Pete’s did and cost you some moolah.

As well, it’s a carby off job, which means it’s a muffler off, subframe up, shock out job. I can see you frowning now. Go give your lever a few flicks while it’s on your mind.

That bloke Hooligan I was telling you about, the one who makes the TCR quicklift stand, has the right idea - don’t die wondering.

He’s off to New Zealand tomorrow (again) to race in some high profile Vets race at some piss - off - good New Zealand motocross track.

You know, the undulating loamy sandy type you drool over in ADB from time to time.

Bastard.

He’s up against Daryl Hurley (Ed: over 30!!), Darryl King and some gun called Dave from England who nearly beat Chuck Sun at the world vets recently. The start line will be full of guns.

Last year, he got warned for performing his patented move, codenamed ‘H.A.S.T.E’ (Hooligan’s Advanced Sneaky Takeoff Escape). Basically, it involves starting from as far back from the gate as you can, taking a well - timed run up just before the gate drops and hopefully by the the time the other riders have dropped the clutch, you’re passing them at warp speed in top gear!

I can’t hang it on him too much, as I think he poached the patent from me. However, I called it R.O.O.S.T (Rod’s Opposition Obliterating Sneaky Takeoff). If you can sneakily see the starter actuating the gate mechanism, even better. If ever you see a good rider at the start line looking intently somewhere other than at the gate, he’s probably about to HASTILY ROOST.

Last year, the Clerk of Course approached him and alleged he was ‘chiitting’ (Kiwi’s can’t speak properly). They felt sorry for him ‘cause they reckoned he was just a dumb Aussie, which admittedly he puts on well and he got away with it that time, riding to a second place finish! But I reckon they’ll be right onto the chiitt now.

Here’s another shot showing how good his starts were last time:

Andrew’s comment on this shot was:

‘This photo is about 10 meters out of the start gate. The Honda bloke obviously is a bigger cheat than me ( only joking)’

Notice, that whilst HASTE has given him a huge advantage, it’s often insufficient to bring a KTM up to Honda Speed.

Here’s Andrew’s take on the track:

‘The photo of the track doesn’t really do it justice. The start straight was 400mt long and the back straight was 800 mt. Half way down the start straight the 450’s were valve bouncing at top speed. The entire track was whooped out up to 2ft deep of volcanic pumice sand so it was a battle of the craziest.’

My kind of track, sounds like some of the loamy Thumpernats tracks of the past where you were in about 9th gear by the end of the straights and most corners were full throttle roosting in deep loam. I’ve started to shake just thinking about it. How can we incorporate a lap or two of this into a tour?????

This year, up against Daryl and Darryl (there’s a line for you there Monty!)and without the aid of H.A.S.T.E, he’ll be up against it. We wish him well and are way jealous.

Good to see someone livin’ the dream.

No, I’m not referring to the blokes I ride with, but real nuts.

The dirty great 32 mm alloy nut that holds the top triple clamp down has worked loose again. I’m obviously not doing it up tight enough, even though I leant pretty heavy on the tool at do - up time.

Could it have come right off? Yep, I was able to unwind it all the way off into my fingers, so it was only a matter of time before it did so itself through vibration.

I might lock - wire the bastard on like I did on the 450R at Finke if I use the MSC again.

I was pulling the bike apart to prepare it for sale, so the MSC steering dampener was coming off anyway.

Was it the only problem?

This one became that loose, it buggered off altogether.

So, I unbolted the dampener, to find yet another loose bolt!

The little alley key jobby in the middle was loose. That’ll get pulled out, cleaned up with a wire brush and re fastened with some loctite so it’s less likely to happen again.

I don’t want it coming loose, as it secures the arm works the damping mechanism.

Actually, I don’t want any of these bolts to be loose. Imagine catching plenty of air off a huge spoonie at speed, launching into the never - never, confidently hanging onto the bars for control, only to find the bars are attached to the top triple clamp, which is not attached to the bike………..

So, worst case scenario, it’s obvious that loose bolts can be a serious issue. But has this current bolt drama affected other parts of my bike?

I had to take the top triple clamp off to take the part of the dampener off that mounts to the headstem, so while I was there, I thought I may as well check and grease the headstem bearings.

To check the bearing free play, to see if the loose nut had any effect, I’m rocking the forks forward and backward with one hand, whilst placing my other hand on the frame and steering stem. If there’s any play, you should be able to feel it. A light touch with the hand on the wheel is better than a gorilla grip.

There was some free play, so the loose nut was eroding the proper adjustment of my head stem bearings. If left unattended, this would have resulted in rooted bearings at the least and eventually buggering the bits that the bearings run in (Ed: the bloody frame!!!)

So, whilst I had it apart, I may as well delve deeper, checking and re - greasing the bearings.

To get to the bearings, it’s not necessary to take the whole front end off. Loosen the adjusting nut, you might have to use a hammer and drift (Ed: that’s not a cool powerslide, you tool, but something like a blunt screwdriver you hit with a hammer to make shit happen)Stick your foot under the front wheel and with your hands, push the forks as high as they will go, so that the pressure comes off the adjusting nut on the head stem.

If you don’t prop the front end with something, like your foot, gravity causes it to try to roll forwards and downwards as you undo the nut, which means there’s constant pressure on the nut and you can’t undo it with your hands, so keep the upwards pressure on with your foot and it’ll be much easier.

When you’ve got the adjusting nut off, you can let the front end down just enough to give you access to the bottom bearing. It should sit there by itself without falling right out if you’ve got a TCR stand (Ed: shameless sponsor plug).

Is the dirt visible in the photo below the bearing an issue? Not really. It’s below the bearing seal and most like attracted to a smear of grease I left there when I first greased the bearing, very soon after delivery of the new steed. I’ll use a tooth brush to get rid of it anyway.

I visually checked both bearings for obvious damage, but they looked fine.

The top one can be easily removed now, for closer inspection and re greasing.

Do I bother to wash all the old grease out and then re - grease? Nah, wasted time, I reckon. Just plaster some new grease all over it with your fingers. I should probably wear gloves, but my pea brain only just thought of that very obvious idea right now, so this time I used a rag.

I wipe any dirt or excess grease away from places it shouldn’t be (Ed: anywhere other than the bearing or where it lives in the frame)with a clean rag.

Then, I have the bearing seal and adjuster nut handy, before I grab the forks and push the heas stem up as far as it will go. Stick the seal on, then making sure that you’ve pushed up enough so that some thread on the stem is visible so that the nut will go on, thread the nut on. You might have to push pretty hard on the forks to get them up there, the whole shebang is pretty heavy.

Use the same foot pressure method as you did at disassembly to keep the front end pushed up - and - back to allow you to get the nut done up with your fingers without breeding a hernia.

How tight do you do the adjusting nut up? Same as most bearings, enough to remove the free - play, but not much tighter at all. Over tightening bearings is easy to do, but bad for the bearings, as they then fall to bits on you much faster. So, tight enough to remove the slop, but no gorillaring on bearings please, not much more than finger tight, with an angry look on your face. (Ed: do any of you have any idea what this idiot is on about?) Think the photo of ‘Joe Bugner’ on the last Groggin trip. Just the sight of Donny’s dial would tighten any nut (Ed: nuts are female) so that bolt entry (Ed: the male bit) would be improbable.

Once adjusted, check that the front end moves smoothly left and right, by turning the wheel or mudguard.

Then, I replaced the top triple clamp and the naughty nut that caught my attention first by becoming loose. How tight do you do that nut up?

As it turns out, my inspection of the manual said 80 foot - pounds. Forgive me, I was born in 1966, the year of decimal currency. I have a father who, whilst able to adapt to the new measurements really well, was brought up on inches. I’m with him. Just how big is 150mm anyway?

So, I’ve not embraced Newton - Metres just yet, meaning that 80 foot pounds is the go, which translates to very tight. Try it with a torque wrench one day, I was surprised that the alloy nut should be that tight. Then again, this is the second one of mine that has come loose.

Once that’s done up, you’ve then got to do up the triple clamp bolts again. These only get done to 16 foot pounds or so.

So, the moral of the story is that I’ve:

A) Not tightened some nuts enough in the first instance and should have used a torque wrench to get it right

Not spent enough time checking my bike over before or during each ride.

How long has it been since you’ve gone over your steed with a fine tooth and comb?

(Ed: The smiley yellow face somehow invaded my site and I can’t get rid of him. Could be a Suzuki infiltrator after our secrets. At least it’s not orange)

Servicing time can eat into riding time and so sometimes we’re choosy about just which tasks to perform. Personally, I’m right on top of washing the bike, cleaning air filters and changing oil.

But lubricating cables? I do it a bit, but know plenty of blokes who only do it if they have to, such as when the ’stupid bloody thing’ is seized and won’t work due to lack of lovin’.

It’s actually only a five minute job and can not only save you dollars, but make the bike nicer to ride.

Most of you know that I love to use the clutch to improve my riding, so a smooth and easy to use clutch lever is a must. A clutch cable and/or perch that is clogged with crud makes the lever harder to pull in, which can be a major cause of arm pump.

Throttle control is also vital, also being much easier with a smooth set of throttle cables.

So, let’s begin with a dirty specimen. No, not the one from Bindaree Falls, for those who made the Buller trip, but the dirty cable on my 450X.

Remove the lever and cable from the perch. Firstly, take out the bolt that holds the lever to the perch. You might need another spanner to hold the lock nut on the bottom end of the bolt.

Adjust the quick adjust cable adjuster on the perch so that you have as much free play as possible. Then remove the lever from the end of the cable.

Then line up the slot in the quick adjuster screw with the slot in the perch and take the cable out. You need to pull the cable through both the rubber cover and the rubber quick adjuster. Both should be cleaned out with a rag for the best job. Then you’re left just with a cable.

All this crud on all these components works to create more friction and wear, neither of which we want.

So, to clean the cable, firstly use a rag to wipe the crap off the bit you can see. Then we take our ten dollar cable - luber, available from all good Honda shops (Ed: rumour has it that Yamaha actually make a really good two - bolt model, but I can’t tell you that) and affix it to the cable.

Then, use something like Contact cleaner or Castrol DWF (De - Watering - Fluid) to blast the crap out of the cable.

Contact cleaner is probably the best, as it leaves no residue, however it’s fairly pricey. It is also ace for cleaning the crud off the lever and perch, but there are certainly cheaper options involving more labour and perhaps a rag. Good luck with that.

Most times, I use a rag to cover the cable luber, as dirty wet grime tends to spray all over the joint. Cable - lubers tend to leake a little where the cable comes out the top end.

How long do you spray for? Until all the crud is gone! Check the other end of the cable and when dirty discharge has been replaced by clean discharge, you should stop, as after this you’re just wasting fluid.

If you’re pedantic (Ed: I don’t like the word anal much), you might want to stick a rag under this end to catch the crud.

Then, I replace the Contact cleaner with a can of graphite spray, which I find works really well. You only need to spray a little, just enough for some to start weeping out the other end of the cable. You’ll know when it does, the ooze will return to graphite - black.

Now you can re - assemble all the bits. Feed the cable back thru the rubber adjuster and cover, then onto the perch via the slot. Attach the newly - cleaner lever. You can use a little light grease on the end of the cable where it connects to the lever, the lever where it rubs on the perch and the bolt that attaches the lever to the perch, but only a very little or it will attract crud.

Re adjust your lever free - play so that you’ve got a little free play, go and put your riding gear on and enjoy the thing.

I think that whilst hydraulic clutches certainly have some advantages, particularly in that they self adjust and are often nice and light at clutch pull time, they are not as reliable as the old cable and perhaps thus less suited to trail use.

We’ve had a couple get some water into the fluid on recent tours and either not work at all or take a fair bit of work to get going again. Note that they take mineral oil not brake fluid, as brake fluid eats into the rubbers.

Lubing your throttle cables is very similar to the above, excepting that you need a little more patience sometimes to get the throttle and cables back together. You also can’t see the other end of the cables, as they are hidden under a plastic cover on the right hand side of the FCR carby.

Suffice it to say that the crud spewing out the other end of the cable when you blast contact cleaner down it does not enter your carby, but will just ooze into the void under the plastic cover, causing no real issues.

When re - assembling the throttle, some graphite spray or 5 WT fork oil (Ed: or Auto Transmission Fluid, which is just like fork oil) works well to lubricate between the newly - cleaned throttle tube and the handlebar.

Beware, don’t put too much force into the 6mm bolts that hold the throttle cover together, they can strip out fairly easily.

After much procrastination (Ed: dicking about) I finally have the proposed 2009 tour schedule for you.

I say ‘proposed’ as I’m still planning and have some crazy - arsed ideas, such as an advanced rider only trip to the coast and back. Say, Lakes Entrance?

The girls bemoan the Groggin trip, as it’s an incredible amount of work for them, but I couldn’t let our best tour (Ed: arguably, Buller’s gotta be up there, the riding on Yack to Eskdale is sublime and Bono reckons he enjoyed Benambra the best this year) go to the dogs. So the ever popular three day Groggin adventures are back.

I’ve got a couple of plans to ease the girls workload, so we should be right to go again.

We’ve got a new tour, to Harrietville, that has awesome potential. The Snowline Hotel - Motel has upmarket (for us anyway) accommodation and gives access to some beaut real high country terrain.

I’m undecided yet if it will be ‘Yack to Harrietville’ or just ‘Harrietville’.

The September tour listed as Eskdale will either be just that, or at Yackandandah again. Hopefully the near - naked bunnies come to the pub again to keep you blokes amused.

If anyone has a great idea for a tour to a new destination, let me know and we’ll see if it can be made to work.

Here’s the dates. I already have bookings for some tours, despite not having dates at the time, so if you feel you just must go on a particular tour, I wouldn’t stuff about, as our limit is 20.

You bloggers have an advantage on the world, as the dates have not been released elsewhere yet, however they will be very shortly.

28/29/30 March
3 day Tom Groggin Adventure

19th April
Trail Coaching Day - Yackandandah

2/3 May
Harrietville - New Tour

20/21 June
Yackandandah to Eskdale

4 July
Trail Coaching Day - Yackandandah

5 July
Single day ride - Yackandandah

1 August
Yackandandah Charity Bash

12/13 September
Eskdale

10/11/12 October
3 day Tom Groggin Adventure

7/8 November
Mt Buller

All two day tours will be $350, 3 day tours $450.
Coaching days and single day rides $100. Small rises to combat the large rises we’ve faced, especially food, but pretty well everything.

Regards,

Rod Lay
Online Off Road Tours
8 Railway Ave Yackandandah Vic 3749
0407271548
rod@onlineoffroadtours.com.au
www.onlineoffroadtours.com.au

Twin City Engineering is an Albury based engineering shop run by, and full of, dirt bike nuts. Andrew Houlihan, aka ‘Hooligan’ is the boss nut and he and I have been bashing bars for years.

The factory’s main focus is high - end, high - tech engineering, such as CNC machining.

Due to their bent towards dirt bikes however, they also turn out a range of bike stuff.

I’ve been testing one of their quick lift stands for a few years now. Previously, I’d made my own from mild steel and was happy with the result. However there’s no doubt the TCR stand is way better.

This is a brand new one I scabbed of Andrew to use at the Expo. It’s ultra high quality. Made of stainless, it’s designed to last forever and should look new it’s entire life.

It’s got enough lift to suit a range of motorcycles and allows you to get either or both wheels off the ground if needs be.

It’s got a hard plastic plate to stand your bike on, which is really tough and should last ages, if not the life of the stand. Probably longer than you.

It’s got a hard nylonish bush in the guts that’s makes the operation silky smooth and stops it tilting to either side when raised, so your bike is unlikely to fall off the leaning tower of Pisa (Ed: Yes Corbett, I’m referring to your dodgy example!)

It’s got good nuts too, with quality bolts, as you can see.

Pictured here is my several years old model, holding up the 450X. It’s on an angle, but that’s no drama.

Because the lift plate is sufficiently wide enough to provide insurance against lazy arses.

What do I do with it? Well, for starters, I leave my bikes on a stand whenever possible when not riding them. Less pressure on the springs equals reduced spring sag and better suspension performance.

Everyone wants better suspension performance, it’s more important that better engine performance.

I use them when changing tyres, obviously. I’ve changed more than a hundred tyres with it. If you put the stand towards the rear of the bike, the back wheel comes off the ground. Towards the front, the front’s up, in the middle, both hover.

This makes tyre changing much easier at home. The static stands that you have to lift the bike onto are okay, but in my mind nowhere near as good as a quicklift stand.

Also, I use the stand when performing any type of work on the bike whatsoever. It’s easier to work on the bike when it’s upright. The left hand side is always harder to get to when the bike’s leant over on the side stand.

The leverage ratio is a winner. It’s simple to use your foot to raise the bike, requiring minimal effort.

To lower it, just tuck your toes under the pedal and lift gently - down she goes. I’ve done it in bare feet. I don’t recommend it, but that shows how easy it is to use.

The TCR stand is definately on of the best bits of kit in my shed. Ballards advertise the ‘world’s best quicklift stand’. It’d want to be bloody good, as the TCR stand is a blinder.

Go to www.twincityengineering.com.au to score one, or call Andrew on 0412 041 381.

Bias factor: Medium. Andrew is a friend of mine whom I’ve known for more than ten years. However this is offset by the long term of the test (several years).

What is the retail cost? Dunno! About 150 bucks? I just reckon it’s the best stand I’ve ever used and everyone should have a good stand.

Also, my ‘08 CRF450R will be available soon, say after the first week in December. It’s done about 12 hours only and is in near new condition. New tyres, X - ring chain and sprockets.

The plastics are brand new, having never been on the bike.

Yeah, it ran in the Finke, but only at race pace for 2 hrs and 37 minutes, as I nursed it home at less than trail pace with a busted hand.

7.5 ono.

Rod

0407271548

Cheap. 2008 CRF450X. Done approx. 2800 kms. Well serviced. No damage. Ridden by Don and Monty, so probably never ever been above half throttle!

Good Pirelli tyres. Ultra Heavy Duty tubes. Force bashplate.

All new plastics (front and rear mudguards, side plates, shrouds, headlight) come with it in a box.

Registered, comes with indicators etc.

$7500

Bargain.

Call Rod 0407271548

I received this from Dave:

G’day matey,

Sounds a bit sooky but I soak mine in “Miltons” baby bottle cleaner occasionally to fully get rid of the bugs where you cannot get to.

(Ed: I wonder if it makes him suck on the nipple harder??)

I have often said that the Victorian High Country is an unpredictable place. Sunny one minute, sleeting horizontally the next, on the same day. To strike perfect conditions in Spring in the midst of our fearsome drought would be like winning tattslotto.

I’m now confused as to why I’m not rich, since we just rode near perfect conditions for two days straight.

The weather forecast had looked ominous, with storms, rain and possibly snow forecast, with a maximum of 6. I’d warned the blokes to pack wet weather gear and the rain started Friday, continuing on into the night.

Saturday started overcast and threatening, but it actually stayed that way all day and we enjoyed cool dustless conditions with little real mud.

We take a fair bit of stuff with us. I spend at least two days before a tour preparing and packing gear. A day in the kitchen for Cheryl, then at least a whole day cleaning it all up and putting it away.

The troopy’s cargo section gets stacked to the roof as well.

We have to have a place to keep the fillet mignon fresh!

As usual, I tested them early and the wet, rutted intro had a couple flailing, it being a quite difficult little number.

Jamie, pictured, discovered to his horror that he had about one tooth left on his front sprocket about 20 seconds after this picture was taken.

I’d picked up that it was worn at scrutineering and we’d hoped he could nurse it through, but it lasted about 20 minutes! It fell apart quicker than any sprocket I’ve ever seen. We all learnt a lesson about bike preparation and how much trust can be placed in a worn sprocket. Brad rode back to base with Jamie and they collected a new front sprocket from Mansfield, meeting us later for lunch.

Some blokes had no problems with the hill.

Mind you, the dirty old blue thing was an ‘03 WR450, known at the time for it’s rude power delivery and ‘block of flats’ handling, so it’s no wonder he thought the Honda was a weapon.

We came across our first deer hunters soon after, they became a familiar sight. Our Buller tour always has some great terrain, scenery and the best accommodation, however we also see the most four wheel drives. Being so close to Melbourne, it’s very popular, so beware if riding up that way and stay well and truly on your side of the road on blind corners.

I got a flat coming down Weston’s rock farm track. Even the UHD tube struggled to resist the goolies at speed running 12 psi. Serves me right, should have run 14 or so, but the difference in grip is amazing. 14 = skids, 12 = traction. Next time, I might just stop and put a couple more psi in them before attacking rock farms at speed.

It wasn’t long and we were into the King river, with it’s multiple and often challenginly deep crossings. I addressed the group on the technique: stand up, using your legs to absorb the bumping from the rocky river bed, use about 1/4 throttle or a bit more to stop the engine cutting out in the water, slip the clutch a fair bit to keep the speed down and smooth out the power delivery and look to other bank, where you’d like to go.

Piece of piss said like that.

Here is the correct technique being displayed:

The alternative is to sit down and have every goolie you hit transfer a bump via the seat to your arse, bouncing you all over the joint. This often leads to the style known as ‘the octopus’.

First one leg, then the other.

This technique often leads to wetness all over the body and other places water shouldn’t be, like inside your motor.

He was lucky that it turned fishy in the shallow bit!

Sometimes, all good intentions can go out the window though.

Here’s one customer, who we’ll call ‘Ribsy’, doing the right thing, standing.

Then when he sat down, it’s going pear shaped.

Then it’s all over.

But not everyone was this lucky everytime.

We had to stand the XR on it’s back wheel and drain the water from the exhaust, before removing the spark plug and draining the carby before it’d go again.

Then Chris decided to smash his usually unbreakable DRZ against a rock whilst trying to cross at another point.

At first, I thought we’d be able to save it with a bit of the legendary JB Weld metal fixing bog, but the back end of the pump was worse.

Here’s the culprit. If he wears them thar braces agin’, we’s gunna call him Cletis.

Lunch, as usual, was grouse. Cheryl and Rita had an entree of pea and ham soup for us, followed by ‘build your own sandwhich in your own style’, then tea/coffee with chocolates or biscuites.

Immediately after lunch we checked out a great new loop around lake Cobbler. We were miles from our lodge now.
The staircase was a rocky challenge, then Rough head somehow put some Alpine Ash into his left hand radiator.

We summonsed Rowan with the spares, but only had two right hand radiators and a left that had different hose confiurations, so we removed and blocked off the damaged left one and Paul rode on with just one.

We came back via some great tracks around Craig’s Hut, then tip - toed down the wet bitumen from the top of Mt Buller to the bottom. That was the low light of the trip, as a bit of drizzle and inactivity saw it get pretty cold.

We made it back to the lodge before dark, having ridden a solid 184 or so kilometres. I’d set a 12 o’clock curfew to ensure customers who wanted to get a good nights sleep could do so, but there was no need. We were all flogged and there were no real revellers.

Sunday dawned with clearer skies that turned to full sun. A fantastic big breakfast from Cheryl and Co. had us primed. In my mind, both the conditions and tracks Sunday were prime.

Matt fell and aggravated an old ankle injury, but luckily he was able to limp to the four wheel drive waiting for us at Sheepyard’s flat. Whilst he rode Doughty’s track with us, it’s unlikely he got up to the shenanigans we did.

The spoonies on Doughty’s track are awesome, large with smooth landings. Heaps of them.

At lunch time, Wayno and Pete did an ace job helping to search for a lost little girl at Sheepyard’s flat. Luckily, she turned up sobbing but okay. Their efforts were much appreciated by mum.

Then we cruised on down to check out the Bluff.

After that came the 16 mile supercross track, which has in my mind the best spoonies anywhere. Steep and scary, with big air.

Some tricky trails had a few blokes returning for a second go.

This led us to Bindaree falls, where despite being shagged, everyone took the short stroll to check out this beautiful part of the world.

Then we found it. Some low - life imitation human had left this pretty place a present.

Wouldn’t it be great to catch someone actually doing this?
They’d get a mouthful for sure.

We came back via Corn Hill, which except for the moron created 4WD ruts at the bottom, was in quite good condition. Most of us roosted up the harder bits.

Somehow, some of us still got it a little wrong.

Then, just up the track a bit, I got a scrambled uhf message from Wayno, muttering something about needing to lay down on the track for a bit. This is how I found him.

Corn hill is great, but sections of it have these little random rocks and sticks to help spit you off without warning. Wayno had hit his head pretty hard and his helmet was scuzzed up real good. Luckily, he was wearing full body armour and got through with only soreness and a panadeine forte.

At the same time, we found a Yamaha leaking radiator fluid.

So I whipped out my special radiator hose repair gadget and it was fixed in a jiffy. It’s a length of rim tape, (Ed: you should have heaps of that laying around, having followed my advice and replaced it with tape to make changing tyres easier) with a bit of double sided velcro glued to it.

We were starting to run low on fuel (already having travelled 135 k’s), so we used some of the spare fuel Harro and I carried, as well as draining a little from the 14 litre Safari tank I have fitted to my bike. It might be a little heavier when full, but they’re pretty heavy when you’ve run out and have to push them!

The CRF is very fuel efficient and coupled with the larger tank, I can easily get well over 200 k’s range fro the Safari. I’ve filled it with baffling foam to stop the sloshing fuel having such an adverse affect on the handling and truthfully, I hardly know the bigger tank is there.

When we got back to the lodge, the girls had prepared a barbecue for us. Most of us were pretty shagged. Frank had these red eyes that looked demonic. It was quite a tough tour physically, but worth it. The riding was great and the scenery awesome.

This was our last tour for 2008. I’ve got a draft 2009 calendar, but we’re just rubbing our chins a little more before I let it out to the world.

Water has the tendency to promote growth. Water your vegies and in no time there’s greenery everywhere.

Unfortunately, even without much sun, it also helps the inside of your Camelbak bladder to turn green after a while.

Camelbak have some special secret that resists green growth, but nothing is completely resistant to the powers of nature.

At some stage, you may find your bladder starting to look like this:

To clean the bladder out is straightforward. I just put my whole hand in there and scrape the crud off, with or without a spongy type thing. The filler hole is quite large and I can squeeze my hand in there without too much trouble, even though I take an XXL glove.

To clean the tube requires more thought. I’ve produced a tool.

It’s got a little knot tied at one end that is a firmish fit in the hose, so that it acts as a grunge remover.

I used to tie a nail to the end of the line, then use gravity to feed it down the hose, so that when it came out the other end I could pull the knotted material through.

But now I’ve found an easier method.

To clean the plastic on off switch, or tap, I use an old toothbrush.

Check the inside of the threaded filler cap, as often it hides grunge you mightn’t see.

Re - assemble and you’re done.

Some blokes like to avoid this cleaning routine by putting their whole bladder into the freezer after each ride. I used to do that and it worked a treat, however sometimes forget and have to go to plan B.

Rowan has a couple of CRF250X’s for sale. Both are in good nick and have been very well looked after.

Here’s his blurb on the bikes:

CRF 250 X 2007 mod, good condition, 3000km, bash plate, hand guards, radiator guards, spares kit/2 tyres, serviced every 400km, reg-FN 004 $7500 ono
CRF 250 X 2008 mod, excellent condition, 450km, bash plate, hand guards, radiator guards, fat bars, wave discs, spares kit/2 tyres, reg-GD 233 $8500 ono

He hasn’t mentioned how much reg each has left, but I reckon both are registered.

Both have had a graphics kit from new and the plastics underneath will be brand new. He’s a smooth rider who doesn’t thrash stuff and is an excellent mechanic with a strong maintenance ethic. I’d buy a bike from him (Ed: you idiot, you don’t buy bikes).

Rowan can be contacted on 0428 446 040

Our Mt Buller tour is a complex animal. Due to the sheer size of the dirty great mountains in the area, there are only a finite number of tracks.

Due in part to erosion caused mostly by four wheel drives and the need to repair them, Parks Victoria are constantly changing access to tracks. Some they just decide to shut altogether.

Also, since the tracks don’t open (Ed: many are subject to seasonal road closures, meaning the ‘wet’ season) until the Thursday before cup weekend, and the authorities rely almost solely on the public to cut trees blocking tracks, there are no guarantees that we will be able to use the tracks we want to.

This means that we have a limited window of opportunity to conduct the much needed pre - tour. Cup weekend was out, as I was at the Expo. Every four wheel drive in Melbourne would have been up that way anyway. So today, Wayno and I went for a ride.

Pre tours are all glitz and glamour. We spare no expense.

Plenty of campers were leaving Sheepyard Flat and surrounds as we motored through and we had to be very careful not end up as a bonnet emblem on a Tojo. Some were driving on our side of the road.

We checked out the re - built Bluff Hut. It was cool. Not as big as the previous model, destroyed by bushfire, but well set out and constructed.

From the hut, we could see clearly across to Buller and Stirling. Was that snow we could see?

Despite the snow and some mud in parts, the drought is for real and we need more rain. Some is forecast for Friday and Saturday. I had planned to ride up Corn Hill, but that’ll all turn to shit if we get much moisture.

Parks Vic tell me they are going to shut Corn Hill for good. It’s because of damage done at the bottom, right next to the Howqua river, by four wheel drives. The ruts are truly bad.

How have bikes contributed to the damage there. Oh, about nil. Is it fair that one of our favourite tracks is shut because of bogans who seemingly need to prove to their mates that they can’t get through the way too deep ruts? No.

Due to the finite number of tracks on that side of the mountain, we will have no choice but to either take boring two wheel drive type roads or abandon visits to that side of the hill altogether.

The second option is poor, as iconic landmarks like the Bluff and Bindaree falls are on that side.

I’m going to lobby Parks Vic to keep the track open, but only for bikes. Wish me luck!

Well, it’s all over for another year. The Expo is a double - edged sword for me. It’s an awesome opportunity to spread the Ride Safe message, gain significant sponsor exposure and network with the industry.

It’s also a fair number of 12 - plus hour days. Three of them wearing riding gear.

The showbag contents, some of which you saw stacked into the trailer, near filled our motel room. We had to get a larger - than - usual motel room to give us the space for the showbag production line.

Unfortunately, the larger rooms were on the second floor.

This shot shows some (Ed: not all, a couple of more boxes were couriered to us at the motel or Expo later) of the brochures for the bag.

We were the sticker kings! This shot doesn’t show the Pirelli stickers that turned up at the last minute.

The bags were supplied by the TAC. Eco friendly re - usable suckers with the Bloody Idiot message.

We had to roll the posters, each rolled individually by hand, together with a sheet of ride safe stickers. The bottom of each showbag was A4 size. The sticker sheets are slightly larger and just didn’t bloody - well fit, so to save them getting squished and creased in the bags, we were forced to do them justice, one at a time.

Then we’d load them into boxes. We had several.

Then we had to head to the Melbourne Exhibition Centre (Ed: ‘Jeff’s shed’) and set up. It was full noise.

There were people everywhere scurrying like mice. Not all small though.

All right, looking at the photo now, it’s mostly orange. My bad. It was a little strange to find something that looked like a Transformer inside though.

We had our own area on the very edge (Ed: Boonies?) of the Honda stand. As it turned out, it was a very popular spot, directly opposite the major discount riding gear sale. Cheryl was very organised as usual. Without her, I’d just have buzzed about in circles gawking at the bling.

Honda had done the righty with us though and had two cool information stands to set up in front of each bike, both with details of what each was all about. Written by yours truly of course (Ed: without the ‘Rodisms’ - had to be professional here) so very different from every other similar ’spec - sheet’ in front of any other bike at the Expo.

The Honda stand is the shit. (Ed: not ’shit’, but ‘the shit’ as in, ‘good shit’). It was as usual bigger and better than the rest. They had spent amazing amounts of money and time to make it so.

I was wearing some cool new gear from No Fear. (Ed: unintentional rhyme). I picked it out of a brochure, not fully realising the link to my police graphics on the 450R. In this shot, you can’t see the pants, however they matched unbelievably well with the blue and white chequered thing. I certainly stood out.

Had plenty of old mates turn up, which was cool. I know they’re all bald, but does anyone recognise the suspicious looking dude on the left?

What about this caper? I had a surprise visit from a couple of high - level traffic cops, pledging support for my program. This was the first time in several years that someone in uniform had turned up and been positive. They’d come along just to visit me. They were down to earth and quite positive, which was a huge step in the right direction.

We cruised down to see Roger Pitt of the DSE, who was running a stand together with VMAC (Ed: Victorian Motorcycle Advisory Council - the ones who work out how to spend the $50 rego levy). It was good to see that the authorities, including police, are now working together on motorcycle issues.

Not just compliance, but educational stuff as well, which is about time and very welcome. The DSE had a DVD playing with cool footage (Ed: you idiot) of both on and off road riding tips. At one stage, I was surprised to see a good looking tour operator wearing a Pirelli badged Dri Rider explaining the finer points of riding skills out in the bush. They didn’t stuff about, we only filmed that footage two weeks ago.

Apparently the first segment was on MXTV last week, but I missed it. Should be another one on the next show, so visit MXTV on channel 183.

Back to the grind, much of my time was spent rolling posters and dishing out showbags to the audience.

Feedback indicated we had the best showbags at the Expo by a canter (Ed: cup weekend).

Fifty or more bags could vanish in a couple of minutes. When it was busy, it was like throwing hot chips to sea gulls. At one stage I was considering chucking a bag into the throng to see if someone got trampled.

Did I mention the cool No Fear stuff?

In the end, we didn’t manage to find the time to pack all the bags and only got through around 800. We were stymied by much of the stuff turning up at the last minute and weren’t going to pack then re - pack each bag.

I got an offer from the police of some manpower to help put them together next year and will take it up.

Was it worth it? It’s been around a week of 12 hour days and now Cheryl and I are pretty tired, but yeah. When I ran out of bags each day, I got to spend some time looking around and there were some cool bikes and exhibits. I got some seriously valuable networking done.
The bags and Ride Safe stickers were a hit.

For the first time ever, Vic Police agreed to pay me some overtime for the 12 hour days at the show itself. Not my local bosses, but the traffic police from headquarters in Melbourne. That was a surprise first and gives me some confidence that they are actually fair dinkum about backing an educational program.

The TAC had their new website on show. Visit www.spokes.com.au which is pretty cool. It’s an interactive site with stacks of good info. At this stage, it’s all road bike based, but I spent a fair bit of time explaining to the TAC, Police, VMAC and DSE that us dirt bikers should have our own section on the site.

The DSE site was popular and everytime I visited, they were flat out talking to parents who had questions like ‘where can I ride with my son?’.

That was the most common question I got at my stand and I had no simple answers for people. Why doesn’t Victoria have riding parks like NSW seems to have?

I reckon that Motorcycling Victoria and the industry should band together and buy a dirty great bit of suitable land so that their customers have somewhere to enjoy their bikes, riding as families. Accommodation, coaching, arrowed loops etc etc.

This arvo, Wayno is picking me up and we’re heading off to Mt Buller to do a pre - tour for this weekends’ tour.

It rained last night and sun is forecast for tomorrow! Yeeee - Haaar!

We have a huge amount of terrain to cover, so are swagging it tonight before a full day tomorrow.

A little more rain forecast should see this weekend as another memorable Buller tour. If it doesn’t rain too much, we’ll go up Corn Hill. If it’s wet, we’ll go down. Anyone who’s spent a couple of hours on Corn Hill with me pushing and pulling bikes will know what I’m talking about.

In an hour or so, I’m heading off with Cheryl to spend four days at the Australian Motorcycle Expo, at Jeff’s shed (Ed: Melbourne Exhibition Centre - Docklands).

I’ll be part of Honda Australia’s stand, representing Vic Police and Honda.

This year, I’m displaying both the 05 Police CRF450R and the Online CRF450X tour bikes.

My display is safety based and I’m giving out 1500 showbags full of info. The bags are Eco friendly and supplied by the TAC, branded with the drink drive bloody idiot message.

Each bag contains a poster printed by Konica Minolta, information sheet with safety messages, Ride Safe sticker sheet, an info hand out on safety gear basics, a four page DSE hand out detailing where and how you can ride your bike, stickers from the TAC, Honda, m2r, Alpinestars, Pirelli, pens and stickers from Castrol, product info from Scott goggles, GME re their UHF’s and Personal Locating Beacons (Ed: EPIRBs), info from Honda re CRF accessories, and more.

In all, each bag has something like 15 different bits. In all, that’s around 22500 bits I’ve got to stuff into the bags over the weekend! Thank god for Cheryl’s help.

Ringmaster Images have produced some horn new graphics for the 450X. They are our model for next year and all of us (six!) should have new Hondas looking like this.

However, that said, can anyone think of a letter that could go in front of ‘OOT’ that would be ‘funny’? Please Harro & Co., don’t use permanent texta!

All the stuff to go into the bags weighs a ton. This photo only shows you less than half of the total load. I’ve still got to pick up boxes from the DSE at Benalla, brochures and gear from Honda, Scott are delivering brochures to the hotel, Pirelli are delivering stickers to the Expo proper. The back of the Pajero is also full.

Is it all worth it? I think so, from a few perspectives. Even the most flanno - ish of you would agree that promoting safe and responsible riding to kids is a good move.

From a personal point of view, it’s also a great opportunity to get some exposure for valuable sponsors. Whilst they buff me with gret gear from time to time, I firmly believe that nothing is free and this is one way I can help to repay them.

Wait till you see the lairy No Fear gear I’m wearing for a few days at the Expo!

If you’ve followed my set up tips on wheels, you’d have taken the rubber rim tape off and chucked it into the dark corner of the shed, or the bin.

Well, I reckon you should keep at least one of them, ‘cause they’re useful.

I cut one up and use it as an emergency radiator hose repair kit.

It looks big here, but in reality it’s only about a foot long. This roll is around an inch across, taking up stuff all room in your kit.

The scam reads thus: if you get a hole or split in a radiator hose, take your bit of rim tape and wind it over the problem area. Start above the hole and wind over and below it. Then, use something to hold it firmly in place.

You could use cable ties, tape, or double sided velcro to attach it in place over the problem hose. I particularly like double sided velcro.

I had a bit of the rim tape and glued some double sided velcro to it, to use as a complete radiator hose repair kit, but when I went to do this article, couldn’t find the bugger. I simply used contact glue to fix them together.

At the Yack charity bash I used it successfully to help old mate on a ‘berg (Ed: Derr, what else would be more likely to break down?) and it worked a treat, allowing him to finish the loop without further fluid leakage.

This bit of kit takes up stuff all room, weighs bugger all and is just about free in a pack of weeties.

What are your options? Who carries a spare radiator hose?

Oils aint Oils Sol. That famous ad also relates to many products, including tyres. We have a large array of choices when selecting rear tyres to ride dirt bikes.

We’ve got the major names like Pirelli, Dunlop, Michelin, followed by the likes of Trelleborg, IRC, Cheng Shin and more. At the ‘lower’ end of the scale, we’ve got retreads. Also, there’s new stuff like the Motoz brand. What about the grously named ‘Tractionator’??? How could any of us possibly resist a tyre called the bloody Tractionator?

My mate Leigh, a road racer but capable off roader, reckons tyres are ’round and black’, suggesting in his own way that there’s not too much difference between one and another, but if there is, he simply rides around the difference, adjusting his technique to offset the changes in grip levels.

To some extent, I agree with Leigh. There’s no doubt that we need to change the way we ride to suit the variables that we come across riding dirt bikes, such as the terrain, weather conditions, the type of bike we’re on, how it’s set up, type and wear of the tyres and more.

However, it’s become obvious to me that whilst tyres are indeed round and black, we have a few basic choices that are worlds apart.

The first choice is grip. Just how much traction will this sucker give you? How much power can you put to the ground? Most tyres, when brand new and boasting a sharp driving edge, offer fairly good traction.

Note however, that there’s no doubt that some grip way better than others. In the wet, a medium or hard terrain tyre, or a retread, can’t hold a candle to a softy or a soft/ intermediate. Doesn’t really matter which brand we’re talking about, wets are for the wet and drys are for the dry. Wet’s grip in the mud, drys don’t.

The difference can be startling. Try a hard terrain tyre, or something like a Dunlop 606, IRC, retread or even Pirelli MT18 in the wet and you’ll find yourself checking to see if your back tyre’s not flat.

These types of tyres are just plain crappy in the wet.

An interesting case is the Michelin S12, a much revered Victorian tyre in the wet. You’ll get little argument from me that they grip ace in the mud. Better than nearly anything. Bring on the Gembrook forest mid - winter.

I’ve ridden on a Dunlop 756 in mud (intermediate/hard) and they don’t grip either, especially when you try to lay the bike over to corner.

So, what about hard terrain tyres when it dries out? They come into their own, particularly in terms of wear. A hardy will not necessarily grip way better than a softy in hard terrain.

Let’s forget ‘blue groove’ rock hard MX stuff, but think about trail terrain of hard dry clay and rocks. A softy can pretty well keep up with a hardy regarding traction here. But what about wear?

A softy generally hates rocks and suffers from high wear rates, compounded by the now oft - quoted ‘knob tear’. Softies often lose their knobs in rocks.

(Ed: Harro constantly hangs shit on me for coming up with that quote, which appears in the ADB Pirelli ad. I reckon Harro suffers at times from knob - tear)

A hardy will often wear better and suffer less knob tear. But in my opinion, in the Vic High country terrain, they still grip shithouse overall.

I’ve tried most, but not all of the tyre brands and models. In my mind, it’s all about compromise. Either it grips, or doesn’t. It lasts, or wears out quickly.

My preference is for a tyre that is in the middle somewhere. Gotta have some grip. It can’t be completely rooted on day one. Gotta be able to get up that muddy hill. Don’t want it to be completely knobless after two days.

The country we ride at Online Off Road Tours can be best described as extremely variable. One minute you’re in low level hard dusty shit, the next in high altitude leaf littered loam, then perhaps snow, then maybe mud, then maybe green grass. How the hell is one tyre supposed to be good at all that?

Truth is, that’s an enormous ask of any tyre.

My thoughts after a number of years of checking the options are that the best tyre is one that:

1. Grips fairly well in soft terrain
2. Deesn’t fall apart in rocks

Such a tyre will help you to stay upright and see you through a decent weekend ride.

If you’re expecting exceptionally more life from your back tyre, it’s probably made of won’t - grip.

Lest talk specifics.

A Michelin S12 is a highly regarded tyre in Victoria’s soft - wet south. Awesome grip, no doubt.

Bring one along on the rear of your steed on one of our tours and this is what they look like after stuff all K’s!

This tyre was brand new at the start of our Groggin trip. It did around 150 k’s on day one, none of it that rocky or nasty, followed by a short grasstrack practice session on day two and about a 60 km ride up high in the hills. It started to fall apart badly on day one.

At the end of day three, pretty well all the knobs were gone altogether. Zippo. Nada. Knobless.

Gripless.

I don’t recommend using a Michelin S12 on any of our tours. I’ve seen plenty of them turn up new and end up knobless after a very short time. They are also not cheap, so represent terrible value for use on our rides.

The fact that they grip ace for the first hour or so quickly becomes irrelevant when all the knobs are shredded!

Another option is the retread type of tyre. Personally, for our tours, I regard these as superior to the girly Michelin. At least they can handle rocks and finish a tour with their knobs where they started. Not perfect, and still suffer from complete knob tear, but at least last well. Just don’t expect them to grip in mud.

So it’s not done too bad. No visible signs of knob tear. At only around $80, in my mind it craps all over an S12 for the high country.

Hard terrain IRC’s are about the same as a retread in terms of performance.

Quality might be a little better than a retread, resulting in slightly more grip and better wear. A bit of knob tear going on though.

Bridgestone hard terrains are about the same, perhaps a little better. Still don’t grip in the wet.

This tyre was apparently on about it’s sixth ride, most of that being done in wet old Melbourne with not too many rocks. Good wear, no doubt. Doubts about the grip levels though if it rained.

I’ve ridden on some Motoz tyres and found they were the worst wet weather tyre I had ever used. Fully shit in the slippery stuff. Seemed to last ages, but I didn’t care about that as I had a near collision at every corner.

Motoz have also boasted about how well the tyres go at Finke, but there’s a photo elsewhere on this blog of one on the back of a 250F, near new, with half the knobs missing. So the jury is out on Motoz.

I like to back Aussie gear, which Motoz are, and understand they are in constant development, so hopefully they turn out a competitive product. It could also be that I haven’t tested all their tyres. They may well already have one that goes okay.

I’m sponsored by Pirelli and have been for some years now. I’m the first to admit their tyres don’t work everywhere and some of the models in the range are fairly ordinary in certain terrain.

That said, I’m a huge fan of the MX eXTra rear. It’s a tyre that last fairly well, suffers minimal knob - tear yet grips nearly as well as a softy in the soft stuff. Rare attributes.

It doesn’t last as well as a retread or a hard IRC or a ‘won’t grip itchy - kawa’ or whatever you run, however I get two or three tours out of each one. This is the rear I took to Groggin, at home after the tour. It had also done another full tour and a bit of pre - touring, in some rocky terrain.

Guide Wayno previously used Dunlop 756’s. Now he uses the Pirelli. He reports that he used to get 1500 k’s from a rear 756 before it was fully rooted. He only gets around 1100 k’s from the Pirelli.

The difference is in grip, expecially when cornering. Wayno reports that the Dunlop would give way when leaned over and want to slide, whereas the Pirelli would grip.

(Ed: Not much grip though with 30 psi in each end, is their Wayno?)

We’re not all the same, but I prefer the ‘thank god it gripped’ thing, to ’shit I’ve crashed’.

It also has another advantage, in that it has robust side walls, enabling you to retain some control when you get a flat.

Some tyres have pissy thin side walls and you know for sure when you’ve got a flat.

I once got a flat on tour, continuing to ride along for several k’s, suspicious that ’something was wrong’ with the back wheel, but not 100% certain I had a flat. This attribute is valuable at times, expecially at places like Finke.

This is not supposed to be a full on tyre comparo. I haven’t included accurate prices. Certain tyres may suit certain riders, perhaps they can access a certain brand at a discount. In that case, of course you’d go for your favourite.

Given a choice, a bloke coming along on one of our tours and wondering what sort of rear tyre to bolt on could do much worse than a Pirelli MX eXTra.

Whatever you choose, avoid a Michelin S12!

Note that this ‘review’ does not compare front tyres. I find that some front tyres have different properties to the equivalent rears.

A good honest example is the MX eXTra. I find they don’t grip as well as the rear and don’t use them on tours. We prefer the grip and durability of the Scorpion XC.

It’s horses for courses though, as Paul Broomfield, gun MXer, raved about the eXTra front in ADB a little while back. He’s Sydney based and would ride mostly on hard terrain MX tracks, quite different from the terrain our tours are run in.

Bias Factor: I’ve been with Pirelli for years. However I chose them. I liked the levels of grip provided by their tyres and approached them to do a deal. I’ve stuck my neck out here and hung shit on their MT18. I reckon I’m unbiased enough to make an honest appraisal based on a number of years of first hand experience on tour.

Honda’s resident tech guru, Pip Harrison, helped me out at a two day coaching event I ran for the Department of Sustainability and Environment Thursday and Friday.

As well as assistant - coaching for the morning, Pip ran a tech info session after lunch, that included details on how to do a pre and post ride inspection.

I’m always learning that I’m always learning and as usual I learnt some new stuff from the Baghwan.

If you’re adjusting spoke tension, do every third spoke. That way, you’re adjusting spokes from either side of the wheel in order, so you are less likely to throw your wheel out of whack.

There are an even number of spokes, so eventually you get to them doing every third one.

What sort of oil can I use in my bike?

Well, that’s got simpler recently. Car oils were graded in a complex manner, with terms such as SG and the like.

Now, for bikes, most oil manufacturers have adopted two codes: MA and MB.

MA can be used in any bike. Any bike. It will be okay on the gearbox side of a split system too, like Honda and now KTM (Ed: smart copy that) use.

MB is slipperier oil that contains molybdenum
(Ed: molib - den - um, not ‘moly - b - denum’)

The extra slippery factor of the moly means that oil may not be suitable for use in your clutch and could result in it slipping and burning out.

I checked on the back of the one litre bottles of Castrol GPS I use (which is synthetic fortified, not full synthetic) and it had an MA symbol printed on the container.

GPS could be used in both engine and gearbox on a CRF.

So, if you want to be safe, simply use MA branded oil.

Check you manual if you want to use MB to ensure it’s suitable.

Yet again, Groggin was choice. It wasn’t a perfect trip, as the drought forced some dust on us in places. Customer Grant from the ACT fell off in the first fifteen minutes, requiring a trip to a hospital or two to repair what was likely a busted collarbone. However all things considered, Groggin is an unreal joint to visit and we had a ball.

Grant hit a log and the dirt shortly thereafter. Luckily, we prepare for such problems and have an abundance of resources to fix them. This tour saw a total of ten support staff. Five riding guides, Rowan the High Country expert in the 4WD with Rita the Ambo as passenger, Chef Cheryl with the scrumptious fare in the Troopy, Matty and Jock with another 4WD and trailer transporting gear up the blacktop.

It’s little wonder we don’t make any money, however it means we can well cater for the odd problem. So when Grant pranged, we were spread out over about ten k’s. We put our GME uhf’s to good use and planned to leave sweep Harro with Grant, whilst Rowan and Rita summonsed the Ambulance.

Eventually, the ambulance arrived and took Grant away, leaving Harro to ride back to base, pick up his 4WD (that made four at Groggin) and cart his bike up the Alpine Way to meet us at the station later that arvo.

It held us up a little and we had to miss out on a couple of great tracks due to the time lost, but we still motored into Groggin before dark.

Cheryl laid on 31 enormous eye fillet steaks (cooked to your liking on order) that kept us all happy.

Jock and Matty had prepared a medium sized fire (as far as Groggin fires go, the new customers thought it was huge) and we bench raced day one for a while, before all crashing out to bed fairly early, fatigued.

Day two saw us flailing about on the bright green traction – less grass in the paddock we used to run a rider training session.

We practiced ‘control – control’, whilst performing drills such as slow riding, slow circles, wheelies and cornering.

We finished with the traditional Groggin barrel racing competition, which saw many of the new found skills go right out the window, as blokes saw only the red mist in their quest to be the winner. The winners actually stayed upright.

After a grouse schnitzel and salad lunch:

we blasted up to the top of Mts Pinnibar, Gibbo and Anderson for a look – see. Getting up high meant loamy tracks and no dust. It was an awesome blast which blokes were raving about.

Later in the day, some of us went four a 4WD to check out the adjacent Tom Groggin public camping area, where there were roos and emus everywhere.

Monty and Nick kept us entertained with their word perfect recitals of every comedy every made.

The Sunday roast was huge. Lamb and pork that melted in your mouth, accompanied by honey glazed carrots, garlic broccoli and an ace potato dish, plus more.

Monday was a real bummer, ‘cause we had to leave. However, we’d saved the best tracks for last. The trip home was without dusty transport sections and included some technical loamy stuff that allowed some motocross skills to break out.

Wayno and Don had been cheeky and jammed an empty beer can into my airbox. I discovered the rattling present and set about revenge.

Ironically, it started to rain about half an hour out from home and we came back to Rowan’s yard for a late lunch wet.

Hi Rod,

Even I knew about the horn business!

If a guy’s horn isn’t working there are two things I would check:

1) the wires are hooked up. The wires frequently get knocked off on my horn particularly when it has been worked on ie. tank off type work

2) I bought a second hand horn to put on a 230 and it wouldn’t work. I adjusted the magic screw and away she went. You can tune them to make some really cool noises.

I have resisted the temptation to make light of references to horns, screwing and being worked on.

Also, I have never ever heard you use your horn in the bush, maybe you found out about it when someone passed you?

Have a great trip to Groggin this weekend. I will see you at Buller – that is if you still have my name on the list.

Regards,

Paul

I know a certain Husaberg rider nicknamed ‘porn star’ who will immediately think below the belt on this one. However I’m talking about the other horn.

I use the horn on my bike a bit, as a safety device. When I’m coming up to pass other riders, I like to warn them of my presence by giving a little beep.

Lately, my horn has been sounding like a sick goat, with a blocked nose and in need of some soothers. It’s pitifully bleak blluuuueeeeuuuiiuuuu has left me virtually horn less.

Well, today I was pre - touring my bike when I spotted the little philips head screw on the back of the horn.

I started the bike and gave it a twirl with a screwdriver. To my delight, I was able to tune up my horn to deliver a far more powerful and manly blast.

I thought I may have been the only dufus out there who’d never tweaked his horn, but then Don came round and confessed he’d not tweaked his either.

So, if your horn’s a bit soft and won’t blow properly - tweak it up!

Well, I made an interesting call to chain gang today to discuss their cracked rear sprocket.

They were surprised the sprocket had cracked and reported other guys getting 10,000 k’s from the same sprockets.

They were great to talk to, friendly etc., but dropped the bombshell that they will be closing their doors at the end of the year. Why?

Not because of quality control with cracked sprockets.

Cheap chinese imports and e - bay.

Chinese imports are of lower quality, both in terms of steel quality and quality control. No doubt about either at this stage in my mind.

I used a couple of steel cheapos (name brand ones you buy from a bike shop) at Finke this year. Not only did they exhibit wear at the teeth in a fairly short space of time (paticularly compared to the chain gang sprocket) but the bastards weren’t round!

How do I know that? I picked it up when the chain tension seemed to vary each time I checked it. I set it once, then next time I checked it, found it to be really tight. It depended on where the out of round rear sprocket was positioned as it turns out.

Quality stuff like chain gang costs extra bucks up front. No doubt there. In the long run though, I’m a big supporter of purchasing not only quality items, but especially Australian made items. Next best is at least items imported by an Australian company.

Chain gang have been beaten out of business by blokes who are opting for the ‘bargain’ of a cheap initial purchase.

Like guys who surf e bay buying their stuff from the states.

They save money in the short term perhaps, but what is happening long term? The local motorcycling industry is suffering, that’s what.

Australian Importers sell less stuff. Then they have to lay off staff. They might even shut up shop.

One less place for your kids to get a job.

Ditto bike shops, who are selling less accessories than before, due to e - bay and competition from chinese crap.

Where are you gonna go in future when you need some assistance with your bike, when the local shops have shut down? Fat lot of good that couple of hundred bucks you saved on e bay is gonna do you then. Nowhere to spend it, or now you’ve gotta pay for more time and fuel to spend it at a shop further away.

Humans are prone to being short sighted and selfishly looking after themselves without giving thought to the lot of the future.

Think about this for a while, then consider how you’d feel if your business went down the poo shute because of chinese crap, e bay and the shallow thought processes of bike riders.

E bay has it’s place and I use it from time to time. It’s a great place to source hard to find parts for my old troop carrier.

I’ll not use it again though to buy anything from another country.

Discovered today when casting a pre - tour eye over the bike.

I don’t remember smacking anything and haven’t crashed (at least I don’t remember a noteworthy one) There’s no other damage in the vicinity of the back wheel and the chain seems unmolested. The bolts holding the sprocket to the hub are still tight.

Bugger. It was doing so well at around 4000 k’s.

I’ll call the Chain Gang guru’s and see what they think.

Life as a tour guide is not all beer and skittles. That seems to be old person speak for getting pissed whilst ten pin bowling.

Whilst in some ways we’re “livin’ the dream", in other ways we’re putting in hours of work to make sure your trips pan out in the best possible manner.

All tours need a pre - tour of some manner. New tours need several lengthy trips, starting with perhaps a four wheel drive trip or two, then moving on to some days on the bikes, then most likely some more time in the 4WD and on foot with the chainsaw.

Others, like Groggin, need not quite so much work these days. That area is Rowan and Harro’s back yard and between them they spend a fair bit of time of there, either four wheel driving, riding bikes or trying to kill things (moose type things) with big - bore rifles.

Also, we can get some feedback from Trevor and family at Groggin regarding local conditions via the phone.

However, the high country is the high country. Some parts are inaccessible in winter due to snow and water, meaning no visitors of any kind to clear fallen limbs and trees.

Do the DSE or Parks Victoria immediately rush out in Spring when the sun comes out and clear all the tracks? Fat chance, there ain’t enough of them and stuff all money to do the tasks most of us think they should be doing, such as blackberry control, let alone being all over every fallen tree in the scrub.

Luckily we can all use a chainsaw at least a bit.

There’s usually more than one tree down.

This sucker did something I’d never seen. Rowan cut a bit, but the saw got stuck in the log. (Ed: first time I’ve seen that happen to Rowan, who hangs off a saw for a living, happens to me a fair bit more)

So we chain the log up and connected a snatchum to the Tojo and gave her a tug. The jagging was enough for Rowan to pull the saw out of the jam.

The jagging dislodged the enormous Alpine Ash and the bastard started sliding down the hill. Not just a little bit, but the whole bloody enormous tree. With me sitting in the Toyota which was still attached to the thing via the strap! Shit - f%$k!!!!

Luckily ‘hoon was right onto it and yelled at me to reverse up (Ed: he said that more than once, loudly, probably ‘cause I was in his truck) and when I did, putting some slack in the strap, he pulled it off the tow ball.

Heaps of tons of Woollybutt (Ed: another name of Alpine Ash) sliding down a steep hill is way tougher than a couple of tons of Toyota.

Anyway, at day’s end we reckon’ we’ve got the tracks right to go, as long as the weather and the trees don’t conspire against us in the meantime.

By the way, see how Rowan is dressed only lightly and the sun is out in parts?

Remember me mentioning that the high country and particularly the peaks are unforgiving and can turn nasty with little warning?

This is what is had been like 30 minutes earlier on Pinnibar!

Rowan had planned a sunny morning tea with views on the famous mountain, but after posing for this quick photo in the snow, changed his mind.

Three fingers, two fingers at the slider, four fingers in the middle - there are a few different bits of advice floating about regarding how tight a chain should be.

We’ll, I’ve got the low - down on how to check if it’s too tight. The chain you idiot.

The chain is at it’s tightest when the centre of the front sprocket, swingarm pivot and rear axle are all in a straight line. In practice, this usually occurs on modern bikes only when the suspension is partly compressed.

The angle of the swingarm varies from bike to bike, meaning the variation in chain tension differs from bike type to bike type. KTMs of course are somewhat wierd and seem to need to run a loose chain on the stand.

However, my method works on any bike, no matter what brand or model.

So, lay (Ed: excuse the pun) your guts on the seat and make the chain as tight as it is ever going to be by lining those three things up. Then check the tension.

Grab the chain between your fingers and move it up and down. When doing this, the chain needs to have a little free play, meaning that it’s not tight like a guide rope. It must feel like the chain is not so taut that it’s being already stretched.

This way, you can get the tension perfect and avoid an over - loose chain as well as an over tight chain. Remember that over - loose chains can flog about and actually chew out the side knobs on your back tyre.

In practice, I find a lot of blokes run their chains too tight, but never perform the above check to work it out. Overly tight chains wear out plenty faster (stretch like buggery when the suspension goes up and down) and also put extra pressure on the countershaft bearings (Ed: bad - if they go the motor has to come apart big time).

Dirt bike wheels have to be a little flexible, otherwise they’d crash and fall apart with the torture we put them through (Ed: Imagine waking up one day and you’d been reborn as Jock’s wheels!!!!!).

Spokes have the enviable job of keeping the rim an orderly distance from your hub and when you rudely bash your wheel into a relatively immovable part of the earth’s crust, at times your rim moves and alters the tension of the spokes nearest it.

Got a visible dent in your rim? Not much doubt in my mind that the spokes in the vicinity of the dent are looser than those around them, unless you’ve tendered to their desire to be tighter. Allright, I’ve gone too far, the inanimate spoke has no desire. It’s you who should have the desire. The desire to make your bike run better, be more reliable and less prone to major failure and the resultant cost issues.

Inattention to spoke tension can result eventually in buckled wheels, handling problems and complete failure of the hub and wheel, so pay attention.

I adjust the spokes using the ear method. Take your spoke spanner (Ed: the factory Honda one supplied with the bike fits better than the multi - sized one I bought a few years ago) and hit it against the middle of the spoke with one hand.

Note the noise that it makes. If you’re starting out and not used to interpreting the noises made yet, continue on to test every spoke on both sides of the wheel.

A well tensioned spoke on the back wheel will make a definite ‘ting’. Not a dull ‘thud’. Dull thud is too loose. The tightest spoke may well be at the right tension, however sometimes will be too tight, especially if it’s in the vicinity of a dent. Don’t be confused just yet as to how tight they need to be, just work at eliminating the dull thuds and getting every spoke to sound the same when you hit it with the spanner.

That’s the secret, they should all ‘ting’ about the same.

One tip I have for you that you may not be onto is to hit the spokes at the 12 o’clock point. Hit at 12, then rotate the wheel so the next one is near 12 before hitting it again. Why?

Dirt and crap gets into the nipple/spoke threaded section and if you hit the spoke at 12 o’clock, you’ll help it to fall out and avoid driving it even further into the nipple.

This will help (Ed: not eliminate, but help) to avoid the dreaded ‘bastard nipple won’t turn’ and ’shit, I’ve rounded the nipple’.

Another good reason for taking the time to ‘ting test’ every spoke every now and then.

I test mine at least prior to every tour and after every ‘oh my god’ involving a big rock or enormous launch off a spoonie at stupid speeds. (Ed: slow down, you peanut).

For you photo heads, the above photo was taken with the camera set to macro and the flash on. The controls were set to auto, and I don’t care what the shutter speed or aperture was, ‘cause it worked fine.

I had trouble getting the auto focus to focus on the spoke nipple, so I just pointed it at the nearby tyre and it was able to lock in on that. The nipple focussing attempts saw it locking in on the esky in the background instead.

I tried to put a piece of white paper behind the spoke to better pick up the dirt, however as it turns out it seems the flash was making the particles too light to show up well on the white paper, so I went back to plan A.

Now, note that the front spokes are longer and will not ‘ting’ nearly as highly a pitch as the rear spokes. So, repeat the ‘test the lot’ drill and work out what the ‘best uniform front ting’ should sound like.

‘I can wobble it like crazy with my hand’ is too loose, even if the nipple seems tight and won’t turn. Try to wobble the other spokes by hand, if they don’t wobbly like crazy, then the first spoke you tried is too loose.

You can try to unfreeze a stuck nipple first by banging it at 12 o’clock to try to dislodge trapped dirt. You could also try compressed air. If still stubborn, try using WD40 or the Castrol equivalent (Ed: Blatant sponsor plug). Spray this stuff on using the little plastic nozzle and with the spoke at 12 o’clock first, then perhaps at 6, so it can soak in.

Last words of advice - take you time adjusting spokes. Nipples are mostly made of soft aluminium and very easy to bugger. Make sure the spoke spanner is properly located on the nipple before you try to turn it.

Spoke threads are clockwise, so if the nipple is at 12 o’clock, you’ll be turning the spanner from right to left to tighten it.

Adjust each loose spoke only a little at a time. Don’t go bananas and tighten the bejeezus out of the first looshish one you find. Tighten it a little, perhaps quarter or half a turn only, then move onto checking the next one.

KTM’s have stupid sized nipples that you’ll need a KTM specific spoke spanner for.

Wayno’s nipple got bitten by a monkey in Bali.

Chains have come a long way and sees improved metallurgy partnering with better design in the form of o - rings giving us fairly bullet proof running gear.

How many o - ring chains have you ever seen broken? On tour, we’ve had one from six or so years of bulk bikes in the bush in unforgiving terrain. And that one episode was probably the owner’s fault, as we discovered post - disaster in the middle of nowhere that old mate had not done the back axle nut up tight.

Still, tough as a DID is, the bloody things still wear out. A good trick to extending the life of the chain and sprocket combo is to change the front sprocket part way through the life of the whole shebang, just prior to it curling it’s teeth over badly itself.

See, the front sprocket wears much quicker than the rear sprocket or chain. It has to use only a small amount of teeth, compared to the rear, with much less mechanical advantage (compared to the larger rear) to transfer all the power from your motor to the back wheel. So each tooth on the front has to bear a fair bit of heartache when you’re grinning like an idiot and giving her the berries.

Same under deceleration.

You’ll have noticed how the teeth on the front sprocket ‘curl over’.

This sprocket is on it’s way out and I’m going to replace it before it prematurely damages the chain and in turn the rear sprocket.

You see, it will no longer fit as snugly between the links in the chain. The slack created by the missing metal on the ‘front’ side will generate more slack between the sprocket and the chain.

So each time you get on and off the gas, the sprocket is not connecting with the chain nicely, and in fact will tend to bash into each link with a thud instead of connecting in a smooth manner.

This has got to stress the chain and in fact try to force the links apart, resulting in chain stretch, the reason we have to adjust the things from time to time.

The ‘curl’ on the teeth can’t be doing the chain much good either.

If we leave it like this, the front sprocket will damage the chain, which will then chew out the rear sprocket prematurely. All this costs big bucks. A chain is what, about $150. A rear sprocket, $70 to $150?

A front sprocket is much, much cheaper, so when they start to look like this, chuck them at the metal recycler (it’s all worth bucks now and helps the environment)and put a new one on.

You don’t have to take the chain right off to replace a front sprocket. Just take the axle out, push the back wheel forward (putting your knee/leg under/against the back wheel from behind the bike is the go as you take the axle out), then feed some slack chain up towards the front sprocket.

Remember to loosen the front sprocket bolt before you take the back axle out. Put the bike in first gear and the motor’s compression should be enough to enable you to loosen the bolt.

Feed the new sprocket back onto the shaft, put it all back together and enjoy the beers you can now afford to buy, with the savings from the extra life you’ll get out of the chain and sprocket combo.

How is the Chain Gang rear sprocket I put on earlier this year going?

1800 of those K’s were at Finke too, where it got lubricated not once. Plenty has been in mud. The charity bash mud was rudely sticky and took ages to clean off, even with the pressure washer at full noise.

The chain gang sprocket was in my mind a wise investment.

Monty has been O/S, taking in the sights at Bali.

Whilst there, he fed some monkeys. Dunno what he fed them……….

Wayno’s been to Bali a few times. Before he went, the Doc said ‘you should be right, but whatever you do don’t get bitten by a Monkey’.

So, he’s there about thirty nano - seconds, when some evil primate punches the shit out of him by smacking him to the head repeatedly, then bites him on the nipple, drawing blood.

Now I understand what the Ebolavirus does to your behaviour.

Monty has been practicing his photograph skills too.

He’s apparently come back even fatter round the guts than normal, but luckily he has one of those government jobs where you can apparently go the gym each day.

Groggin is on in two weeks. I’m itching to get out there. Mt Pinnibar is still covered in snow and unless it stays hot, we’ll be having an abominable snowman competition on bikes.

Rowan is making a comeback from injury. Not straight back on the ball, only to a flank. He’ll be driving Harro’s recently souped up Toyota with Rita to keep us fueled and fed.

Harro is apparently going to ride.

Wayno is already making threats about the fishing competition. A couple of years ago, on a countback and amid controversy and rumours of shop - bought fish frozen and thawed for the weigh - in, the prick knocked me off by a short half fin.

Getting beaten by an upstart like Wayno is not my idea of fishing bliss, so I’ve been practicing. Cheryl and I went camping on the Kiewa last night, in beautiful conditions. The fish were fit and healthy.

Wayno has even gone and bought some new gear to try to get an advantage, but this year, I reckon you’re going down old fella. Bring it on, Wayno.

The latest Trailrider magazine, issue #24, Oct/Nov 2008, has a story on my Finke trip. Tuffy (Stephen Tuff - editor) cut and pasted most of the words from this blog, adding a few of his own.

I can see this story costing me big time on tour. I’m already the butt of many jokes and get some strange things written on my name tag sticker each tour, but I’ve got a feeling the whole ‘Mountain Man’ thing is gonna come back to haunt me.

The Yack Charity Bash story will be in the next issue, due out mid November.

For the first time ever, last weekend we ran a two day tour based at Yackandandah.
In the past, due to potential conflict with my 9 to 5 job and bike riders on the piss, I gave staying at Yack a miss. However, the Eskdale Hotel made a minor mistake with the recent change of ownership and double booked their accommodation for the weekend.

Online Off Road Tours was not the name in their book.

So, a quick call confirmed the Yackandandah Hotel had room for us and away we went.
As it turned out, the tour was great and I had nothing to worry about.

We had a few issues that prevented much photography, so I’ve got little to show you. What I do remember was some challenging tracks never done on a tour on day one, followed by some rain and the Stanley forest in pristine condition on day two.

Rita had to work and our new stand in assistant Michelle was well and truly up to the task, helping Cheryl out at Mt Jack with a good feed on Saturday.

Harro rode for a little while, then reckons he had some sort of crash that disabled his wing. We were all wondering whether he actually goes fast enough to get any soft tissue damage, but he seemed to be struggling so we let him play as food – girl assistant for day two.

New assistants Wayno and Don worked out well, doing a good job. I set Wayno up initially with an enormous rock I hid in his Camelbak. I had to lube it up to get it in it was that big, but the dopey bastard didn’t even realise his bag weighed an extra six kilos! He must be related to Schapelle Corby.

Billy felt sorry for him later on and lagged me in. Wayno’s always up for a trade and I didn’t realise he’d put the same bloody rock between my swingarm and back tyre until the CRF ground to a halt up the road a bit, the rock having worn the new Pirelli down a treat. We’d swapped the dopey bastard tag and it seemed at this stage we were about even.

He later tried to rock my Camelbak in a double payback, but he used insufficient stealth and my spies were onto him. I removed the rock, but will have to be on the lookout for 35 psi in my back tyre from now on.

Saturday night was a classic at the pub. There was a hen’s night, with all these little hotties dressed up as Hugh Hefner’s prodigy, complete with pink bunny ears, short skirts and Playboy t – shirts. They had this game, so that when the whistle blew, they all had to hit the deck to avoid some sort of fine. That’s when we worked out some weren’t wearing nickers.

Don and Wayno showed true steel in resisting the pantie – less lasses attempts to get them both onto the bus en route to rudes - ville.

As if that wasn’t enough, the Yackandandah netball team were celebrating their grand final win and decided to get plastered, before running up and down the main street with the top halves of their clothing nowhere to be seen.

Sunday morning saw some suspect looking heads emerge from the hotel beds (Blue was by far the worst). An enormous breakfast helped, as did some overnight rain. The Stanley forest is my back yard and though I’ve ‘done it a million times’ I can’t help but continue to enjoy it. Those slippery single trail style loops around the pines are just the best.

We finished up with an all out attack on ‘Infinity’ (rudely steep and rough hill), which saw us all to the top in one fashion or another, some assisted by others with pushing or riding their bikes up. ‘Candice Bergman’ showed us all how to do it by sensationally looping his big bored 650 Berg only metres from the whole group near the hilltop. He had it, then lost it, then had it, then stuffed it right up with an uncontrolled fist full of 650, which of course saw it spear into NASA’s airspace at speed, with a cool loop.

He made up for it by conquering the evilest part of the next hill ‘Long Tom’ along with the grunty Husky 510. Most of us just sat back and laughed at the carnage as other blokes floundered at the 40 foot mark of the several hundred foot easier climb next door.

All in all, it was a fun tour, with great tracks and good blokes, right in my backyard. I think we’ll do it again.

Some stinking rabbit gave my computer the equivalent of the calicivirus. That’s the evil one that kills rabbits.

A weasily little ‘trojan’ and 230 of his bastard mates wreaked havoc on my hard drives. I think the Ebolavirus got a run and I’m suspicious about the pox. My LCD screen has a nasty rash. All up, about $400 worth of havoc.

Luckily I was able to save all my data, but had to junk all the software and reload the lot. Easier than it sounds in this day and age of piracy!

I’m still having trouble sending e mails, so if you’re waiting for a reply on a tour of coaching day, be patient.

G’day guys. Warwick from Standard Communications contacted me today and informed me about an EPIRB up for auction on e bay.

An EPIRB is an emergency position indicating radio beacon.
They notify the emergency services of your position in no time flat when you set them off and are definate lifesavers. Personally, I think there should be at least one amongst every group of trail riders.

A mate of Warwick’s is raising money for charity and GME have donated one of their beacons to help out. They retail for $649 and at the moment the high bid on e bay is only $100!

It’s the same beacon that I use and identical to the one that successfully summonsed the emergency services for the bloke who had a stick jammed into his boot. That story is under ‘Epirb goes off for stick - man’ elsewhere on this blog.

They’re not just for trail riding and of course can be used anywhere, whatever you’re doing. Good insurance for your kids. They work pretty well anywhere and don’t rely on mobile coverage to exist.

By the way, did you know you can search the blog for the story you want via key words? The search option is right in front of you, so if you want to look at a story on say a GME Epirb or UHF, the bash that into the search bar and the stories containing those words should appear.

So, if you’ve currently got no EPIRB but even half a brain, then check this link out and get yourself a bargain!

http://cgi.ebay.com.au:80/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=260283219221

Number 35 is a KTM 450 EXC, 2006 model. The plain bike is a 2004 model of the same thing.

Neither have turned up. We’ve been following some half -arsed leads so far that have lead us nowhere.

If you know or have heard something, let us know please. Dave is offering $1000 reward for info that leads to their recovery! Come on, dob in that thieving bastard.

In a move that proves that thieves are dumb bastards, Dave has had not just one, but two orange things stolen from his shed at Albury. Bike thieves are pond - slime and I’d like your help to help Dave recover his much - loved KTM’s.

The above bike is registered in NSW as SMY19 and had the yellow and black rego plate on it when nicked. The above shot shows Dave at the Charity bash.

Yes Tuffy, you’ve snuck into the background of another photo. At least your Honda gives this blog story some street cred.

Even though I think that all KTM owners are somewhat deranged and Dave particularly so since he owns two of them, I have a far lower regard for bikes thieves.

Did you know that whilst most stolen cars are recovered in this country, only a paltry amount of bikes (13% I think) are ever found and returned to the owners?

His second bike was also in pretty good nick. It wasn’t distinctive, apart from being this ugly orange colour.

The cops at Albury are typically badly under - resourced and have little time to devote to finding stolen dirt bikes. Please keep an eye and ear open for Dave’s ugly orange things for us so he can come riding with us again one day.

I’m a half - sucked - twistie and feel the cold. No body fat at all to help really. This is great at times, like summer, but crap at other times, like winter. Due to my intense hatred of dust, even more than the cold, my dirt bike riding is a true winter sport by choice.

As a result, I suffer from ’shit - my - hands - are - cold - wish - I - had - heated - grips - itis’. Real bad at times, so much so that I don’t enjoy the ride.

Not everyone suffers this issue, however I have noticed that at times on our tours just about everyone at some stage is suffering and obviously wishes they had heated grips.

Heated grips however are a bit of pain in the arse. They’re a bit fiddly to fit and there is some electrickery involved. Not too much, but too much for dumb bastards with sparks like me. Plus, when you swap bikes as much as I do on the trail, I’d end up riding without them anyway quite often. When you get a new bike, it’s just another thing to add to the lengthy set - up list of things to do.

I think I’ve found a better solution. The Alpinestars Drystar Chill glove.

I’ve worn these on and off on a number rides with awesome results. There is no doubt that they are the best performing extreme cold weather glove I’ve ever worn. If your hands are still cold in these, you may be dead.

Part of the secret is the liner. The secret to cold weather clothing is in layers. Outer weather proof shell with inner warm liners is the go for snow gear. A star have used the same theory here. The outer shell is made of ‘polyamide’, which I reckon is this water resistant stuff sort of like nylon and sort of like gore tex. As well, there’s some of that neoprene stuff thrown in as well, like wetsuit material but thin

Then there’s the liner, which is like a ‘glove inside the glove’. It’s made of polyester, which is soft and warm.

How do they perform? Compared to a normal set of gloves, they’re like a motel. Previously intolerable transport sections are now no problem at all. I have not suffered cold hands once wearing these gloves, even when riding in crappy conditions in the snow.

They do take a little getting used to though. Since they have an inner layer, there’s a bit of movement or slipping to get your head around. The inner layer slides against the outer layer a little, meaning you don’t have quite so much feel at the lever as you’d be used to.

My take on that is simple. Previously I had blue hands, stuff all feeling and stuff all control at the levers, compromising both the fun factor and my level of safety. These gloves remedy that and I’m able to safely enjoy my winter riding.

I don’t wear them everywhere, only when it’s really cold. I carry them in my Camelbak and swap them for the MX gloves when appropriate.

Value? This is the good bit. They retail at only $59.95, which I reckon is great value.

Comparison to other products available? I’ve worn a set of shift cold weather gloves for a while. They were a different kettle of fish, being made of heavier neoprene or similar and without an inner liner. I recently saw Tuffy wearing a similar product at the Yack Charity bash. Whilst the Shift gloves were a bit of an improvement on the standard mx gloves, they had nothing like the performance of these A star units. The Shift gloves did have better feel at the levers as a result though. I put paid to them when I burnt a hole in them, rubbing them against my exhaust pipe trying to keep my hands warm! I won’t have to put these A stars anywhere near the Pro Circuit so burning holes should not be an issue.

Bias factor? Mild. I’ve got a deal with A star and wear their boots. I also used to wear their riding gear. I think all their stuff is good quality.

However, that said, apart from snow gloves, I’ve not seem a product similar to this on the market for dirt bikes. These gloves will keep your hands warm when all other dirt bike gloves will leave you shivering. I love riding in the high country in winter, so in my mind it’s a no brainer, I need a set of these gloves and don’t really care who makes them.

What? What is Rod on about? What has a GT Falcon got to do with riding a dirt bike?

Bugger all, but a little, as it turns out.

I was out in the Stanley Forest today and came across some ‘hoons’ testing their ‘rally car’. I’d had a complaint from a member of the public about some guys wearing helmets, driving ’some old Ford’ and they were concerned they were hoons.

I eventually found the ‘hoons’. It turned out to be Brian Reed and his famous KAG001, which is a genuine 1967 Ford XTGT factory Ford rally team car. He was out doing some final sorting of the beast prior to an upcoming rally in the Territory and outback Queensland region.

I’m a true Holden fan, but this thing was trick. It had the 289 V8 (complete with 230HP badges and many mods specific for rallying, including a 2 - point - stuff - all diff that saw it need plenty of clutch to take off but surely had a mean top end, top loader 4 speed and 9 inch diff). I’m spewing I didn’t take a photo.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing this is because the vehicle is still being used. Much loved and cared for, but used as it was designed and built 40 years ago, as a rally car.

What is a genuine factory Ford rally team XTGT worth? Anything genuine GT is worth a squillion these days. Genuine Ford race team, one of only three in existence, still in ace nick? Hundreds of thousands of dollars?

The rear tyres told the story. There was stuff all tread left on the off road rubber and they’d been giving it the berries. Good to see I reckon. Without being dangerous or stupid or breaking rules, they were out using a crazily expensive car in the manner in which it should be.

The link to dirt bikes?

Their mechanic was none other than Wodonga spanner spinner Keith Tidy, who was our mechanic at the Finke Desert Race. I stirred Keith up a bit, telling him that there was no way their rally car was roadworthy.

But in the grand scheme, who was I to tell them that the number plate bolted to the bonnet of their 40 year old factory Ford racer was unroadworthy? Good luck in the outback gents.

I spent yesterday at the State Motorcycle Complex at Broadford, running a rider coaching day for the Department of Sustainability and Environment.

The Statewide Trailbike Project has funded a number of dirt bikes for their staff to ride. Their plan is to head out into the bush, principally in areas where dirt bikes cause problems and attempt to help resolve those problems, through not just enforcement but also education.

I think it’s a great idea and will hopefully be another step forward to sustainability for our sport.

Anyway, they wanted some tips on trail riding before they headed out and I got the job.

The day reminded me clearly of the benefits in receiving some coaching. Ours is one of the few sports that seems to involve little coaching in proper technique from an early age.

To become a footy player, they don’t just turn you out onto the oval with a footy, some boots, jumper and the smell of linament with a ‘the harder you go the better mate.’

Nah, you get the whole ‘laces facing up, ball over your preferred kicking foot, guide the ball down with one hand, eyes on the ball, smooth swing and follow through’ and other advice about skills other than kicking, over and over in different scenarios, until you’ve got it right.

Not bikes, even though they offer some much danger. How was the rider training you got when you bought your last bike? Non - existant. How was the rider training manual you got? A bit thin?

The truth is that motorcycling is made up of a series of individual skills that we need to link together smoothly to ride safely and without some instruction from someone else, it’s almost impossible to reach your peak ability.

You can’t see yourself ride, so it’s hard to coach yourself. You need someone who has some idea to point out your mistakes.

Sure, some freaks can just do it and become world champions without help, but they must be born with freakish attributes, such as above average vision and judgement. Normal people need assistance.

Some of the DSE guys could ride quite well. Others hadn’t ridden for some time and had fairly basic skills.

I start with the basics at all rider training days, no matter how good the riders think they are. Getting the basics right is paramount to success.

In my mind, it’s all about ‘control - control’. You need to understand the way that the acceleration and retardating devices (throttle, clutch and brakes) can work, then be able to coordinate their use at the same time, without having to hardly think about what you’re doing. It must come as second nature, which will give you time to properly focus on where you’re going and how you intend to get there.

I plan to put together a coaching manual and might even post it here, but right now won’t go into the how - to’s in detail.

We did a couple of hours of clutch/throttle/brake control exercises, then a bit of cornering, before attacking some trail bike specific skills, such as how to go up and down hills, how to safely stop on a hill, turn the bike around and head back down, how to tackle ruts and more.

The final session was a blast on a small loop of loamy but very technical grass track. The terrain was steep, with some challenging off camber corners, some open paddock loamy thumpernats stuff just waiting to be roosted and some fairly ugly rutted single trail in between.

It had pissed rain the day before and the terrain was made of ‘won’t grip’. At the start of the day, several of the riders would have been completely incapable of navigating what was truly a difficult and technical track, without using their heads for traction.

At the end of the day though, all were able to get around and some were managing wheelstands and powerslides.

There are not currently sufficient coaching opportunities for trail bike riders. However, many clubs offer some coaching. Even motocross coaching schools are of significant benefit to a trail rider, as most of the skills transfer straight across.

I reckon everyone should at least once have a go at a coaching school. The skills learnt should help to make your riding smoother and safer. Faster is nearly always an added bonus.

The faster you go, within sensible paramaters, the more you are able to use what I call the ‘Carmichael factor’. RC goes so fast that he only hits about one quarter of the bumps you and I would! So, for the same amount of physical input, he is hitting far fewer strength - sapping and potential crash - causing obstacles, enabling him to over time cover ground much faster than others.

Now RC is one of those eagle - visioned freaks I mentioned before. However the theory is sound and you only have to go and watch a beginner trail rider, bumbling along in first gear, trying to get up that ‘killer hill’, blundering from near collision to near collision with each rock, root or rut to realise Ricky is onto something. He’d hit the bottom of the hill in third, use a small bump to clear the first few rock steps, smoothly coordinate the throttle and clutch to use a rock ledge as another launching pad to blast right over the top without issue in one tenth the time.

With some help, even with baby steps, we can all head in RC’s direction.

(Ed: The Broadford venue is getting better with age. They have improved facilities and are actively purchasing land around them to cement their place and ensure their (and our) future is secure. They are developing minibike riding areas for kids which is a good move. It’s no longer just a road race and motocross venue and in the future has awesome opportunities for other sections of our sport, including trail bike riders)

For a while now, Online Off Road Tour guides have been using some of these Honda branded aluminium radiator guards. They are made for Honda by Force Accessories, who have been on the market for a few years now with quality gear.

A couple of years ago, I bought some Force radiator guards via Ballards and was very impressed with their quality and performance. They were surely tougher than other brands of radiator guards I’d used before.

Those positive attributes have transferred over to the new ‘CRF - racing’ branded Force guards being sold under the Honda banner at your local Honda dealer as genuine accessories for your 250 or 450X.

Fitting was simple. I removed the plastic tank shrouds and the standard white plastic radiator protector thingies. The new guards fitted well.

I found that it was best to put the 6mm (8mm headed) bolts that mount the guards to the frame into their respective holes in the guards before trying to fit them. Otherwise the bolts kept falling out of my T - bar as I tried to line them up with the mount holes, giving me the shits.

Once on top of that, fitting was a breeze. A T - bar or at least a long extension on your 1/2 inch drive socket set is needed, with the tool threaded through the hole in the guard as shown here.

The guards offer excellent protection from sticks and rocks attacking from the front.

They also offer some side impact protection, via the bracing bracket that mounts on the frame behind the radiator.

Once fitted, they look factory.

How much protection do they really offer? Well, they do an awesome job preventing sticks from holing your radiators, no doubt. Glenn Hoffman was telling me at Hattah that a holed radiator cost them the win a couple of years back and now they always use Force radiator guards to prevent a re - occurance.

Side impact protection? Hmmmm. I don’t think that any radiator guards on the market are capable of protecting your radiator terribly well when you smack them hard from a side impact. They will lessen the damage, but not eliminate it.

Radiator problems can be hard to fix in the bush and this product will go a hell of a long way to eliminating those hassles.

They are available from your local Honda dealer (Yeah, Yeah, I know, I don’t have one at the moment. However I understand an announcement is looming) and retail for $179.00.

Value factor? Good I reckon. A rooted radiator is expensive to replace and the grin factor from not having replace one as you just continue to ride without issue is irreplacable.

Bias factor? Hmmm. Slightly biased. I’m obviously Honda orientated and also have recently struck a deal with Force to run both their radiator guards and bash plates on all our tour bikes next year (there’ll be six!). However, that said, I refuse to run poor quality stuff and the fact that I’m prepared to use their products screams loudly that they must be top quality stuff.

Every family seems to have several digital cameras these days. Whilst they have come a long way in terms of performance, size, weight and price, they are not idiot proof. This story is not aimed at the bloke who already knows how to use an SLR (the bigger ones with the removable lenses that cost lots), but your average dude with the modern version of the box brownie. You young blokes might have to ask your dad what that is.

I bet plenty of you struggle to take decent photos of moving motorcycles, with the subject either appearing blurred due to speed or not in focus.

I don’t profess to be an expert, however I studied it a little at high school and I’ve taken tens of thousands of shots of bikes with digital cameras since then. I’ve found that there are a few basic tricks you can do to increase the quality of your artwork.

Ensuring your subject is in focus is primary. Now, digital cameras use auto – focus, which at times doesn’t automatically focus on you’re subject. At times it will focus on what it thinks is the main target. Also, it can take a significant time to auto -focus, resulting in a delay between pressing the button and the camera actually trying to take the shot. That is ridden with pox.

Let’s say you’re on the side of a track, waiting for Wally the Wheelie Whacker to blast on by. If you try to use the camera to auto focus on Wally as he scampers past, it is very difficult for the camera to work out what you want. Where does it focus? On Wally, coming at speed and with a varying range, which means he’s in focus for only a brief moment? It’s rarely quick enough to work out that the speeding Wally is your intended target. The camera is likely to react like the mayor of Hiroshima as Wally flies by. Or it may think that the big tree or rock in the background or foreground is the target, so you could end up with a beautifully focussed lizard on a rock, and a blurry Wally, as it wasn’t ready nor set up for him. And the delay as it thinks about where to focus, let’s not even go there.

To fix this is simple.

Work out where you’d like to take the shot of Wally. Then point your camera at that spot, depressing the shoot button down part of the way only, enough for it to focus there. You should hear a ‘bbbrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggg’ or similar noise as it tells you it’s focussed. Then, hold this position with your trigger finger until you want to shoot.

From this position, holding your trigger finger in the ‘bbbrrrriiiiinnnngggg’ position, you can point the camera wherever you want and it will still be focussing at the distance you set it to, the spot where you want to take Wally’s shot, as long as you don’t move. Of course, if you push a bit harder, it’ll take a shot, so learn trigger control. So now, you can point the camera at Wally as he comes down the track and follow him through the viewfinder, not taking the shot until he gets to your chosen spot, where he’ll be in focus, ‘cause that’s what you told it to do.

This also cuts down the delay significantly, as half it’s thinking has already been done when you finally ask it to do the business and capture the moment.

If your camera spits the dummy and refuses to focus where you want it to (this will be indicated some way on your viewfinder or LCD screen, like a little red light or similar), then remember that focus is all about your distance from the target. So, you can force the camera to focus on something else like a tree, that is a certain distance from you. Then, you can move your arse to a point that is a very similar distance from your ‘Wally’ target spot to you, as compared to the original distance between you and the tree. The camera is a dumb mechanical device and won’t even know you’ve fooled it. Wally won’t know either, he’ll be grinning like an idiot and later simply think you’re a ‘grouse photographer’.

‘Panning’ or following your target has a number of benefits. It helps you to keep Wally centred (or wherever you want him) in the picture. If you’re just still, waiting for him to come past and not following him, it’s hard to be quick enough to catch him in the photo and sometimes all you end up with is a shot of the trees in the background, ‘cause Wally’s wheelied right past you. Other times will see just the dust where he once was, but is no longer.

Also, panning helps to keep Wally’s image sharper, as his speed compared to the camera is lower if you are following him. Less chance of blur.

Okay, enough of my shit. Check out what someone who knows what they’re doing with a decent camera can achieve. Note the shutter speed is 1/80th of a second!
f16 was used and ISO 200.

I would probably struggle to keep an image of Cody Cooper sharp using 1/1000 of a second!

If you want to see more of Graeme’s photography (Ed: I do!) the follow the following link and follow your nose:

http://photo.net/photodb/photo?photo_id=3437861&size=lg

Practice the focus thing. If you look through you viewfinder, or at your LCD screen, your camera will probably have a little square or similar that indicates what it is focussing on when you push the trigger part way down. Unlike old SLR’s, the square is not fixed into the middle of the image you see and can move about, showing up on what it’s going to focus on, not necessarily what’s in the middle of the view you see.

The next important issue is shutter speed. You want to maximise it for moving targets. Set on ‘Auto’, a camera is very lazy and not in tune with your advanced needs regarding moving bikes. If it has a ‘Sport’ setting and you are a very basic photographer, then at least use that. The sport setting attempts to maximize the shutter speed, whilst still allowing enough light in.

You see, the amount of light coming in is vital and more important to the camera than your preferences for shutter speed. That is problematic at times, especially for me, because nearly all my riding is conducted in winter, in the bush, at times under a canopy of trees with grey skies, so there is often not enough light to keep the camera’s demand for light happy whilst running the faster shutter speeds I’d like to. Here’s an example from the bash. Anyone who saw them ride can attest that the Ambos were already probably classable as a ‘blur’. However it was dark and my camera didn’t allow me to use a fast enough shutter speed due to low light at the time.

As you become better at taking photos, if your camera has the facility, move to a manual mode. Your camera may have an ‘S’ setting or similar near the ‘Auto’ setting. This will allow you to select the shutter speed you want and the camera will try to adjust the aperture (size of the hole in the lens that lets light in) to suit. You see, if you’re using a faster shutter speed, you need a bigger aperture to let enough light in.

The ‘S’ setting is the one I use most for taking shots. I try to use shutter speeds of at least 1/250th of a second and up to 1/1000th (my camera’s max, others go higher) where possible if the sun is out.

If there isn’t enough light for the shutter speed you’ve chosen, your camera will indicate this in some way in the view finder or LCD screen. Read your manual to work stuff like this out if in doubt.

You can try to take the shot anyway and see what happens. Pushing it a little beyond it’s demands for light can sometimes result in a reasonable shot anyway.

If it is cracking the shits and demanding much more light and you are still demanding a fast enough shutter speed to capture the speeding moment, then you might have to sacrifice some picture quality and adjust the ISO setting.

The ISO is like the old ‘film speed’ with 35mm cameras. A low ISO, like 50, produces ace sharp photos, but demands plenty of light. A high ISO, like say 400 or more, produces more grainy images, but needs less light and will therefore allow for the use of faster shutter speeds.

If I’m trying to take shots of moving bikes, mid winter, under a canopy of trees with little sun, then I always have to use a higher ISO setting. The other option is blurry subjects, which is not an option.

To help fix this, I often use the flash, even in broad daylight. The flash can also help by removing shadows on people’s faces and the like. Remember though they only work over short distances, like about ten feet or so. They take time to ‘recharge’ between shots too, so you may have to wait a few seconds longer than normal for it to be ready to take the next shot.

Another thing to consider is depth of field. That is the amount of stuff in your shot that is in focus, measured from you straight out into the distance, not side to side in the shot. This is directly linked to aperture, or the size of your hole.

A big hole, which has a lower aperture number, such as 2.8, will produce a short depth of field. That means that the item you’ve focussed on should be in focus, but not much either side of it. So the ground between you and the subject might be blurry, as well as the trees behind the subject. Here’s an example of a short depth of field, taken by Graeme Baynes at the charity bash. The rider shall remain nameless at this stage. Let’s just call him ‘Jeez I’m rooted and this hill is real hard but there’s no bloody way you’re riding my bike up this hill then poking shit at me about it all night at the pub’.

There is nothing wrong with this and it can produce a great photo, as your target will stand out more. It is commonly used for portraits.

A little hole can be good too, for other things. I mean, like shots of scenery. If you were on top of Mt Pinnibar and trying to get a shot of surrounding mountains, you’d try to use a smaller aperture, which would have a bigger number, like 5.6 or higher. This would hopefully see heaps of stuff in pretty good focus, right from the mountain you’re on off into the distance to the far mountains.

My camera allows me to choose to change the aperture, with the ‘A’ setting and then it will change the shutter speed to feed in the right amount of light. I use this sometimes to take a shot of a static object that I want to stand out from the background.

My camera also has a full manual option, allowing choice re both shutter speed and aperture, but I never use it. Gun photographers will cringe, but I find it too hard by the side of the track given my time constraints as tour operator.

Righto, so some of this may have been gobbledegook to you. I recommend heading out into the backyard and snapping some shots, starting with the basics. Get a handle on focus first. Then move to shutter speed changes. Then stuff about with ISO changes then perhaps aperture settings. Practice at home and your efforts in the bush will be rewarded.

Once you’ve got the basics, experiment. Work put in moving around to get different perspectives will pay off with better and more interesting photos. Twenty shots of different bikes from the same angle gets boring. Get on top of a rock or hill or climb a tree to get above the bikes. Kneel or lay down to get that low shot. Some from behind to capture roost. Some from the front and side. Try to vary the subject. Here’s an interesting shot someone took of someone getting close and personal with Jock’s ‘missing’ slipper.

The poor thing was hijacked and is being held for ransom, having been dragged all over the border, having it’s photo taken in various compromising positions. Jock is very fond of his slipper and said to be distraught.

Some mates of his have been emailing him pictures of his slipper to keep him that way.

Also, try to fill the frame most of the time with your intended subject. A shot with a pissy little bike in the background is usually crappy. Get right up close or zoom in and your results will improve. Yeah, you’ll cut some heads off, but in the long run your pictures will be better to look at.

Now get out there and practice. Get the kids riding up and down on their pushys or kicking the footy. Whatever, as long as they are moving. Practice panning as they ride or run past. You need to practice to become good at it. Practice focussing like described above, panning as they approach then taking the shot at the spot you’ve focussed on.

This is a three way win at least: You’re spending time with the kids, the missus is happy and you’re working on part of your dirt biking experience all at the same time.

Re batteries, if your camera uses AA’s, then go for rechargeables every time. They last ages and cost stacks less in the long run. I often get 300 shots out of one set, which is heaps of photos.

Go get yourself a decent memory card, at least one gigabyte. That’s about ten bucks worth these days.

Like anything, practice and preparation make perfect. Even baby steps in the right direction with improvement to your focussing will make a huge difference to your photography.

There’s nothing like an ace photo to top off the ride.

It turns out the red headed bloke the arrow was pointing to is Michael and he bought the Alpinestars bionic body armour, not the UHF.

‘The Wombat’ reckons the purchaser was ’some Melbourne tosser’.

Would the tosser please identify himself to receive the microphone.

In my own version of where’s wally, I need to know who the punter was who bought the ace GME uhf radio at the charity bash auction.

It was incomplete. I’d ‘borrowed’ the accessory springy microphone from the kit to use at the bash for a sweep rider. I’d like to give it back.

Not the bloke with the dark hair and white t shirt, but his red headed mate who’s face you can’t see. I reckon I know him, but have alzheimers.

Please work out for me who the arrow is pointing to and get them to contact me, or just lag them right in and I’ll post them a present.

I was up on Mt Big Ben tonight where there’d been a fair dump of snow. Down low, real low, right down near the paddock, I was sliding all over the joint in 4WD and nearly over - shot a couple of corners and ended up in the drain. That was miles from the snow.

I shifted the Pajero into ‘4 High Locked Centre Diff’ but it was still slippery.

I got up near the top and came across a couple of likely lads in a Hyundai Excel. I wasn’t sure whether to label them dickheads or legends. Bit of both probably. They seemed fairly happy so I left them with some advice on making it down slowly and in one piece and off they slid.

There had been a few sightseeing four wheel drives on the hill, but what caught my eye the most was the bike tracks. Only a couple mind you, but I was jealous as. I knew Fabio and Chris were heading up there earlier in the day and they must have had a ball.

Fresh dry snow with bugger all rain.

Imagine if this had happened the night before the bash. Half of the riders would still be out there, making like Stalagtites (Ed: or is it ‘mites’, I can never remember which one is up and which one is down). Or perhaps like Sid off Ice Age in one of his many pickles.

We were actually very lucky. Whilst some of the advance riders would have blasted through grinning, riding in snow is actually quite a challenge and requires you to go faster than you really want to most of the time.

If you slow down, you lose momentum, traction and ultimately your sense of what should point upwards and what bits should point downwards. If you go fast though, you have to be standing and fully prepared for the little secret bumps that lay concealed by the snow.

Anyway, that didn’t happen and you’re all still alive, maybe next year. It would have been a sight though and created a fair bit of talk at the pub, about midnight when you made it out of the ice - age.

When my tour preparation guide says stuff like ‘you must bring waterproof clothing as the weather in the high country is unpredictable, often cold, wet and windy’, I’m not taking the piss. This mountain is only around 1100 metres above sea level. It only gets worse the higher you get. Anywhere above about 800 metres can be evil.

On the other hand, let’s hope next year brings a light snow shower overnight then sun for us the next day. It’ll happen one year. It may take a while and I may well be old as buggery and riding some under - powered solar ‘Eco - Scoot’, but it’ll be fun.

Today, whilst Don and I were out handing over a big fat cheque to Andrew the property owner for the Dederang primary school, proceeds of the bash, we came across a couple of cars parked on the private property on the way in.

It turned out to be a bloke from Wodonga, who was apparently showing his mates from Melbourne around the tracks out that way.

Problem was, they weren’t that big on rego or licenses of any kind. Didn’t seem to be too worried about that either. Hadn’t asked for permission to be there either.

Whilst I was checking to see if their bikes were stolen, I watched two of them finish their cigarettes and then chuck them straight onto the ground in the middle of the track.

Imagine if you came home one day and some dude was at your joint, parked in your driveway illegally, not having to bothered to ask if that was okay, in an unregistered vehicle with no insurance and butting his smokes out as he saw fit.

This blog was never intended to be aligned with my police work, however it’s so closely linked to the future of our sport that I can’t help but print my thoughts.

I reckon that if you take some mates out for a ride, then you are at least in part responsible for their actions. If you suspect they are unlicenced or don’t have rego, then don’t take them. In fact if you have mates that ride without rego, call them for what they are, let them know their stupidity is affecting all of us in the long run.

It’s surprising how well peer group pressure works on a bloke, far better than advice from a cop. It’s time to take a stand and draw a line in the sand. Let’s work together and get tough on people who apparently care little about looking after our sport and the environment, as they are damaging our prospects for the future.

If I were to bust someone taking some mates who were doing the wrong thing in a similar manner out for a ride in my backyard, I would look upon the taker very dimly and most likely ban them from any events I ran in the future, especially the charity bash.

If you’re old enough to get a learners or licence then there’s no excuse for not having one and being on a registered bike.

The total of the fines today was about $1700.00. No shit. That would pay for a few years worth of licenses and rego. Their behaviour doesn’t even make economic sense.

(Ed: Note that since posting this piece, I’ve had a number of calls from blokes who have supported my stance, some of which were from unexpected sources. It’s good to know that many of us have wised up. Thanks for your support, as it’s a subject that not everyone agrees on and no doubt some ignorant types will strongly disagree with us)

Graeme Baynes works for Honda as the National Merchandise Manager at this stage. He was at the bash riding around on a CRF250X, taking the odd photo. He’s a good photographer and took some good shots.

He’s got his own blog full of cool photos.

Here’s a link to the photos he took at the bash.

http://photo.net/photodb/folder?folder_id=853658

Some great photos Graeme, but please explain why there are eleven or so static shots of your 250X???

The DVD will have these and another several hundred ripper photos taken by various people on the day, as well as plenty of video footage of course.

A reminder to contact Don if you want to order a DVD.

I’m able to track how many people are looking at this blog. It’s normally not huge numbers, but given a small target audience (Ed: ‘What???? I’ve been targeted!) I’ve been fairly happy.

Around Finke time we had about 150 or so having a gander daily. Same in the four days after the Yackandandah Charity Bash.

However, on the 8th of August something strange seems to have happened and well over 3000 hits were recorded! Given the way cyberspace works, it is possible I suppose.

Tomorrow the world!

Date XML Robots Browser Unknown Total
09/08/08 1 3 15 0 19
08/08/08 1 35 3306 0 3342
07/08/08 1 29 130 0 160
06/08/08 1 8 133 2 144
05/08/08 0 12 128 0 140
04/08/08 2 12 127 1 142
03/08/08 0 14 49 1 64
02/08/08 2 23 48 67 140
01/08/08 9 20 61 0 90
31/07/08 1 18 61 0 80
30/07/08 5 5 93 0 103
29/07/08 8 16 54 0 78
28/07/08 0 21 51 0 72
27/07/08 3 68 50 0 121
26/07/08 6 30 22 18 76
25/07/08 1 11 20 0 32
Total 41 325 4348 89 4803

The table hasn’t displayed properly, however the date is on the left and the number of hits for that day is on the right of the same line. The other numbers refer to wierdo cyber - nerd shit, something about the robot off lost in space. I wonder if one of my customers is responsible for the ‘unknown’? Ginnivan, is that you?

The table is fairly representative of how the blog has been travelling for the past few months.

Don’t forget, if you have an article or similar you’d like to send me, I’ll consider it for posting. I prefer something interestingly factual or funny.

I’ve already told you that I think the Pirelli MX eXTra is a high quality tyre, that provides excellent grip over a variety of surfaces and also displays great durability.

On the trail bike, it’s done a tour from Yackandandah to Eskdale in June, which featured some rocky terrain.

Since then, it’s done all the pre - running for the charity bash and the charity bash itself. That was mostly loamy slippery stuff, but did include some rocks.

It also included a grasstrack loop where the pictures elsewhere on the blog show it was still handling well enough for me to engage in full - noise 3rd and 4th gear power slides.

Yeah, big deal you may say. What I haven’t said is that this tyre also did the Finke Desert Race on the back of my CRF450R first, as well as another 240 k’s of Finke pre - running.

660 k’s of desert use, much of it at race pace

300 k’s of trail tour use, none of it too slow

80 k’s of trail riding - bash pre tour

100 k’s of the charity bash

So I reckon it’s done around 1160 kms of riding so far and still looks pretty good, not having lost one knob.
Admittedly, sand and mud is not too harsh on a tyre, however there were rocks amongst the sand at Finke, the dreaded road section of 170 km/h for 30 kms, plenty of rocks in the hills around Eskdale, including sharp shaly buggers and a few at the charity bash.

Personally though, I don’t turn tyres around to get a sharp edge for traction. You end up with a blunt edge for braking.

You might pick up the small holes in each centre knob. That was an idea from Desert Edge motorcycles in Alice Springs to try to dissipate the heat better from the road section to prevent knobs ripping off.

This may work, however between the three of us, nobody ripped any knobs and I was the only one to drill the knobs on my tyre. Admittedly, KTM’s aren’t as fast top end as a Honda (Ed: there’s no denying it you orange dreamers, CRF’s are faster), however Whitey was still going mighty quick on his MX eXTra with no holes and no issues.

On top of all this, this tyre actually provides some grip.
I’ve written this article in response to heaps of riders I saw at the Yack Charity Bash with ordinary rear tyres. Not worn out, just ordinary in terms of grip. A new cheapie, such as a Mitas or a re - tread or a whatever that you paid less for is poor economy when you’re rear end is swapping all over the place like it’s at a gay swingers convention.

I think that this is the best wearing performance rear dirt bike tyre on the market.

The front tyre has done the same work and still looks good too, but this one is the Scorpion XC.

Why do I use a different front tyre to the rear? It’s not because the front MX eXTra is a dud, it’s because I think the XC is better suited to the conditions I ride in.

Paul Broomfield uses the MX eXTra front on his ADB test Suzuki RMZ 450 and raves about the thing. I think the front tyre is better suited to harder surfaces than the softer stuff we encounter and the tracks where Broomy rides are certainly hardish.

I’ve tried an MX eXTra front and whilst they have excellent durability they don’t provide as much grip in the soft stuff as an XC. I’m quite particular about front end grip, so I run a combination of MX eXTra rear and XC front.

A customer, Paul, ran an XC front on his 250 X for ages and loved it. He’s probably a little more into longevity than I am, but was happy that it displayed great durability.

I had an ace day today. Spending time with kids enjoying themselves tends to make anyone feel good. I took about 44 grade 3 and 4 kids from the Yackandandah Primary School out and with a few adult helpers, planted around 300 trees in the Stanley Forest.

I’d agreed with the DSE that our destination this year should be the new trail bike unloading area they had recently put in. A dozer had been used to clean the site and spread gravel, leaving a fair bit of disturbed or bare earth. Being close to the Yackandandah creek, it was likely that a heavy downpour would see extra sediment flowing into our lovely little trout stream.

Since there were plenty of large eucalypts about, we mainly had low and mid level stuff. Hardenbergia (probably well and truly stuffed up the spelling there) is a cute little creepy thing with eucalypt style leaves and at times a purple flower. One of my favourites, we had fifty. We also had some ‘red – stemmed wattles’ and other things that grow when you plant them. Oh, and a few big swamp gums, which, curiously, like wetter areas.

Shay from the Indigo Shire, Jim from Beechworth Police, Bazza from the local DSE office and some parent helpers from the school each took charge of a small group of 5 – 6 kids. Jim and Shay laid out some stakes and barriers where they thought trees should go, to give the kids a bit of a head start.

Despite the forecast, the sun was out and the kids were full of enthusiasm. Digging was hard in the mostly rocky terrain, but small mattocks proved to be a useful tool and we got through.

New plantings seem to affect nearly everyone in a positive way and my hope is that beautifying the area gives visitors and idea that it is loved by someone, hopefully helping to reduce the incidence of damage and destruction.

We had a couple of trusty Neighbourhood Watch volunteers (thanks Ian and Olive) to help cook some snags and some leftover coleslaw and sauce from the charity bash set them off nice.

This event was really easy to organise. It took stuff all time, cost stuff - all money yet benefits are real, tangible and work towards a better future. Go organise your own.

I spent Sunday riding with some sponsors and mates. We hooled around some horn tracks in the Stanley Forest at Yackandandah. Just as good as the bash tracks really, except no grasstrack to roost.

I spent Monday and Tuesday doing post - bash admin. duties: sponsors to email and talk to, monies to collect from business partners/sponsors (as an example, the Yackandandah Hotel gave me $500 cash, part of the deal given that we spent a heap of dough there on auction night), bike and gear to wash and some home duties.

Today I went out in the car and started pulling down signs, arrows and stakes out on the mountain. I noticed that even though 160 or so bikes had been around a couple of times, actual track damage was low.

Sure, you could see we’d been there and the leaf litter had certainly been disturbed, but there weren’t too many deep ruts to be seen. One decent downpour and a storm to spread some more leaf litter and you’ll not know we were there.

One thing I noticed out there that stood out as wrong was some tear offs on the track.

Next year their use will be banned at the bash. Their use is already banned at enduros and the Hattah desert race, since they’re not environmentally friendly. If you have vision issues, get some Scott roll offs.

Overall though, I reckon participant behaviour was awesome. There was a low moron count, which is in everyone’s favour. The pits had very little rubbish lying around, which is a relief to both the landowner and the organisers, thanks.

We’ve received plenty of e mails and phone calls thanking us for a great event and appreciate your feedback. We plan to run the event in a similar format next year, simply polishing a few loose ends and hopefully improving our exposure. You’ll hear about it in due course if we pull off our plan.

Kids from the Yackandandah and Dederang primary schools will prosper due to the success of the Yackandandah Charity Bash this year. 150 entrants and a few organisers enjoyed themselves on sensational slippery tracks, raising over $15,000 in the process.

(Ed: Final count is just over $16000 net. Our gross was over 20K, costs being about 5K. Most of the costs were eaten up by the t shirts at 3.5K - so the event only cost us $1500 to run!)

Together with Don McInnes, who recently morphed into one of our sweep riders, and aided by a merry band of volunteers, we conjured a smooth event from the jaws of defeat, after seeing a fierce storm the night before complete with horizontal hail and a little snow. Riders came from all over Victoria and NSW to take on the notoriously challenging track network that is making the bash a favourite.

We worked in partnership with local landholders and the Department of Sustainability and Environment to ensure the event would be enjoyable yet sustainable.

We are trying to promote off road motorcycling in a safe and responsible manner. We accept that our sport impacts upon the environment and we are trying to minimize that impact, to ensure our riding can continue into the future. Might sound like bullshit to some blokes who think it’s their god given right to tear the bush up, but I believe that it’s a priviledge not a right to be out there on our bikes and some of us need to make some changes to the way we treat our assets.

Speaking of assets, riders sampled tracks inaccessible to the public, including a full grass track motocross loop, complete with undulating terrain and jumps.

Numbers are limited to 150 to reduce track damage. We don’t want to bugger the hill like some other rides, pruducing deep muddy ruts. We turned away plenty of riders wanting to enter. One bloke just tried to roll up on the day without entering, knowing it was full, but was turned away. Gotta draw a line somewhere.

All smokers are issued with small disposable butt holders to reduce littering. Track use is approved by the DSE, who were also on hand to noise test bikes before they headed out.

Only a handful of bikes were found to be too loud. The testing was done from an educational perspective, with the owners advised to remedy their bikes to help minimise complaints by other bush users and nearby residents.

Signs by Knight of Wodonga did an awesome job this year and as a result the track network was clearly marked and much safer. We had three advanced loops.

Tuffy from Trailrider magazine was along for the gig and seemed to be enjoying himself.

An article will appear in a future edition of the mag so keep your eyes peeled.

Brendan Bell from MXTV couldn’t come, had some bullshit excuse about have to cover some little event, ‘Aussie MX Nats’ or some shit.

Old Belly was smart enough not to miss out on the action though and sent along cameraman Ben, who got some awesome footage of the grasstrack.

So, you’ll also have to follow MXTV to see if your ugly dial gets some air time. To find their program schedule, just google MXTV.

There was one hill on the first loop that tested a few punters. Don reckons he and some other sweeps together may have ridden more than forty bikes up, with the punters having to foot slog. At least they got there and had something to talk about at the pub.

Some riders turned up with their bikes ’sporting’ either low quality or partly worn tyres. This event is not for pussies on an under prepared steed. It’s mid winter in slipperys - ville. The old re - tread or cheap thing or hard terrain tyre or dirt track tyre or black and round thing just won’t cut it unless you’re the local gun A grader.

Do yourself a favour and turn up next year with a NEW Pirelli MX Extra. Even an old MX extra will have more grip than your low quality substitute. The cheapies are false economy, which will become painfully obvious when your heavy mud - clogged Alpinestars are only twenty paces into the 500 needed to walk to the top of the hill. I used an MX extra on the back that has done:

240 k’s of Finke Desert Race practice

The Finke Desert Race (about 440 more)

A 350 k trail tour

Pre - riding for the bash

and still looks and performs pretty well!

The caterer’s, all volunteers, did a great job.

There were plenty of stories of near crashes, crashes and blokes crashing into other blokes who were trying to crash in the same spot.

Glen Smith has in my mind probably the best one though. He hasn’t ridden for a while and is seemingly described best in bike rider terms as an overweight unfit bastard. So when he had finally finished the first loop he was fully shagged. He reckons he was near delerious and had double vision.

With double vision you’d still reckon he’d be able to see the signs reminding you that you’ve actually finished and that there’s no real sense in heading out for the second loop without stopping to rest and have lunch………….

Some sweeps found him fully rooted and out of fuel half way ’round. They gave him some juice and he ate some muesli bars (we had steak sangas Glenn, along with yummy cake, just in case your mates haven’t informed you).

I found him stuck at the bottom of heartbreak hill, well and truly on reserve. So was his fuel tap. Unbelievably, he still had some room for humour which I picked up on and hung some shit on him with a big grin on my face.

I re juiced him from the Safari 21 litre mega - tank, gave him a cuddle, wiped the tears from his eyes, blurted out a few riding tips then patted him on the head and told him to go forth and conquer, pointing at the hill with a menacing glare.

The hill was that slippery and he was that wasted that I expected to find him just round the next corner, expired or at least in need of CPR.

To my surprise and full credit to him, he somehow made it up. I was sure I would have to ride his bike up. Absolute legend.

He apparently spent Sunday in the foetal position, blowing bubbles, nursing a sore shoulder. He had Sunday off, then Monday, then tried to front for Tuesday, but had to whimper home. He has his own business and therefore no sick days, so was genuinely flat. His good mates told me he has a great sense of humour and I should recount his story on these pages. Glenn, you’re famous.

The auction at days’ end at the Yackandandah Hotel was popular and the bidding was intense for the quality prizes up for grabs.

The winner of the grand prize, a Honda CRF50 minibike, in an extremely unselfish act, donated it back to the event for auction and a further $1800 was raised. For privacy reasons, I won’t mention his name here, but thanks. We found him a trick Honda jacket and are shouting him a three day Tom Groggin tour in 2009.

As well as some TV cameras, we had some great still photographers there this year to help out. Graeme Baynes from Honda is a gun operator and his camera gear weighs ten kilos. Here’s a link to his website - http://www.fullnoise.com.au/blogs/gb/ Jemma Corbett is an up and comer showing good talent. Monty is our regular talented media man and will compile the DVD in the coming weeks. Matty Smailes is a bearded bikie who’s ability belies his appearance. He can seemingly ride a Harley, a dirt bike, take pictures and runs Matthews Cycles in Wodonga. He also dabbles in dirt bike stuff and is a local agent for the much - revered Pirellis I rave about. Prime and WIN news television stations were also there and have run good stories on local news. Ben was there representing MXTV. All will share their footage with us for the DVD.

A big thanks to all of you for helping us to save our memories.

An enormous thanks to all the nameless volunteers, landowners and general helpers who made it all possible.

Here’s just some of the feedback from riders:

Yack Bash - Well done Rod to yourself and all your helpers putting together the Yack Bash. Being from Gundowring i thought I knew Big Ben pretty well but 50% of the track we went on I hadnt been on before. It was a great day and I definatly will be back from Melbourne to ride next year! - Marcus

HI GUYS

JUST A QUICK EMAIL TO SAY THANKS FOR A GREAT DAY OF RIDING, ORGANISED REALLY WELL AND EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THE ORGANISATION OF IT DESERVES A PAT ON THE BACK.

HOPEFULLY WE WILL SEE YOU GUYS NEXT YEAR

REGARDS SIMON NORRIS AND NICK HENSHALL

hey rod ,would just like to congratulate you and your hard working team , for a fantastic effort put in organising the 2008 yack charity ride,being a novice rider and being a bit nervous on the day ,i havent had so much for a long time,the sweep riders were a great boost of confidence, and all the other riders were a great help as well,a special thanks to all the ladies and other behind the scene workers who dont get recognised for their great efforts,congratulations for raising $20,000 for the yack school,i’m sure they will put it to good use,i’m sure raising that much money makes all the hard work worthwhile,thanks again,regards des parkin PS..please pass on my thanks to the rest of your team.

comments: To Rod & The Team,
As a particpant in the Yackandandah Charity Bash on the weekend I feel compelled to send this quick email. Being a novice rider and nearing the dreaded 40 year age bracket I found the ride challenging (like “how unfit can one man be!!” challenging) but totally enjoyed the day. The organisation, preparation, trails, food, sponsors, sweep riders, participants and helpers were all fantastic (even though I missed out on lunch due to being directionally chalenged). There was a wide variety of bikes, riders and abilities represented but I have never before experienced the positive comraderie between strangers that presented on the day. There were more than a few riders that had the obligatory falls (myself on several occassions) but there were even more riders stopping to check on your welfare, rend assistance or even just share superlatives on the nature of the track / fitness or how much further to go!! “You’ll be right mate, just take a breath and focus down the track, you’ll make it!!". Hats off to you and the team as it was a fantastic day and I look forward to turning up next year, a little more ride fit, better prepared with tyres and a lot more attentive to the “PITS” sign!!

Regards,
Glenn Smith

(Ed: that was the famous aforementioned ‘Got Lost Glenn’)

Re: Yack Charity Ride Final Info

Don,

Thanks for the ride, our group had an excellent day. I am wanting to purchase a copy of the DVD. Could you please let me know how to go about it.

Regards,

Joel

Hi Rod,
Congratulations to you and everyone else involved on the running of the 3rd Yack Bash. It was certainly one of the best run events I have been to. Not sure if you are aware but there is a typo in your web address on the T-shirt provided on the weekend. There is an extra ’s’ after ‘road’.

Best regards
Brian Finn
Director

www.forceaccessories.com.au
Ph (03) 9792 9599
Fax (03) 9792 9676

(Ed: Brian makes the trick Force bashplates and Radiator guards the Online guides use - quality stuff)

Hi Rod.

Just a quick thank you to yourself and everyone else who contributed to a fantastic day at the Yack Bush bash.
I’m the guy on the DRZ 400 who had electrical problems 30 odd Ks into the first loop.

I’ve only been back into motorbike riding for the last 12 mths after a twenty five year break and that was the first organised ride of that type I’ve done since riding a
PE 250n in an enduro meet at Jingellic in the early eighties.

The close attention I got from the sweeps especially Matt Smailes who, along with the guys who dragged my bike back to the top of the gully, all went way above and beyond the “call of duty” and for that I’m truly thankful.

After reading your report on the Pirelli MX xtra and the MX Scorpion on your website a couple of weeks ago I dropped into Matt and had them fitted front and rear in preparation for the Yack bash. Geez was that money well spent, they were fantastic and I’m sure they were the only reason I got to the top of that hillclimb shortly into the first loop.

Anyway, I had an absolute ball for the 30 odd ks I completed and will be back again next year.


Cheers,

Tony Ewart

(Ed: Well done Matt. Tony - what were you doing in the gully in the first place?)

Don,

We had a fantastic weekend & yesterdays ride topped it off beautifully!

The Charity Bash is a very positive promotion for motorcycling – great riding terrain & helping the local community.

Re Graham Keogh who gave away the CRF50:
Hey, I can tell you his 17 year old son gave him a hard time when we arrived home last night. He couldn’t believe his old man had just given a way a motorcycle!

Bye,

Pat Dillon
C & R Imports

(Ed: C & R supply Scott goggles, TAG handlebars and other trick stuff - and Graham is a legend. For info., we rewarded him with a Woodstock Honda jacket and a voucher for a three day tour with Online Off Road Tours to Tom Groggin in 2009)

Thanks don
for a great ride on the weekend, i had a ball
heres my video (1 of 3 videos)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk3zz2IaBuE

see you next year

(Ed: We’re on youtube!)

Rod / Don,

Unfortunately I could not make it to the pub due to a prior engagement. Hope you had a great night.

Bevis and I both want to congratulate you guys for Saturday. Probably the best organised event I’ve been to and the trails were pretty good as well. Would have liked an extreme trail section or hill climb thrown in somewhere and probably a bit more snow to make things trickier. By the end of the second loop it started to remind me of the Vic series enduro at Marysville a few years ago.

Cheers for a well organised event.

Regards

Andrew Houlihan

TWIN CITY ENGINEERING PTY LTD
605 Ebden St
Albury, NSW, 2640

PH - 02 60 413 818

(Ed: Andrew makes the trick quicklift stand and sprocket you saw at the auction. Good to see we were able to keep advanced riders happy too. What do you all reckon though about his call for an ‘extreme’ section. I reckon plenty of you thought the whole track was extreme!)

I checked my phone’s inbox today and found I’d received more than 50 sms messages from Don McInnes about the bash during the planning stage. At least a gazillion times that many phone calls too. No wonder I’m grey.

Don, Clint, Wayno and I put the finishing touches to the track loops yesterday and can report they are fully sick. There is a bit of everything for everyone.

There are three optional advanced tracks. One, the ‘Honda Hillclimb’ is rudely difficult and 95% of you won’t make it up.

The other two are difficult but not impossible.

The bottom line is, if you are not supremely confident that you are an ace rider with a good back tyre, I’d miss the lot! Nobody will be on hand to help you up.

The weather had looked really bad and I had visions of snow and sleet, however it seems we have had a reprieve!
The weather man now says poxy today, with rain, clearing tomorrow, to fine, with Sunday even better.

Yeee Haaar!

The Indigo shire have helped out with a couple of truck loads of gravel in the car park to seal the track in and out, so it’s easier and safer to get your vehicles in and out.

You will notice the improved signage both when you arrive and on the ride itself, thanks to Signs by Knight from Wodonga.

In a major coup, Wodonga State Emergency Service will be helping out with their portable UHF repeater for the day. This sucker sits in a trailer on top of the mountain and should vastly improve communications on the day. Thanks guys.

Local TV stations Prime and WIN reckon they’re coming out, as well as a cameraman representing MXTV.

Don, Harro, perhaps Fabio and I are heading out today to buff the rough edges.

See you there tomorrow.

At the last minute, a nasty storm came through and re arranged our well laid out bunting.

We’ll have to beware fresh trees down on the tracks, but otherwise all is looking really good for a great day.

Honda offered me a trial of a different piston for the 450X. It’s actually a genuine Honda part from a 450 quad. As much as I hate quads, it’s got something I think will work - an extra ring.

Honda were using this piston in their motocross practice bikes for some time, reporting much better wear as well as lower oil usage. Both are attributes everyone wants, especially for a CRF450X.

The piston is slightly heavier and could potentially result in less power. However, the feedback from the Andos of this world is that they couldn’t tell the difference. Funnily enough, neither can I. Other than the extra ring and slightly more piston to accomodate it, there is little difference. The top of the piston has a slightly different ‘burn pad’, but who cares.

Actually, the petrol/air mix doesn’t go ‘boom’ at all, but burns rapidly and hopefully evenly. If it does explode, then you get ‘pinging’ or ‘knocking’ which can lead to engine damage.

The ‘exploding’ mix eats away at the top of the piston, leaving marks like Woody Woodpecker’s been there on your piston crown. The ‘pinging’ is the noise it makes as it explodes.

The new piston will live in the same place the old one did.

While I’m there, I’m also trying some stainless steel inlet valves, again from a Honda quad. Useful for something I suppose. The idea is again better longevity and I’m to keep a record of use and maintenance so Honda can evaluate the parts, with a view to offering them perhaps as an option down the track.

The inlet side is on the left.

So, the plan is that my internal parts replacement intervals will be greatly improved, with the new parts taking much longer to wear out than the stockers.

I might cop a very slight decrease in performance due to the extra weight of the components, but the truth is that the 450 has more than enough anyway and less power is likely to actually make me faster (smoother) anyway.

I’ll report down the track how the new bits perform.

What about the bloke who just rang Don at home and said, ‘mate, I’ve just put $100 into your account, I heard that was the go if you wanted to ride in the bash’, without having had any prior communication whatsoever.

Fair try from someone who obviously had heard it was full and tried to pull a swifty. Sorry mate, full is full. If we open the flood gates and don’t limit bike numbers, yes, we’ll make more money and yes, the hill will suffer and no, neither the DSE nor I will like that.

Sorry, book earlier next year.

This is what four and a half hours will do to your air cleaner when you ride around in dust. Washed in Kero, then again in fresh Kero. Washed in warm soapy water, then again in fresh warm soapy water. Like new again.

Next year? I’ll probably fit a filter skin

I have re - checked my inlet valves and after Finke, Hattah and a little bit of practicing in between, they are still just like new.

No shit, this is some of what you can expect. No, not a cop car with some grinning lunatic coming at you, but an ace re - discovered old twin track, pruned into some ace single trail.

We’ve had significant rain and dust will not be an issue. The trails are in beautiful condition, with grass on some.

The advanced sections will be truly advanced and just about all of you will be best advised to avoid them. I recommend pretty well all of you should avoid the one marked ‘Honda Hillclimb’. Tour guide Wayno reports that he was unable to walk it and it took him three goes with three psi in his back tyre. His mate ‘Tye’ (not his real name) completely failed (flailed?). If those two struggled, the rest of you are fairly rooted. I advise you swallow your pride and take the sensible alternative route, which is itself a challenge.

Be careful in areas that are a little overgrown and have reduced visibility. Whilst we have taken care to remove as many dangerous obstacles as possible, the tracks are not guaranteed smooth sailing. I was travelling at walking pace, but didn’t know this rock was even there until the wheels came off the ground!

The following link takes you to the website of holeshot images, who cover events including Hattah. It’s definately worth a look, some ace pics. Hit the index menu option to see the thumbnails (little pictures) then click on the ones you want to see in larger format.

http://www.holeshotimages.com.au/Events/hattah08/main/content/hattah08_1108_large.html

You’ll get a better idea of what I was talking about with the sand at Hattah. There are some great shots of the yellow sand I was talking about, like the beach it was. Check out the photos of the dust at the start and the rest of the great shots taken from the helicopter.

Glenn sent me a couple of good shots he took too, thanks Glenn.

Stop ringing Don, the bash is chockers! Full. No more room. Don’t ring. Next year, plan earlier.

Note the COMPLETE prohibition of GPS units. That means you can’t bring one. If you are found with one, riding or not, or are even rumoured to have had one then you will be kicked out and banned from all future events we run, including tours. We’ll also rub your name into the mud with anyone we talk to. Please leave them at home to avoid bitter dissappointment.

Rowan is back, busted leg and all. He has a new bit of titanium running down his bone from up near his knee somewhere down towards his ankle, with some tech screws to hold it in place. It’s there for life.

Apparently, the group of quad riders were led by this bloke, who slowed, said ‘all right?’ or similar then blasted off at speed, without any mention that there were 39 other quads coming behind him. Poor trail manners that I reckon.

This is the corner where the accident happened. It’s on the telegraph track. Rowan was coming the other way. He reckons they were both only doing 40 or so, but just couldn’t see each other in time.

The bike fared better than Rowan did. He got fair t - boned, which translates to something like ‘Rowan was turning left trying to get out of the way but the quad was smack in the middle of the track taking up about all of the track and failed to turn much at all and just smashed right into him’.

Rowan was running 14/40 gearing on his 2008 CRF250X! He reckons it pulled it fine and on one stretch he got 211 k’s from the tank before it ran dry! He was using a 2007 model tank he had, which holds a little more than the 2008 tank, but that it still awesome fuel economy in sandy terrain. Look at the pissy little rear sprocket in the photo.

Preparations are coming along very well for the Yack Charity Bash. I’ve finalised negotiations with the DSE and have decided which tracks we will use. The DSE were supportive in their approach and are letting us use tracks that they do not recognise as proper tracks, which is awesome. In turn, I decided to meet them part way and not use tracks that may cause environmental problems such as erosion.

One major improvement over last year is the inclusion of a brand new never ridden loop. It is fully sick. I was planning to include it as an ‘experts only’ loop, however negotiations with the landowner has allowed us to nick into his paddock for a short distance to go around the tough - as ‘experts only’ short - steep - rocky hill.

So now, the loop will be opened up to everyone, with the option of going around the hill from hell.

The loop includes a recently dozed, undulating and never -ridden loamy track on the edge of the forest.

Then we dive into green grassland where you’ll get to play Thumpernats Star for a couple of K’s. This shot shows some of the low grassland that is fitted out with stakes and arrows.

This is as good as it gets.

The CRF 50 is ready and waiting. Horse, Galvo, Dan, Bernie and I conspired to promote the event by hanging the horny little bugger, blinged up and all with stickers, from the ceiling of the Yackandandah Hotel.

These are truly an awesome little bike.

1. They look really cool, with CRF MX bike inspired plastics.

2. They are well made, outlasting the ones made by ‘one - hung - low’ by ages.

I like Australian, but there’s no doubt the Japs have it all over us when it comes to making quality bikes, cars and gadgets.

It’s now waiting about for one lucky charity bash entrant to take home to some lucky kid. Or perhaps some lucky kid at heart.

Ringmaster Images have been at the forefront of trick graphics kits for ages now. Their products set industry standards and are the choice of many pro riders. Some not - so - pros too.

I’ve been using Ringmaster graphics on my police race bike for a few years and can report very favourably on their look and performance.

With the race bike, the graphics are invaluable, in that they clearly identify my bike, which looks different to any other bike on the planet. Kids are attracted to it, ‘cause it looks ‘real good’ and then they’re more likely to be partial to receiving the Ride Safe messages I have for them on the posters, information sheets and stickers.

On the tour bikes, they perform a similar job, however the real value there is a combination of sponsor exposure and bike protection. My tour CRF450X does lots more miles than the race bike and often in more difficult environments (plenty of mud, rocks and sticks).

The graphics protect the plastics underneath really well. Ringmaster only use quality heavy duty ‘vinyl’ and scratches are generally confined to the graphics only. Most small marks and scratches can be cleaned up with a petrol soaked rag (don’t smoke) or if they are really bad, a scouring pad works well with soapy water.

All you blokes who claim your bikes on tax, for whatever reason, would be smart to use some Ringmaster graphics. You can then promote your business and protect your bike at the same time. At sale time your plastics will look near new and increase the resale value of your bike.

Craig Pownall, the owner of Ringmaster, has generously donated a complete bike kit for the charity bash. Complete means complete, with number plates, shrouds, swingarm decals, front guard, rear guard and even a trick gripper seat cover. Retail value is around $580.00. The kit will be auctioned off along with a heap of other great stuff at the Yackandandah Hotel after the bash.

Save your bucks and invest wisely in some mega - bling.

To see more of what Ringmaster can do, visit

www.ringmasterimages.com.au

or give Craig a call on 0397202223.

Spoke to the ‘Hoon tonight. He reckons the operation went well and he now has a pin and a couple of screws in his leg.

He was on the old telegraph track, only about five hours from the top when the quad hit him. Refer to the Finke article to work out what I think of quads. Anyway, he reckons the terrain had been awesome. White sand on the low bits and a bit rockier as you got higher on the hills.

What he didn’t like was the amount of traffic. He reckons the joint is over commercialised and you’d come across another vehicle every few k’s, which increased the danger level significantly. Four wheel drives comin’ at ya is not my idea of fun.

We both agreed that we prefer our backyard, where we routinely come across no other vehicles all weekend.

He reckons he’ll be able to put his hands on some photos when he gets to re unite with his camera this weekend, when his mates get back to Cairns from the top.

I left a message with Jock to ring the ‘hoon. Brothers in arms. I’m sure they’ll have something in common to talk about. My riding mates are tibbing and fibbing off the perch all around me.

Wayno may have just been promoted to part - time lead rider. I discussed the possibility of taking this role on with Don and he muttered something about the customers using him for traction and declined.

Anyone who enters the Yack Charity Bash and is present at the draw after the auction can win this sweet Honda CRF50. No cheap - shit Chinese copy, but the real McKoy. Blinged - up with ‘factory’ stickers as well. If you haven’t entered, you have about five nano - seconds to make the cut. The guillotine blade has been sharpened and 150 is the cut off. 150. 151st = No Honda CRF50 for you.

Yes, this picture is taken in my lounge room. I’ve always wanted to keep a bike in my lounge room, but the 450’s have been a little large and envoked something other than glee in Cheryl. For some reason though, everyone thinks 50’s are cute.

Twelve months ago, we conducted a tree planting event. I arranged for the DSE, North East Water, Indigo Shire, Landcare, Vic Police, students from the Yackandandah primary school and some dirt bike riders to work together to re plant an area of land that had been degraded a bit by off road vehicles.

This is what it looked like then. Pretty barren.

Now, plenty of them are thriving. We have a survival rate of about 70%, which is fair given the drought.

The blackwoods, which are fast growing, are booming along.
Some of the eucalypts are thriving too.

Some of the little ground covers are doing well despite still being small. They’re protected by the plastic barrier.

Some of the others are open to predation by animals that want to eat them. At least we’re helping the ‘Roos and Wallabies too.

A bit further into the bush you can find the dedicated trailbike unloading area put in by the DSE, as part of their state - wide trail bike project.

It’s placed so that both local residents and the riders benefit. It’s situated in an area that will minimise the amount of noise resonating into local homes, yet not far into the bush to trailer your bike.

There is even a toilet, which is a flash composting unit. At this stage, thankfully, no damage or graffiti. Note that you’re best to bring your own toilet paper.

It is good to see motorcyclists using the facility and it’s good to see some cooperation between dirt bike riders and our forest managers. It can only benefit us all in the long run.

Online Off Road Tours have another tree planting day planned. We’re going to band together with the same partners as last time and beautify the trailbike unloading area, as well as some areas previously damaged by the Army and four wheel drives.

The army use the forest to practice winching techniques and irresponsible four wheel drivers had taken the opportunity to test their trucks on the difficult terrain left by the army. I’m all for the army being better trained, but the mess left by the weekend warriors left a bit to be desired.

So, bring on national tree week 2008 and we’ll try to do our bit. Without ‘our bit’, unfortunately we dirt bikers are perhaps grouped together as a clear target for our forest managers, who only see the damage some of us cause.

If we all put in just a little bit, by ensuring our behaviour will minimise our negative impact upon the environment, then we’ll be able to enjoy our sport for years to come.

Legend tour guide Rowan was enjoying the trip of a lifetime yesterday, hooning up at Cape York with a group of mates, when disaster struck in the form of a bloody Quad.

In Queensland, somehow they get permission to use Quads on tracks in some areas, like the Cape. Rowan was riding along a sandy track that he says was only about six feet wide and came around a corner to find a girl riding a quad, taking up about, oooohhhh, the whole track. She t - boned him and he’s busted his tibia and fibia in the process. She suffered a broken wrist.

Apparently there were 40 quads in the convoy. He wasn’t leading and the lead rider tried to warn him via his UHF of the looming danger, but by the time he got his hand up to answer the call it was all over and they were flat out on the sand.

He was taken to Wiepa hospital first, which he reckons was quite civilised, then they flew him down to Cairns today. Apparently they’re gonna screw the big one and let the little one do it’s own thing. The operation is scheduled for tomorrow.

I rang him tonight and he was drugged up but in good spirits. He’s got a place to stay in Cairns for a week or so until his mates come back from the Cape, then he’ll return home with them.

He has no photos at this stage, he left his camera with his mates. ‘Spose I can’t blame him this time. As soon as some become available, I’ll post them for you.

If you want to see a photo of Rowan, go to page 59 of the Weekly times issue dated 9th July (current issue), where he is front and centre in an article promoting the Yack Charity Bash. Good photo that Clubby.

I was told it rained most years at Hattah and that the dust and roost combined with the rain to make vision difficult. Plenty of riders told me stories of having to stop every lap to change goggles. So I got prepared.

A call to Pat at C & R Imports had a Scott Works Film Kit on my door in no time. In the past, we called these things ‘roll offs’. They are best used when conditions are poor, such as very muddy or wet and dusty.

The idea is that two plastic canisters sit either side of the goggles. Inside the right hand canister is a fresh roll of thin clear plastic film. This stretches over the lens to the other canister, which acts as a receiver of used film. When the film gets dirty and your vision is reduced, you simply pull on the little knob on the left hand canister, which rolls a fresh issue of film over the lens, restoring a strip of clear vision about 3cm wide across the lens.

In this shot, you can hardly even see the thin film on top of the lens. Same deal when looking out from the inside, the film doesn’t interfere with your vision.

It doesn’t completely restore perfect vision as in ‘perfectly clean goggle lens’, but is far better than ‘can’t see shit, might not see that rock then crash into that tree’.

I had previous experience with roll offs and whilst they were at times good when conditions were very poor, they were in the past prone to losing the canister lids mid race, resulting in metres of clear film parading behind you noisily whilst you struggled for vision. I had gone away for them for that reason and relied on tear offs.

Problems with tear offs, where my big mitts would often go for the first one and rip all four or five off at once at the start of the race also gave me the shits. Operator error is surely to blame there along with lack of practice using the things, however as tear offs were banned at Hattah (it’s classed as an Enduro) I was forced to take a second look at roll offs.

I came away quite impressed with the new Scott roll off system, which has changed for the better in several ways. Firstly, the canister lids now come with a much more robust closure system that is almost guaranteed not to come adrift mid race, short of belting it into a tree or similar.

The new works system securely locates the canisters on the lens via these trick plastic clips. The works system is actually very ingenious. Each works lens can take either roll offs or tear offs using the same lens mounting points, giving you extra options with the one set of goggles. You can use tear offs for average conditions, then swap to roll offs if the weather deteriorates (or you run out of tear offs) at the one event. Or, motocross with tear offs and enduro with roll offs, all with the one set of goggles and one lens.

On top of that, for motocross, you also have the option of adding tear offs over the top of the roll off system, giving you the ultimate vision system. Factory.

There is no doubt that the canisters reduce your peripheral vision a little. You just can’t see ‘out the corner of your eye’ as well. However life is about give and take and in poor conditions I’d rather be able to see well in front of me than just plain not very well.

The kit I ordered retails at $79.95. It came with a dedicated roll off specific lens, that had little ‘bumps’ on it, designed to reduce friction between the lens and the film. They look funny initially, but in practice provided no visual hindrance at all. If you’re riding and can see the dots, you’re focussing about an inch from your eyeballs and are probably about to hit that tree you weren’t looking at!

Also in the kit, of course, were the two canisters and two rolls of fresh vision film. As well, a ‘Works mudflap’ and five tear offs were in the box.

The mudflap is stuck onto the lens with double sided sticky foam, to stop water and crap getting between the lens and the film. It was easy to put on and worked well.

The whole kit was simple to put together and took only a couple of minutes. Good instructions were provided on the box.

My kit suited Hi voltage goggles I use, but they are also available for the 80 series, which some riders prefer as they offer a better field of vision (the lens is bigger).

A great value option is a full kit available that includes a set of goggles as well as the works film system for $140 (80 series) or $148 (Hi Voltage) retail. Now that is good value. A set of Hi Voltage goggles alone retails for $90 to $98 depending on colour and model. A set of 80 series retail for around $86. So, buying the whole shebang, you save fourty or fifty bucks and get the best set of goggles on the planet.

There is the environmental factor as well. Tear offs are not Eco friendly at all and may well be banned even for motocross in the near future. This system doesn’t leave bits of plastic all over the track when you’ve all packed up and gone home. If you wanted to, you could wash and re - wind the film rolls for re - use. Recycling!

How did the kit perform at Hattah?

They were a real asset. The first loop was dusty and drizzly, so vision was shite. I rolled through at least ten or fifteen ‘new views’ which enabled me to keep riding safely. When the field spread out, the dust reduced a lot and around lap four I swapped the goggles for a set of Scott Desert 80 series, which offer a bit more vision due to having the larger frame and no canisters.

Overall, I was very impressed with the new Works Film System and would recommend it to anyone who intending to ride in inclement conditions and thinks good vision is paramount to safe and enjoyable riding.

Note that if the conditions are only dusty and not wet, then this system is not preferable, as dust tends to get between the lens and the film. In cases of dry dust only, go for a set of Scott Deserts.

The bias factor:

I’ve been sponsored by Scott for years now. I’ve had offers from other goggle distributors but turned them down because overall I think Scott goggles are the best. Top quality goggles, with a great range of price, style and performance options. They are the world’s top selling brand and you can get bits for them almost anywhere. Need some extra tear offs at the track? I bet the bloke next to you has some Scott ones to help you out.

Well, Hattah is done and dusted. It was a unique and enjoyable event, like nothing I’ve ever ridden before.

For starters, the types of people who turn up to these types of events seem far more friendly than the crowd you might get at say a motocross meeting. The pits and camp ground is like a social gathering, which we really enjoyed. Cheryl particularly enjoyed the complete lack of egotistical morons and ‘maniacal minibike parents’.

The race is held on private property near Hattah, about 40 k’s southish of Mildura, at a place called Boonoonara or similar.

The campground is 2WD access and right next to the prologue track, which is directly across from the actual race track. Sweet.

Prologue is held on an 8 km loop of fast sandy tracks, with a bit of hard pack mingled in. Riders were set off one at a time, with transponders attached, at about 15 second intervals. They had a technical problem with a 20 cent electrical part which held us up for a couple of hours, which interfered with my plans to get over to the kids track and dish out some Ride Safe posters and stickers to the kids racing, but unfortunately our prologue time melded into their race time and it wasn’t possible. Bloody electrickery. Other than that, the event went quite smoothly and was well run.

As usual, the fast guys were a blur. Similar to Finke, the fastest were about a minute and a half faster than I was! Warren Smart got a 6.42 or similar, with the rest of the guns hovering around the 7 minute mark. I carded 8.14 in what could probably be described as a poxy effort with nothing even close to a risk being taken. Had I known how the start would be done the next day, I may have tried a little harder!

I was lucky enough to have some support from the guys from Honda, who trucked my bike up for me in the Honda Rider’s Club rig.

Rhys, Graeme and Phil from Honda were racing as well, with Sam and Barry acting as support crew.

Sunday arrived with a light intermittent drizzle which had me fully pumped as I hate dust, but alas not quite enough as it turned out.

The pits was a professional looking affair, with Glenn Hoffmans big red Honda truck dominating proceedings. The track and pit set up was well done. The track ran right through the middle of the pits. If you needed to pit that particular lap, you just cruised into a ‘cruising’ lane next to the track until you reached your pit stop, then it was walking pace after that.

That’s Graeme Baynes, doing double duty as a racer and photographer, with the dirty big lens and the red No Fear gear. He famously (in my mind anyway) shot the photo that was used in the Pirelli Scorpion ADB ad featuring yours truly cracking a piss ant wheelie on a just delivered CRF450X, in the industrial area at the back of Honda in Campbellfield. A bit of photoshopping, by adding a bushfire in the background and they can make anyone look good! The ad is on page 135 of the current (July 2008) issue of ADB. He also took the action shots that appear in this article.

So, you’d just ride on in, cop some fuel and goggles or whatever help you needed, then rejoin the race track immediately on your right. Simple and safe.

The start was interesting to say the least. Riders were lined up in about four big rows, with fastest prologue time starting at the front on the right. A bloke on a four wheeler would ride from the fastest bloke past each rider one at a time. As the quad passed you, away you went and the race was on. Then, the quad would go to the next line and the same thing went on. Unfortunately, I have no photos of the start. All you would have seen were dust clouds anyway.

The dust was horrific initially. I could see jack shit for the first couple of k’s and rode slowly for survival. Plenty of go - hards passed me in the first half lap, but I wasn’t about to push too hard in the dust and throw it all away on lap one, after all it was a four hour race. A better prologue time would have seen me still in the dust, but at least a little further up the pack. There would have been less dust and it would have cleared quicker.

Looking back, I was probably a tad pissweak in my approach on lap one and that probably cost me a chance at a podium spot in my class. Oh well, at least I’m alive.

The track was mind blowing for a bloke from the hills. There were some fast sections, where I had the 450R pinned to the wall. That was with 14/44 gearing! One fast fenceline track was full noise for a couple of K’s, with a couple of little jumps that turned into not - so - little jumps at 150 ish.

Some of the straights were rough - as and it was hard to hang onto the bike sitting down, which was a bummer as standing takes much more energy. I was using my patented (thanks factory Phil) doorstopper pegz to hook my boots onto and they really helped on the straights.

However, and this is the cruncher, most of the track was not full noise. A great deal of it was much slower, including a large amount of second gear stuff in soft deep beach sand, more second gear stuff in rough, rutted sand through the mallee scrub, with trees, stumps and roots to spice up your life.

Chuck in a couple of oversized sand hills, with steep up ramps, perhaps a tight corner on top followed by a steep down ramp, all in golden soft beach sand, just the type that lends itself to helping you over the bars if you make the slightest mistake.

Of course, those types of places were littered with spectators who all seemed to have a camera of some kind trained on you, eagerly waiting for your demise.

On one, there was a nasty tree root sticking out on the down ramp, which I very nearly clipped on one lap. I buggered up the corner, which had repercussions on the style (or complete lack of) I displayed on the immediate entry down the sandy cliff. Doing my best Octopus impersonation, with legs all over the joint and half my life flashing before me as the root and other obstacles loomed, I am still able to vividly recall the ‘Oooohhhh, he’s F^*$@D’ from the crowd. Luckily I was able to wobble out of it and had the poise to give the crowd a wave on the way out. I felt like giving them the bird for their vote of confidence, but am sure I would have been grinning madly along with them as the drama unfolded, with scant regard for the poor sucker on the bike who was making us laugh.

As the race wore on, so did the track. The golden sandy spots developed some significant whoops, which were bloody challenging as I tired. The slower you went, the worse they were. Back off and you’d say hello to the sand with your helmet peak.

I had to completely change my riding style of course. So much for the leaf littered loamy high country track practice of wiping off speed out wide with mostly the front brake, backing it in a little standing up, then smoothly gliding out, perhaps with a little slide, with exquisite throttle control to prevent an over slide, all in as high a gear as possible to prevent wheelspin.

How about don’t use any front brake if possible (I had trouble getting out of that habit), stand through the braking bumps, sit for the corner, on the gas going into it, with the bike fair laid over into the sandy berm, then add plenty more gas until you were out of the corner.

It was impossible to tell how you were going results wise, buried mid pack as I was. I kept an eye out for 700 numbers (the over 40’s were all 700 and something). I don’t remember seeing the winner, 722, at all. He must have prologued better than me and just buggered off and won.

The guy who came second, on 710, passed me on about lap three. I tried to keep with him but fell over in a slow sandy corner and he pissed off too. I was just racing myself most of the time.

I was able to do two laps easily with the Safari 14 litre tank I was running. I probably could have squeezed three, but actually, I was glad for the chance to stop for a rest.

My pit crew, Cheryl, Sam and Bazza did an ace job. Sam and Baz would load the petrol, Cherly would get me fresh goggles if I wanted them and try to jam some orange into my mouth. Great work guys, thanks.

Speaking of goggles, the dust and the drizzle were making vision difficult at times. You weren’t allowed to run tear offs, so I had a new set of Scott roll offs fitted, which worked really well. I noticed plenty of other riders using them, including Ben Grabham and other pros.

About lap four I was busting for a piss. It was starting to affect my concentration, so I decided to make an unscheduled pit stop to relieve myself. It was a smart move and I felt much better after that. Apologies to Honda for pissing on their truck.

About lap six I started to fatigue seriously. I was buggered. My back and shoulders started to whinge and I was unable to hold it wide open on the fast bits. I had three silly ‘lost the front end’ get offs in slow sandy corners, all due to being rooted and suffering from ‘fail to turn throttle enough’. My left wrist that I’d ‘Mulga treed’ at Finke was not happy and I couldn’t push as hard as I wanted too. At one stage on a fast, rough section (120?) a bump caught me not hanging on hard enough and smacked the bars into my bad wrist, forcing me to let go of the bars with my left hand. At 120, that was exciting, especially when another bump tricked my right foot into surrendering contact with the footpeg at the same time.

My mind started to wander and I had to pull myself together and concentrate on the track real hard to ensure I even made it to the finish.

When I thought it was nearly done, a local bloke, number 711, who was good in the sand and was in my class, passed me on the last lap. I wasn’t sure where I was in the scheme of things so had to hunt him down. When he went over the bars in deep sand I thought I had him, but to my horror, he reappeared ten K’s or so later. We full on raced for the next 20 k’s, passing and re passing a few times.

About 2 K’s from the finish I lined him up coming onto one of the last fast sections that was dusty and blasted past. I thought I was home, but the sly dog had a smoother line right next to the fence, re - blasting past and dusting me out. I was spewing, thinking I may have just blown a podium chance.

As it turned out, neither of us were podium chances and I had fully - rooted myself chasing him for the whole last lap for nought! I finished fifth overall in class and 711 finished somewhere behind me, so he must have only been on lap six, not lap seven as I was.

I finished more fatigued than I ever have at any race. Sure, I’d be breathing harder and have more arm pump at some motocross or thumpernats events, but at Hattah, my back, shoulders, legs and arse were all letting me know they thought I was a stupid 41 year old who was confusing his ambitions with his abilities.

I thought Finke was tough, but now consider Hattah to be the most physically demanding thing I’ve ever done on a motorbike. I entered the ironman class and spent four hours or so on the bike, in quite challenging conditions, with hardly a break. Finke was scarier, no doubt, but the trip down only took me 2.5 hours. The extra 1.5 at Hattah was the cruncher. The bumps got bigger as I grew tireder (new word).

Would I do it again? Shit yeah! Awesome event, awesome location, nice people. However, I’d probably opt for the pony express class, where you get to rest every second lap.

The Honda B team all survived. Rhys rode a stock 250X and completed six laps as an ironman, a great effort. Graeme and Phil rode a dead stock 450X, stock gearing and all, in the pony express class, completing five laps. Both had tales of sand crashes, with Phil relating the story of riding off the edge of a hill and becoming bogged in the ‘quicksand’ down the side of some cliff.

With standard gearing, they would have been passed on the fast bits by guys doing perhaps 40 to 50 kmh more than them at times. ‘Shit - f*%k! What was that?’, I can hear them cry.

Local Alpine MCC gun Ben Greenwood shone and trounced the 250 two stroke class. Well done Benny! I saw a few other blokes I knew there, such as Magoo from Alpine, Craig Carrot from Swan Hill and plenty of guys I’d met at Finke. Dunno how they all went, the results on the web only show top five finishers.

The motorhome was a nice change, but in retrospect an expensive option. It would have made far more sense to motel it and drive a real car to the track. It turned out it had a fairly pissy water tank and it ran out of water on race day, so I couldn’t even have a post race shower. That’s the main reason I hired the bloody thing.

Hot tips:

Find time to walk the prologue track, at least some of it.

Go hard in prologue to help your race start the next day.

Set your bike up for full sand - extra race sag on the rear suspension, forks thru the clamps, bars back a bit, steering dampener fitted.

Take roll offs if you’ve got them, or at least spare goggles.

Make sure you take plenty of water so you can wash the sand and dust off yourself at race end. It’s a long drive home feeling like crap.

Thanks to Cheryl and everyone from Honda for the great support.

This weekend, I’m racing in the Hattah Desert Race. Hattah is about 50 kms from Mildura in Victoria. It’s considered one of the ‘big 3′ desert races in Oz, alongside the Finke and the Safari.

I thought I may as well take the opportunity whilst the 450R was set up for sand due to the Finke trip. Hattah is apparently mostly whoopy beach sand, similar in parts to Finke, but not as fast overall and with less rocks. I’m all for both those features.

Like Finke, they have a big la - de - da scrutineering festival in town, where the bikes are on display for a few hours for the public to check out, along with a meet and greet of the riders. That’s all Friday arvo.

Saturday is prologue for the seniors to work out starting order for Sunday’s race. It’s all held on private property so as well as being able to race an unregistered motocrosser, juniors can ride too. Unreal. The kids have their own race on the Saturday.

Quads race too, but luckily they too have their own race after the juniors on Saturday. Looks like I’ll be spared the ‘menace of the swapping quad’ that I endured at Finke.

Cheryl wasn’t keen on me racing Hattah so soon after Finke, so I had to barter with her and let another event I had planned go, plus leave her with accommodation picking duties. I expected some swish motelly type joint would be our abode, but left her with my ‘I’d prefer to camp at the track’ sentiments.

In a bold move, she has outdone herself and booked a fairly large motorhome, so we can ‘camp at the track’.

Even better, the thing has no tow bar, so Honda are transporting my race bike to the track in their big truck. I may well look like ‘the factory rider who never was’, but we’re certainly gonna look silly in comfort!

Entry was a fairly steep $200, however this is far cheaper than Finke which was $440 or so. Transponders are supplied to record lap times and results accurately.

The race is held over eight laps of a 35 km or so long loop, which apparently takes four hours or so. That’s a lot of time on the bike in tough terrain at race pace. I’m in the over 40’s class and the plan is to treat the race as a fast trail ride. I’ve got the 14 litre tank on and will have to stop for fuel every two laps to be sure in the deep sand. Riders with standard tanks will have to stop every lap.

A pony express class is also available where you team with a mate who rides every second lap. This is a popular class, but I’m pig - headedly going for the ironman thing, even with a dicky wrist from Finke (still taped up but getting better) and no off the bike training whatsoever since I went for a short run in the Todd river at Alice Springs with the ‘flying womble’.

Cheryl is my pit crew and will be doing the re - fuelling, possibly with some help from the Honda guys we’re camping with. No quick fills here, plastic jerry cans only.

Tear offs are banned so I’ve got a set of roll offs and a few spare sets of goggles ready.

I’m also taking a 3 litre camelbak and will be using some Endura magnesium rehydration formula instead of water, as it’s such a long and arduos event.

I find it hard to tell if such stuff is actually working, but at my age at such an event I’m banking it can’t hurt.

The only change to the bike was gearing, with the 15/43 making way for 14/48, but I’m taking a 15 front in case.

The club are helping me out and allowing me to run .05 as a race number, whereas at Finke I had to run 705. They’re also putting some of my Ride Safe stickers into the showbag given to every entrant, along with a Stupid Hurts sticker.

I’ll try to get some snaps and will give you a run down on what is looming as an awesome ride. After this I’ll have done most things and could almost retire from racing. Yeah right.

The 2008 Yackandandah Charity Bash is 4 weeks away, to be held on the 2nd of August. It is not far from full, so if you’re keen to ride but haven’t booked, you’d best get on the case asap. Bookings can be made with Don McInnes on 0418966376 or at donm@jimstestandtag.com.au

This year, we’re limiting numbers to 150 riders. We’re giving away a Honda CRF50 to one lucky entrant, however the winner will be drawn after the auction at the Yackandandah Hotel and you have to be there to collect it, or another name will be drawn.

The hotel is looking at putting on a spit roast at reasonable cost for those attending the auction (probably pretty much everyone - it’s a good night). We’ll let you know if the spit is definately a goer and how much asap. We’ll be doing bacon and egg sangas for breakfast Saturday morning before the ride out at the parc ferme (whatever the hell that translates as - but it’s where I’m gonna start riding from).

The DSE (Department of Sustainability and Environment), or whatever you want to call them are coming this year. They have an ongoing statewide trailbike project that is attempting to minimize the problems caused by off road motorcyclists in our forests.

They’re not just wielding a big stick, but have held forums to discuss the issues with stakeholders from all sides of the fence. They’re doing useful things like putting in dedicated loading/unloading areas, complete with toilets. There’s a new one in the Stanley forest at Yackandandah.

A couple of their officers are actually riding at the bash, which can only be a good thing. They will be doing some noise testing early on, not from a ‘noise police’ point of view, but more of an educational lean. It’s great that they are prepared to work with us instead of against us.

Trailrider magazine (Stephen Tuff) is covering the event this year and Tuffy is of course coming for a ride.

2008 is at this stage looking to be bigger and better than last year in many ways. Look forward to seeing you there.

Yack to Eskdale is a personal favourite. It’s in my backyard and the network of top quality tracks have been crafted over several years with countless hours of work exploring new possibilities and plenty of time on the chainsaw with family and friends. We have way more tracks available to us than we have time to ride before it’s dark at Eskdale and we have plenty of flexibility with track choices along the entire route, allowing us to tailor the ride to suit the particular group and their progress.

Our mixed crew comprised a dozen or so blokes from Tongala, where it’s flat as a shit – carter’s hat. A few more came from Melbourne. One drove down solo from Sydney for about his eighth tour in four years. Yet another flew down from Darwin. A dairy farmer from Corryong, three blokes from Beechworth and a couple of stragglers rounded out the mob, who were all blessed with near perfect riding conditions, almost dustless, almost mudless.

We’ve been visiting the Eskdale Hotel for years now and have always enjoyed our stays. We were a little nervous with brand new publicans, Kevin and Denise, taking over the reins of their first pub only weeks before we landed. To their credit, they took to the new job with aplomb and proved to be great hosts who went out of their way to make our visit enjoyable.

Except for some logging done the day before blocking our access to a vital track near the Kiewa valley forcing us to detour the long way, Saturday was near perfect. Hardly an injury, no mechanical issues, lots of wheelies and skids in the loam. The slimy green grass and moss in the pine trees was a highlight. Quarter throttle had the rear wheel spinning madly with your eyes like dinner plates.

We had a mild night at the pub and awoke to find the sun stronger on Sunday. The fog slowly cleared and we attacked new tracks with zeal.

In one area, the blackberries were overgrown.

We had some carnage on a particularly rocky section of track.

The Kokoda trail was again in great nick. For the first time we saw evidence of mountain bikers using our hallowed turf but we welcome their efforts, they should only help to keep it open and navigable.

Cheryl and Rita threw down another two memorable lunches, with an over abundance of quality food available on the banks of the Kiewa river on the green grass.

New guide Wayne took to the role well, replacing the injured Jock. He reckons his name is ‘Wayno’, but for the time being, we’re going for ‘Jockette’. He has big shoes to fill, but has started well and rides like Jock, wheelies, skids and big jumps everywhere.

To our surprise, Jock managed to wobble down to lunch on day two, we reckon just to let Wayne know that he wasn’t letting go of his tour guide role without a fight.

The barter system was alive and well. We use a number of private properties to access the best tracks. We spent some time talking to one owner, who had experienced problems with other bike groups tearing up their land recently. It was worth the effort to spend time calming her nerves about our group. We talked to another at the Eskdale hotel and shared a few beers with him. Rowan and I helped another to herd some cattle he was having trouble with on the way home.

I’m finding more and more that success has a lot to do with being friendly, flexible, open minded and prepared to spend some time developing proper relationships with others. We’ve made a host of great new friends on our adventures and there’ll be more to come. The awesome riding is almost a bonus.

Everyone should head to You tube (if you don’t know how, just google ‘You Tube’ then search for ‘Jason Hill Finke Desert Race’. The video shows Jason Hill, the copper from Darwin who is a long standing leading competitor at Finke hooning off one of the jumps on the race track.

This link might work, if not just do the search thing as described above.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjQGQhvseao

There is a photo of me on the same jump on a recent post, a little sideways and with the crowd watching on. Actually it’s the second action shot showing my bike on post #18. I’d hit it at around 100, maybe a little more and was crapping my dacks.

Jason Hill hit it pinned a whole gear higher than me, at perhaps 160? Check out his jump! The landing is in soft sand. When I was at this jump, there was a kicker on the face. No wonder there was 100 spectators or more watching the action. The top bike riders at Finke must be from the far side of Pluto.

This tyre review is an ongoing process. I have already reported that the Pirelli MX extra rear tyre is a good thing and very suitable for use on our tours.

Peter Galvin was very keen for us to try them at Finke, to see if they could stand up to the toughest race in Oz. My initial enquiries with Finke gurus was that they would struggle, as in their experience, any soft terrain type of tyre shreds knobs on the road section.

You see, the Finke race has this hard road section, about 30 k’s long, where you pretty much just hold it pinned and slow down a little for the corners, which can be taken at 140 - 150 ish. I was getting some wheelspin at 170. The gurus claimed that heat builds up in the tyre on the road section, causing knobs to just ‘pop’ off. Most of the guns used Michelin Desert tyres, designed with a low knob profile and very heavy carcass.

Our tyres looked like they’d have the traction edge on a tyre like the Michelin desert, so we had to find out if they’d fall apart on the road.

So, we rolled up at Alice Springs with a plan. We would thrash the shit out our MX extras and see if they could cut the custard. All three of us had them bolted up to our bikes, which included two CRF450R’s, two CRF450X’s and one KTM450EXC.

I was running the X rear wheel on my R and vice versa. The 18 inch X wheel and tyre has a higher profile and is therefore less likely to get a flat, so I stuck it on the race bike. I ran a 120/100/18, a little wider than the usual 110/100/18, to give me a bigger footprint in the sand.

On the X we ran 120’s as well, so did Whitey. Jock was running the standard wheels on both bikes, being the 18 inch on the X and the 19 on the R. So we had just about all possibilities covered.

In case they failed, we had Pirelli MT18 Ultra Heavy Duty rears tucked away in the truck, which we knew could be used at Finke. You can’t get the MT 18 in a 19 inch, so Jock had a Michelin (sorry Peter!) hidden away as an emergency tyre. The MX extra was a higher performance tyre in terms of grip, so we’d test them out first and only resort to the back ups in case of failure.

We all ran 16 - 18 psi in all bikes at all times, to avoid punctures.

On the front, we all ran Scorpion XC’s.

Together, we did well over 5000 k’s of testing and racing on the Finke track. Between us, we didn’t lose one knob off any tyres. They performed faultlessly, providing great traction and lasting ages. This is a photo of the tyre I actually raced on, including about 200 k’s of pre -running first to ‘run it in’.

The ‘run it in’ process is unique to Finke and perhaps other desert races. If you round the edges of your knobs before the race, the tyres seem to stand up better to punishment and tear knobs less. It must be the reduced leverage and friction on the knobs. Everyone seems to do it, so we did too.

You might notice that the tyre above has some small holes drilled into the centre of each central knob. This was recommended to my by Desert Edge staff as a method of dissipating heat better. I put some tape around the drill bit to act as a depth guage and drilled the holes about 8 mm deep. I only did this on the race tyre I used. I have no idea if it worked, as we had no problems with any of our tyres.

We also tried a new MX extra on the road, without running it in and it also failed to throw knobs.

We did a fair number of long distance (over 200k’s) runs that included the road section, witout issue. We were fairly confident in our tyres by the end of our pre - running.

We did experience some minor problem with the chain hitting the left hand side knobs, damaging a few. Getting the chain tension right on a CRF is vital. If it’s too loose, the chain hits your tyre. Too tight and you will bugger your chain/sprockets and probably countershaft bearing. The rear sprocket I was using was a little oval, not perfectly round, making getting the chain tension right very difficult. I erred on the side of caution and ran the chain a little loose, so my tyre looked like this at race end.

On one pre - run, Ryan Branford, Michael Vroom and Mark Sladek all looked at my rear tyre after the ride to Aputula (Finke). They were all convinced that Pirelli tyres were no good at Finke and that whilst mine had stood up so far, it would be knobless after the road section on the second day. Their reasoning was based on previous experience with older model Pirellis and none had any experience with the new MX extra.

Ryan did however admit that it would probably be a good 250 tyre and in fact called over the father of an Alice Springs local gun and showed him the tyre, suggesting it might be good for them. That kid won the 250 F class, but not on the Pirelli, yet. Things might change when the real story gets about.

Our front tyres performed faultlessly the entire trip on all bikes, finishing intact and in good condition.

I will concede that none of us three ride as fast as the pros and probably don’t give the tyres the same test. However, I know I’m just as fast as them on the road section where all the tyre dramas occur. I can only report on what I find personally through experience and what we found here was that the performance of the Pirelli MX eXTra rear and Scorpion XC front was excellent at Finke in 2008.

We saw a few examples of other brands of tyres that didn’t perform so well and there are a couple of photos in other articles on this blog showing tyres in varying stages of ‘knoblessness’.

I would recommend the Pirelli MX extra as a tyre for anyone considering doing the Finke Desert Race. In fact, it’s the best all round tyre for serious off road use I have ever used. I’ve recommended this tyre to numerous other riders who have all reported very favourably on it’s performance.

The bias factor? I’ve been directly sponsored by Pirelli tyres for years. First via McLeod Accessories. We were using another brand and by chance I tried a Pirelli tyre, which I was rapt in, so I set about hunting a deal with Pirelli. When Galvin Marketing took over the Pirelli distribution a few years back, I undertook to hunt a deal with them. I’d never met the Galvin’s and had no prior association with them, but thought their tyres were the best on the market. I like to only use high quality products.

I don’t like all the tyres Pirelli make and concede that other tyre manufacturers have some excellent products, some of which may be superior to the equivalent Pirelli product. I’ve got limited experience there, but it’s a sure thing. What I do know is that the Pirelli tyres I use for my riding are in my opinion the best available in Australia.

There can be no accustions of bias re this review - I paid retail voluntarily! I can hear the halls echoing now - ‘BULL - SHIT’. It’s true.

I was sick of using alloy sprockets that wore out in no time, taking the chain and front sprocket with it. As a kid, I remember my dad buying me a chain gang rear sprocket for my XR200A. It was heavy, but lasted the life of the bike. So I decided that I would try one of their newer offerings.

I sent them an e - mail and a week or so later it turned up in the mail. It cost me about $140, delivered. Fairly pricey I thought, but in the long run hopefully it would be economical.

I got a red one to match my Honda. 49 teeth, which I reckon is perfect for the riding we do on a CRF450X, with the airbox opened up and a pro circuit pipe.

It seemed well made and they had gone to lengths to keep the weight down. It is round, which surpisingly not all sprockets are, which is bad, as your chain becomes loose then tight depending on the ovality of the sprocket. This makes it hard to set the correct chain tension.

So far, it’s done about 2700 kilometres, with the standard DID chain and standard front sprocket. This included around 1500 k’s of pre - running the Finke race track. During this time, I did not lubricate the chain once. Conditions could be described as tough, with plenty of sand and dust.

So far, I have been extremely happy with it’s performance. I would have completely worn out at least one alloy sprocket by now and on the way down, the wearing sprocket would have damaged the chain. So I reckon this thing is destined to be a winner.

I’ll update you at year’s end on it’s ongoing performance.

These particular goggles are branded ‘desert’ for good reason. They are very good at keeping the dreaded dust out of your eyeballs.

Jock, Whitey and I all used a set at the Finke Desert Race and found their performance to be outstanding. I hate dust more than most people and anything that helps banish your personal demons is a good thing.

They can’t remove the dust for you, but they are very good at stopping the dust getting on the inside of your lens, which is very important. You can wipe the dust and crap from the outside of the lens with your glove whilst riding, even racing, but to remove accumulated dust from the inside of the goggles requires you to stop and take the things off. This is not sensible when racing.

Their secret to success lies in the higher density foam they use in the ventilation areas. It is obviously heavier than that used in other scott goggles and works better at repelling dust.

In the past, Finke racers have resorted to tricks like smearing baby oil or vaseline on the foam on their standard goggles, to keep the dust out. No more now these suckers are on the market.

Desert Edge Motorcycles, gurus of all things Finkey, thought they were so good they ordered 100 pairs a few weeks out from the race.

As an extra bonus, the deserts come with a light sensitive tinted lens, good in the desert. Of course for regular trail use, I still recommend clear lenses, as tinted ones are down right dangerous when the sun goes down, as happened to us when out late one night, fossicking for alcohol at a local station. Like a dickhead, I rode around with the tinted lenses still on, wondering why I couldn’t see for shit.

Truthfully, I was extremely impressed with these units. We did 1800 k’s or so of pre - running and I truly felt more comfortable on the bike wearing these goggles. It’s funny how at a race like the Finke your mindset is so important. Any little problem, like chafing knee braces (mine didn’t), a helmet strap that flaps in the breeze at 170 (mine didn’t) or dust on the inside of your goggles can make your mind wander, have a detrimental affect on your riding and therefore safety.

If you ride in dust, these goggles are a must!

The only slight negative we found was that because they didn’t breathe quite as well whilst keeping the dust out, you tended to sweat a little more than usual. Each time, this was absorbed by the quality triple layer face foam and I did not get any beads of sweat where they shouldn’t have been. So, having said that, I’m now retracting the allegation that it was even a slight negative!

Do I have a connection with Scott and therefore might be biased? Yes and No. Yes, they have sponsored me for eight or so years. No, I refuse to be biased and promise to tell it like it is.

Going to Finke or ride in the desert? Go buy some. You’ll no doubt be as impressed as we were.

Jock is rooted. His pissed foray into the ’slippery’ dunny tweaked his bones in the wrong direction and the gowned gurus spanked him for playing hard without due respect for his condition.

The local doc reckons he’s lucky not to have bones sticking out of his ankle, thru’ the skin.

The prognosis is at least five months of no weight bearing, with at least three months in some sort of plaster stuff.

Maybe 12 months off the bike.

Anyone interested in a near brand new 2008 CRF450R with a horn One Industries sticker kit and perhaps some extra bling please contact rod@yourmatescrashedhisbikeandneedstosellitasap.com.au
Don’t bother trying the above as a link, I haven’t yet registered the domain name.

We all wish Jock a speedy recovery. Prior to the crash, he was a valuable asset and great company. Good luck old trout! (Wise and hard to catch). Dunno about the wise……………..

Our truck used about $2600.00 worth of diesel the entire trip, which was around 6500 k’s. It’s only around 2400 k’s to alice, but the trips into the desert added to the tally.

The truck was fairly thirsty, averaging around 20lts per 100 km, however given it allowed three of us to share the one vehicle and carry an enormous amount of stuff with ease, overall I would describe it’s performance as economical.

In fact the truck performed faultlessly and was a real asset.

Diesel costs were not as bad as we had expected. At Wodonga on the way out we paid $175.9. Right out at Coober Pedy it was not much more at $182.9. Kulgera was the worst at just below two bucks a litre.

On the way back it had gone up a little, with the price at Kulgera over two bucks and Marla $2.12. Back to Renmark in SA though it was back to $176.9. Diesel at Alice averaged around the $1.88 to $1.95 mark. Shopper docket discounts of up to eight cents were available if you shopped at the right supermarket.

We always seemed to shop at the wrong supermarket and our dockets were refused. We were more intent on doing wheelies that saving six dollars.

We took some premium unleaded with us, but when that was gone the bikes dined on the local Opal brew.

We spent a further $800 or so on bike fuel. We did however do around 5000 k’s of off road riding between us.

Food costs are a difficult one to measure. We shopped at safeway and the like a few times and at other times scored take away, but not very often. You’ve got to eat wherever you are, so I didn’t bother recording these costs. In the end, about the same costs as eating at home is the call.

Our accommodation costs were low comparitively. We were lucky to be able to stay with my cousin at Alice, which was ace. Front and rear access, truck parking, a double shed for maintenance, run of the place, which was right in town.

We did our washing at the laundromat in town. Drop it off to wash, go visit the bike shops then return to pick it up within the hour. No theft issues for us.

Out in the sticks we swagged it.

When the girls turned up we booked a flash unit that housed us all. In fact, Cheryl had researched, located and booked it months earlier to beat the rush. The owner took a liking to Cheryl and gave us a great discounted deal.

This joint was a modified house that had three seperate self contained units. Each was flash and very well appointed. It had a pool and spa. It cost us about $1860 all up. This was for 11 people for five nights. This equates to about $34 per person per night, which is in my mind very reasonable.

That’s not much more than a shitty little cabin at a caravan park, but with much better features. Our unit was a palace. The caravan parks at Alice were chockers with riders and support crews and facilities would have been pushed to the max.

One night, I came across this ute parked out the front of our abode. I went into a flat spin after seeing the stickers on the back.

It turned out to be a bloke from Yack who worked a few months of the year in Alice to escape our cold winters. I door knocked the street to find him!

The girls themselves were an asset and we were glad to see them arrive. We owe them plenty for not only allowing us the time and money to chase our dreams but when they got there their practical help and support was immeasurable.

Entry fee for the race was about $440.

Other stuff we purchased included:

Steering dampeners - about $800
UHD tubes (extra) - about $200
Sprockets - about $200

Other spares is up the individual. I’m lucky in that I’ve been riding the same brand of bike for years and had a wealth of spare bars/levers/etc. Honda helped us out by supplying other spares like radiators/cables/chain sliders/chain guides and more on a ‘pay for it only if you use it’ basis.

So far, my input into this trip is working out to be about $3300.00. I’d have easily spent four grand in total once it was all worked out, especially if you included other stuff like take away food, alcohol (!!!!!!), race photos Cheryl bought for me at presentation night etc. Actually, we spent a bit presentation night. Piss was not cheap and we bought a fair amount.

Also note that we were supported well by Castrol and did not have to pay for any bike oils and fluids. We each did around six oil changes for the trip. Pirelli supplied tyres at either no cost or at an extremely good price. That said, we hardly used any tyres and Whitey did all of his pre - riding and the race on the one front (about 2260 k’s on a Pirelli Scorpion XC, which still has the dags on the side knobs and is still in very good shape) and only two rear tyres in the same time, both of which are still serviceable as trail tyres and I would happily use on tour (these were MX eXTras).

So even though we got some help, the costs for an average bloke paying all his own way would not have been much higher.

Jock had a few extra costs associated with the truck, which it may or may not be fair to consider. He had it serviced before time before we left and bought a new air cleaner and fan belts. His new windscreen is now not so new, courtesy of the odd road train. He paid $1200 or so for the flash tarp that graced the cargo section.

So, the way we did it, it cost us four or five grand each for a nearly three week holiday and adventure. You could easily reduce this price by taking a more fuel efficient vehicle and swagging it everywhere. It would be perfectly feasible for blokes to camp at all times and head to a caravan park to bludge a cheap shower at times. The diesel and accommodation costs were the biggest.

A modern turbo diesel will use perhaps only 60% of the fuel our truck did. Shared three ways and with only swag costs, that’s a huge saving.

However, your missus and kids will probably not want to live unshowered in the desert for days and your 4WD won’t carry the amount of stuff our truck did. If I had the choice, I would take the truck every day.

We had:

Two Engel style fridges
Five comfy swags (extra for the support crew at Finke)
Twelve spare tyres
One large esky full of piss
Two big tarps, plus poles and pegs
20 lts Kero
100 lts water
Up to 240 lts of diesel and petrol in jerry cans
Five bikes
Four camp chairs
Three big boxes of spares (suitcase sizedish)
An extra truck spare wheel
Four riding gear bags (I took spare everything)
Clothes bags for each of us (Jen packed Jock’s and it was ginourmous)
Jock’s big arsed double - sized quickshade
A car cube bike/person washing gizmo
First aid kits, camelbaks, cooking gear, bootloads of food, a generator, oils, posters and stickers, a tool box and three bumbags, etc etc etc etc etc.

In all, way more stuff than you could ever hope to fit in your 4WD and trailer. I had considered a chainsaw but it turned out it wasn’t necessary. Firewood was easy to find.

Sensibly prepared and driven, a 2WD could do the trip, including going all the way to Finke on the shitty service road. A van would probably struggle in the deep sand, but a decent 2WD (Hilux or similar) ute with the tyres let down and no trailer would most likely shit it in.

That said, we camped with Andy and his Hiace van at Rodinga, not quite half way down the track. The road deteriorates much past there, but from Rodinga he had access to probably the entire track in either direction, able to fuel at either end assuming he had sufficient fuel range (I could have done this with the 14 litre Safari tank).

Our go was to leave the trailer in Alice whenever possible, as they reduce your vehicle’s off road ability significantly and the shit roads really gave them a pounding.

The trip was a lot of work for first timers. If we wanted to do it again, it would be much cheaper and easier. Was it worth it? Hell yeah! The pre - running camping and riding experiences alone made it all worth while. Competing in and finishing the actual race was really just a bonus.

I’m unsure whether I’ll race again at Finke, but at some stage I’ll surely be back as support crew, hopefully including a couple of weeks of pre running and camping.

We met a few blokes who had crossed the Simpson to get to Finke. Adventures like this is what it’s all about in my mind. It’s no good dying rich.

Note that this issue is a work in progress and many more great photos will be posted when I’m able to, ie after spending some time cleaning up a few weeks worth of dirty clothes, red - ochre coloured riding gear, dirty gear and utensils, bikes in dire need of loving and a wife needing some of the same. Whitey and I drove back in two days without issue and I’ve spent the morning unloading my gear from the truck at home.

In the prologue, I got an ace start and blitzed the holeshot by miles. Then, a couple of K’s in, to my utter horror, I was passed and roosted by another rider, who was most likely on the minute prior to me, but had fallen off. I mistakenly ripped off all the tear offs at once, then the bastard roosted me again and I had to slow to first gear and wipe my goggles with a muddy glove, about four times, just so they could end up looking like this. Next time - five tears offs if it’s wet in prologue.

Whitey had to endure the same gloop. With minimal dust this year on day one. prologue times counted for bugger all. Staying upright was the smart call.

On this jump, I looked fairly pro, but truth was I was fair shitting myself. Only about 30 k’s into the race, I didn’t really want to do the ’swap left, swap right, then flail over the bars’ thing in front of a huge crowd guaranteed to possess many cameras.

The pros were hitting jumps like this at about 150.

Prior to the race, I contacted the local media to get some air time for the Ride Safe message and they were very obliging.

Unfortunately, it seems the local police were too busy to organise any events for me, such as schools visits and the like. So I did what I could and spent a morning with the bike on display at Desert Edge Motorcycles, handing out stickers and posters to kids. Desert Edge were very helpful and it was good to be able to re - pay their efforts, even if only is a small way.

What about old mate below I found jumping around in the dust near Rodinga! Out of the blue, a bloody frog started jumping about near my bike. It hadn’t really rained here for two years. Unbfknlvble.

I immediately took the discovery to be my own and was intent on calling National Geographic with details of my groundbreaking find. Turns out some other bastard had already met my new friend.

He had this cool outer membrance (sort of like a second skin) that helped keep the moisture in and dug himself into the dirt to avoid the sun and dehydration.

Well, Finke is done and dusted. I could cut straight to the chase, but that wouldn’t be right.
To give you an idea of how filthy prologue was, here’s some photos.

Race day came and the rain had stopped. The course around Alice was still wet, but we were receiving mixed messages about whether Aputula had received any. This made a difference to strategy, as if the whole course was wet, I’d wear normal Scott goggles, with a clear lens and stacked with tear offs. If it was dry not far down, then the Scott Desert goggles we had been running would be needed to ward off the dust.

We settled on the standard goggles and went to the riders briefing, which was surprisingly normal. No big fanfare, the usual stuff about motor racing is dangerous and please obey these warning signs. I had expected a bit more pomp and la dee da.

The top 20 got to start two at a time. They had the same lights as prologue for the start and a video to catch you out if you jumped them, which made the start very fair. The rest of the bikes started in heaps of rows of ten bikes, or maybe some bikes and quads. The quads had featured very well up the scale, as the fairly flat and filthy prologue track suited them really well. I had perhaps fifteen of the buggers in front of me, including three on the grid with me and only one other bike, a dirty big husaberg. Not knowing how I’d go against the quads or the Berg on the damp course, I was a little nervous.

I shouldn’t have been. I usually do my MX starts in third, so with Finke gearing, first was about right. I got a blinder and roosted right off into the sunset. By the first corner, only about 60 metres away, I was ten metres or more clear. I was grinning as we had to do some of the filthy prologue track on the way out and I wanted to avoid muddy roost.

The grin lasted about one corner when one of the stinking quads came ‘round me, fully pinned, revelling in the gloop, roosting me in front of the spectators. I have never really liked quads, but have a new found intense dislike for them, which I’ll go into later.

I managed to fend off the rest of the quads and it was only a couple of k’s before I blasted past the offending rooster. The track was horn. The sand had received the right amount of rain and was this ace sandy-loam (mostly sand!) that provided good traction but no dust. I had set off with a plan to ride at about 90% and make it to Finke in at least one piece, but that fairly went out the door with no dust in sight. The next 150 k’s or so were like a whoopy mx track and very enjoyable. I rode fairly conservatively, but around 95% and passed heaps of other bikes and quads.

Every passing manouvre had to be planned well. The passee was liable to swap from one side of the track to the other without warning in any whoops. A quad was likely to take up most of the track, doing at times a similar amount of swapping. Passing a quad required firm resolve and plenty of throttle.

Spectators lined the track and were all clapping and cheering as each rider came past. I felt like a rock star for the first 40 k’s or so. At each big obstacle, like a jump or similar, there was a super abundance of race fans, all waiting to be lucky enough to see something special. I hit the big jump at about perhaps 120, chucking a bloody scary unintentional whip for the crowd. I could hear them screaming with glee, probably unaware that I was fair shitting myself.

I began to pass some casualties. The odd bloke crashed out, the odd bloke with a busted bike. It didn’t take long. I saw old mate fail to take a whooped out sandy corner and spear fair over the bars at about 80 in front of me. I stopped to see if he was okay briefly, which is expected practice. They can refund ‘compassionate time’ if you spend race time helping an injured competitor in need. You must remember their race number, ‘cause the organizers will contact them (if possible) and confirm the deed before refunding your time. A good system that promotes safety, which out here is a must.

I was doing only two fuel stops, as opposed the more common three with ‘club’ fuel, which Whitey was doing. Desert Edge motorcycles were looking after me, along with about fifty - five other riders. At the first stop, at around the 80 k mark, I misread the signs and stopped at someone else’s fuel stop. They looked at my stupid, like ‘who the hell are you?’ ‘Where the hell is the desert edge stop?’ I blurted. I’d pulled in 100 metres too early, hidden ‘round the corner.

The desert edge guys were on the boil. They had a quick – fill for me, which they inverted into my tank and filled it within only ten seconds or so. Trick.

I roosted off and went almost straight onto the road section. I wound it right out to around 170 and held it pinned, backing off only for a couple of corners, where I slowed right down to around 150 and pulled enormous powerslides.

A helicopter followed me for a while along the road and I instinctively took a hand off the bars to give them a wave, at 170. The MSC steering dampener was doing it’s job well. I passed a few bikes on the road section, actually, blew right past a few. The Hondas seem to have the edge here, as I wasted a KTM and Yamaha 450 as if they were in some other class.

All was going well until around the 200 k mark I had a bit of brain fade and was checking out the crazy waving antics of some campers, instead of concentrating on the tightish right hander looming. Shit – fuck was the call as I ran wide and fair cleaned up the medium sized Mulga tree on the side of the track. I hit hard and bashed right thought it head first.

I got up feeling okay and luckily the spectators ran up and helped me up, giving me a bit of hug, wiping my teary eyes, a little pat on the head and a ‘she’ll be right little fella, head on down that way’. My left wrist felt a little off, but I continued at race pace right to Finke.

There, a gazillion aborigines lined the big jump near the finish line. I got a bit scared and only jumped maybe 20 metres, worried about crashing out so close to the ‘finish’. I’d made it!

The camp area was already abuzz with support crews , buggies and bikes. The joint was humming. The Finke camping is almost the highlight of the trip. We had to wait a couple of hours for Keith and Billy to turn up with our truck, as they had a 5.50 hour drive to contend with, compared to my 2 hours 37 minute hoon on the bike. I’d surprised myself and rolled in in 51st outright, 10th in class, having started at number 115.
Whitey had also improved dramatically and had moved from 260 ish to 160 ish. We were both smokin’. Mind you, I was half an hour or so behind the leaders. Freaks of nature.
Our new found mate Matt Temperley, who’d we’d met camping whilst pre – running, had come in at 48th outright.

Mark Sladek had spat a chain and spent fifteen minutes or so enlisting the help of some track side campers to help him re fit a joining link and re – commence his race. Nonetheless he was still up the pointy end.

Factory Phil roosted home in 77th overall. Our indigenous mate Ethan Dagg DNF’d with gearbox issues early on.

Matt Williams, the bloke who rode Jock’s bike back from the accident scene, managed to cruise in at 33rd overall.

I’d seen young Jack, who we’d been camping with, stuck on the side of the track. He later recounted the story. ‘First, fifth went. Then fourth. Then third. I was on the road section, fully pinned in second, then realized that perhaps I should just stop.’

Plugger was down near the back with plenty of others, but importantly with a grin on his face and in one piece, along with Barry French from Honda and Jason Miles from Miles Honda.

The campsite was like a circus. Fireworks rained down all night. Not little pissy one, but kick – arse Moomba like mothers. Keith helped set some off and had a ball. There were kids riding minibikes everywhere and adults riding pit bikes all over the place. Disappointing that there were more un – helmeted riders than helmet heads but everyone seemed to keep the pace right down and I didn’t see any prangs.

They had a big food tent and anyone was welcome to take part in the fine fare at no cost. Thanks to all the volunteers who made this possible. It was a godsend since our truck didn’t arrive until dusk.
We camped next to Mark Sladek again, who had kindly supplied us with beer and assistance until the truck arrived.

The next morning, we were awoken at around 5 a.m by the sound of generators, then not long after by the sound of 500 hp generators, in the form of buggies warming up to destroy what was left of the finke race track. Noisy bastards, but great to listen to as they cruised the camping alleys en route to the start line.

We got up and serviced our bikes, then prepared to race. The lead riders got to start one at a time at Finke, based on the time of arrival. So it was Ben Brahham first, followed 37 seconds later by Ryan Branford, then Caleb Auricht on a stinking orange thing, etc etc. After the first twenty, the mere mortals left in groups of eight, at one minute intervals. All designed to improve safety due to the dust.

I got a great start but found at bump number one that the wrist I had bashed into the Mulga was not quite up to speed and I was unable to hold onto the bike on anything that even resembled a bump. Bummer. I tried to force on and push it but came unstuck trying too hard. My wrist fairly had the shits with the world and wouldn’t allow any speed on bumps.

So, much to my disgust, I was relegated to cruising home at low speed. Whitey, on the other hand, was cruising at a good speed and passed me at about the 170 mark. He managed to finish a creditable 121st overall and 24th in class. 24 out of 160 or so starters in the over 35’s was an awesome result from a bloke who was worried about even finishing after his crash one day one of the pre tour.

I was on survival mode from about the 30 k mark and just wanted it to end. I finished up crawling home in 163rd overall. I was shitty. I am quite competitive and a really bad loser. I had trouble even talking to anyone.

However, later on I calmed down and developed a reasonable perspective. I had finished. There were heaps of riders and drivers who had not only not finished, but had been injured or worse. Heaps had broken down during the race. Heaps, like Jock, hadn’t even made the start. Whitey says he saw a bloke with a broken arm on the 4th corner from the start on day 1. Blokes crashed on the last corner on day 2. One poor bloke died. A bloke we had met with Factory Phil had broken his leg and ridden to Finke on the service road (which is like a race track)to seek help.

I was lucky just to suffer a very minor injury and even luckier to finish my first ever Finke Desert Race. Since the event, I’ve heard so many stories about guys who have entered numerous times and failed. Buggy drivers with 8u entries and 8 dnf’s. Bike riders who have entered numerous times, with their best results being lowly several hundred mark finishes. Yet they all seem to come back, lured by the amazing challenge that is the Finke Desert Race.

Conditions this year were considered good. There was minimal dust, comparitive to other years. Still, there were dozens of serious injuries. Alice hospital was full noise with broken blokes, some with spinal injuries, broken bones, busted heads and the like.

What would it be like in a bad year with heaps of dust? I’m not sure, but I am sure that I would only really enjoy this race if the dust was low. I really enjoyed the pre - running, but that was only six or so of us at most, spaced apart if need by, checking out sections of track at speeds we were happy with.

But when the lights go green on race day, common sense goes out the door for most blokes and therefore safety is compromised. Only 400 or so of 503 bikes finished day one.

Could a trail rider, your average punter, finish this race safely? I think so. With reasonable preparation and an attitude that fostered finishing rather than winning, no worries. I rode, in my mind, at only an average pace on day one and finished 51st overall. Whitey is no A grade motocrosser, but keeping a sensible pace, managed 162 or so on day one. He did the same thing on day two and came home with 121 overall. Big Jason Miles finished without drama. Plugger finished and he is truly just a runabout rider.

However, all things considered, this has been the most extreme event I’ve ever entered, by far. We came across about 15 riders who we camped with an consider to be new found friends. There were another 6 of the group that didn’t start or didn’t finish. That’s about a 30% failure rate. If we had that on a tour it would disastrous and Harro’s ute would be stacked four high.

There was a bloke on a 1150 or 1200 BMW that entered. The poor bugger finished at Finke in 4 hours and ten minutes. After 4 hours, they bar you from starting day 2, in fear you may not make it back to Alice before dark. He lined up and they told him to pull out and ride back up the road.

I have a new found hate for Quads. I never really understood their appeal, but now truly despise them. On the way down, they got in my way and just really endangered my event. One lunatic saw the police stickers and decided to try and race me, endangering us both for several k’s. On the way back, it was probably my fault as I had ride slowly and the quads were able to pass me. However the amount of dust they kicked up was unreal. They were in my mind a serious impediment to safety and should start at some other time to the bikes.

Would I do it again? The pre - running was ace and thoroughly enjoyable. Camping in the desert was unforgettable. I’ve learnt things that I will be able to use in the future to my advantage. Not just bike set up and riding skills, but life skills. Our interactions with the aborigines has been only positive. It has been really an awesome trip. But would I race again? Not sure. I hate dust and this is unfortunately the dust capital of the world. If you want to succeed, then you are obliged to take risks in the dust that surely compromise your safety. If you’re happy to just finish, then it’s possible to do so quite safely. Just don’t expect a top 50 spot at the end of day 2.

I have a heap of great photos to upload, but it’s ten o’clock and we’re buggered. Tomorrow we have to start driving home. When I get home, I’ll bless this space with some great action shots of Whitey and I cutting the desert to pieces.

See you in a few days.

We’ve been very busy the last few days. Last minute bike servicing and preparation, looking after Jock and our families arrived via Tiger airlines.

We’ve made up some imitation ‘Stegz Pegz’, which are a rubbery sort of knob attached to an alloy bracket on each side of the bike, designed to allow you to grip the bike better with your boots.

On advice from factory Phil, we bodged up some door stops from the local hardware joint!

The go is that you can grip the bike much better with your legs, which takes a lot of the strain off your arms, reducing arm pump and fatigue. Our testing has revealed that they are indeed an asset and help a lot.

Just one trip one way to Finke will definately see me pretty well wear both knobs out completely, down to the centre bolt, so I’m surely using them.
We had to make a bracket on one side of the CRF, so that both knobs were in the same position, otherwise they would tend to skew you sideways if one was further forward than the other.

Here is Whitey’s old helmet, showing the damage from the crash in the whoops. Cracked helmet = go buy a new one, it’s done it’s job protecting your head.

The new helmet looks trick. It’s an m2r rev X3, in moto XXX colours.

On Friday morning, we took the girls out to Ormiston Gorge for some touristing. We had plenty of fun. Alice, Tim’s daughter, befriended some mates of the ‘devil wallaby’ I’d snapped a few days earlier.

Scrutineering was Friday night. We arrived half an hour before the posted opening time for bikes and found a line of blokes pushing their bikes around 300 metres long!

First, you had to take your gear to get scrutineered. They looked at helmets, goggles, gloves, nylons, boots and jerseys. Anything dodgy was knocked back, including torn gloves or jerseys.

Our mechanic Keith was left babysitting both mine and Tim’s bikes in line by himself. Hard to move two bikes as once. Out of the blue, Bob from Albury, who is a concretor, turned up and stated asking questions about where the bloke who rode the police bike was. It turned out he was a mate of a mate of mine, Greg from Wodonga and had been keeping an eye out for me. Bob and his wife then graciously offered to help Keith push my bike while I was getting my riding gear checked. Thanks heaps guys.

I’d been speaking to an aboriginal bloke, Ethan Dagg, who came from Ernabella near Ayers rock. He is part of an indigenous race team, which has 18 riders. My plan had been to spend some time camping on the track with them or visiting them at their base, to ride with them and perhaps run a riding school. Unfortunately, their plans changed and we couldn’t catch up.

There were plenty of aboriginals there, so I sidled up to the first one I saw and said,’ g’day mate, you’re not from Ernabella are you?’. Yep. ‘What’s your name?’ ‘Ethan’. Unbelievable the people we’ve just bumped into on this trip, with every one of them really friendly and a pleasure to spend time with.

Jock’s foot was looking putrid.

He’s now going to fly home with the girls on Tuesday and get operated on at Albury. The local Doc has put a flash half cast (no, not a Wybo) on his leg and allowed him to come and stay with us until he leaves. He’s pretty good on the crutches.

Jen has to poke him with a needle every now and again. She’s not trained and we were suprised they let her do it, but after seeing it done it was very simple.

The prologue was today. I woke in the middle of the night to hear the unmistakeable sound of rain. Unbfuknlvable. It’s still raining. The prologue is an 8 km one lap sprint, timed, to determine starting order. Each bike has a attached to the forks by cable ties to ensure accurate timing.
The top 20 got to leave individually a minute apart, then the rest of the field in groups of three, with the quads in pairs.

We did one sighting lap en masse. The track was flat, with maybe 20 corners. Plenty of straights and way fast. It was muddy and very slippery. Plenty of blokes fell off and I passed a few dog paddling their way along the track. I bet they were territorians, unused to mud.

All of a sudden, the southerners were in the hunt. Ultimately though, the dust menace had been vanquished by the rain and prologue time counted for little. Each rider would get to start in wet conditions tomorrow, with the stopwatch on zero, just separated from the other riders by time.

Whitey started his prologue a couple of rows in front of me. They had given each rider a sticker at scrutineering which set their progogue start time. Whitey was 1323, I was 1326. Big J from Miles Honda was 1320. We all managed to stay upright.

The holeshot was important to stay out of the roost. They had lights that were red for 50 seconds or so, then orange, then flashing orange for about five seconds then green and you’re good to go.

Some ruts were developing at the start line, so I lined up far to one side where it was smooth and unmolested by a previous rider making an ugly - to - navigate squirrily rut. I got some good traction and even had to back off for the little power wheelie I had going, but still managed to spank the other two CRF’s I was up against and spear into the lead.

The track was truly abominable and you would probably never ride it by choice, even in Vic. It reminded me of the worst and slipperiest thumpernats track I had ever ridden on. However, I was more at home here than in the whooped sand and managed to stay upright.

Fast blokes are fast blokes however and we were soundly beaten by the guns.

Out of the 500 or so riders, I finished 115th overall and 28th in class. There were about 150 in my class, the 35 - 45’s, including Brad Williscroft and Michael Vroom, previous winners or near winners.

To give some perspective, I an about seven and a half minutes for the prologue. Williscroft ran a 5.57! Shit - F%@!. I reckon his transponder must have been rigged.

Big J Miles finished 254th overall and 78th in class (same as mine).

Whitey managed a creditable 267th overall and 82nd in class.

Plugger Lockett managed 446th overall.

Barry French from Honda, who openly admits he is better at downing tequila slammers than riding a dirt bike, was pipped by Plugger and skulked home after a crash in 449th. Beaming with a smile, he recounted to me how the back wheel had done some sort of advanced pirouetted and passed the front, without his consent.

Russell Diffey, the guy from Henty who’s property we had been training on a couple of times, finished 90 in our class.

Jason Hill, the copper from Darwin, finished on top outright for the day, with most of the usual suspects up near the front, being Grabham, Williscroft, Sladek and Co.

We raced off to the local car wash and prettied the bikes back up, then off home to wash to filthy race clothing.

Whitey and Keith packed the truck in readiness for tomorrows race start and I’ve been belting the keyboard.

The nervousness has dissipated with the dust. I’ve ridden the track enough. We’ve done about 1800 k’s of the thing. I don’t know every corner and certainly not every rock like some locals, but I’ve got a reasonable idea where I can hold it on and the obstacles I need to be careful of.

My plan is to finish in one piece. If I accomplish that, I’ll be happy. If all I can manage on a mud infested sand - less, whoop - less southernish prologue track is 28th in class and 115th outright, then my chances of a pointy end finish are zip. If a bloke is not realistic here, you could easily end up in a bed next to Jock. Just to finish here is a real accomplishment for most riders.

Some are true legends. One dude is 180 kg and is riding of course an XR650. Another bloke is on a BMW GS 1150 or 1200. One young bloke is a paraplegic and is riding with two support crews to help him re - right if he falls.

Everyone I’ve met is way friendly. The Finke Desert Race is so far exceeding all our expectations. It’s the biggest and best off road motorcycle event I’ve ever been to, including being part of the 10,000 plus strong crowds at Barrabool for the Thumpernats, or banging bars with Stephen Gall and Geoff Ballard at the Traralgon Thumpernats.

It’s easy to see why some blokes just keep coming back year after year. This is an intoxicating place.

I’ve got heaps more great photos, but no time. I’m enjoying the blog, but it takes a fair bit of my time up.

Thanks to everyone who has contacted us and wished us well, we’ve been overwhelmed with good luck messages. Thanks to everyone who has been following our story here.

The next entry will be some time after the race. With a bit of luck, we all finish with a smile in one piece.

Ride Safe

Rocket

Jocks leg is rooted. We took him to Alice hospital, where the service was first rate, however they weren’t miracle workers.

We kept our eagle eyes open for an opportunity and when it arose, pounced on the x rays.

The fat bit at the bottom of the fat bone is also busted off. That means his foot is not that well connected to his leg. Like not at all. Apparently the plan is to drug him up, cut his shit apart, then use a drill to stick a tech screw up into the fat bone from the bottom. Then, they plan to cut some more shit on the other side and put a plate in place to bolt together the multiple breaks in the skinny bone. Then, they use some big arsed tech screws to join bone #1 to bone #2.

Prognosis is pain followed by eight weeks of no load bearing on the foot. What is a man to do?

We visited the next day and wheeled the spastic around in his wheel chair, out in the sun for a salad roll. He actually took it very well and had obviously realised he had found his true station in life.

Actually, that was a joke. Jock had really taken it all very well and was a very well behaved patient. He didn’t whinge much. He didn’t even drink the VB we gave him. We are now fairly sure he may be gay. Isn’t it funny how when a bloke is not here to defend himself, his mates really stick the boots in.

We sparkled up his day by delivering the hot off the press July ADB, which featured a story on our ride to Tom Groggin in March. Jock starred in the story, some of which was near to the truth. Quite a well written article actually, however it portrayed Jock as a rock spitting, poor mannered, no etiquette throttle jockey. Quite unfair, as over several years of monitoring his behaviour on tours, I reckon that’s a description that’s way too much in his favour. To watch him swap from side to side on a track, without pausing for a nano - second to even contemplate perhaps backing off is like bieng on a luna park ride.

We left him with hospital food, which he claimed was quite good, then headed off to report he accident to the cops. On the way, in the emergency ward, who should we come across but Chad, the bloke who had only two days prior, towed us out of our sandy grave near Bundooma, when the truck was stuck on the ‘road’. Chad had unfortunately done the ‘Jock’ and used his body for traction, resulting in a busted shoulder (broken clavicle) and modified appearance of the nose.

I promised to give him a free plug, so if you need any harvesting done, dial up O’Connors harvesting. I have no idea where they are, so good luck with that! I think they’re in Sth Australia. Chad tells me he now has a job vacancy for mechanic, 8 weeks work servicing harvesting machinery!

We went to Desert Edge motorcycles for the upteenth time to cancel Jock’s order of some stegz pegz. Whitey took delivery of his new Rev X 3 M2R helmet, to replace the dunger he had smashed when he did the ‘thing with the flip’ in the whoops.

He ordered a moto xxx, which was a horn looking jigger, complete with a skull with evil orange eyes that matched his KTM well. Thanks heaps to Mcleod Accessories for helping us out at short notice. He reported that it’s fit and comfort was ace.

We rolled down to the official official’s joint, being Finke HQ, which is an administrative office a few blocks from Desert Edge. There, we spoke to Kristine and reported that Jock was busted and couldn’t compete. She told us that they would happily refund his money, but they were unable to let another potential competitor in to race as the door had firmly closed.

We spoke to the staff about Jock and proudly showed off the photos of his injury on my camera. Desperate for more, I directed them to this blog, where they were able to see the whole saga unfold.

Amazingly, we then ran into Matt, who we’d been camping with us the week before, who was there to pay for his re - fueling, to be handled by the race organisers.

We found the attitude and service of the administrative staff to be first rate. Thanks guys for making our task much simpler and lots of fun.

We rested Sunday night and picked up our freshly re - welded trailer at a local gas/engineering joint in Alice.

Don’t try and take a low quality trailer anywhere near the dirt roads up this way. They will just fall apart with gay abandon. If you know my enclosed trailer, which has withstood four years of abuse racing and on tours, including a fair bit loaded on fairly rough dirt roads, understand that I would not take it anywhere near this part of the world. They were working on one shitbox trailer at the time that had fallen apart on the bitumen. How they expected to get onto the dirt was beyond us.

We risked the trailer again on the corrugations and it passed with flying colours. At Rodinga, we caught up with factory Phil again, wearing the same duds.

Mark Sladek turned up again, this time sporting some red marks on is face, where he’d tried this huge leap over a nasty rock ledge section at speed, nearly making it but ultimately using his head for traction.

As it turned out, it wasn’t just his helmet that took a flogging from the rocks.

Goes to show you just how stupid you are if you don’t wear goggles. Out here, best to go out dressed like ned kelly if possible!

The young bloke with Mark was on a YZ250F, shod with motoz tractionator tyres. These are more than capable of finishing finke, as Mark has proven in the past. However on it’s first outing, this one fair shit itself, losing heaps of knobs.

We think it must be because he failed to run the tyre in before flogging it mercilessly at high speed on the road section. It seems you should round the edges off a tyre before you use it in the race and it is then far less likely to tear knobs. We’ve not lost a knob yet on our Pirelli mx eXTras, but have a keen eye on them I tell you.

We motored on down towards our new campsite, but hit a sandy patch. We stopped to let the tyres down a little, as we still had 65 psi in them for the highway. To my surprise, out of nowhere, this bloke called Mick rolls up for a chat. When we got going again, with 40 psi, we made it another 100 metres of so before getting stuck big time.

Luckily, Mick and his mate Chad has a new toyota with a winch and were able to pull us out. Thanks again guys, much appreciated.

We made it to our campsite after dark, using the ace little Honda generator to power a light so we could see easily. Then we gathered ’round a great fire, fueled with great timber from the sleepers off the old Ghan railway track, right next door. The race track was twenty feet from our truck.

Jock and I decided to hoon on down to Finke again, to see if we could master those bloody whoops. I felt good on the way down, but the whoops take their toll on your body. Jock had a sub frame bolt come loose, so he had to ride slowly on the road, holding the bolt in with his boot. He motored in a bit late, but okay.

We checked out the footy ground, which was dirt, with the odd small rock. They are going to play an exhibition match for us on race weekend, which should be great as they are very skillful, even with shoes. The curator had specially prepared the ground for the match.

On the way back, Jock took off first. On past trips, he’s got arm pump at the start, then after the first stop he’s recovered well and got much faster. The same thing happened here and off he blasted.

Then tragedy struck. I was blasting through some whoops only ten k’s or so out of Aputula when I found Jock in the middle of the track.

I initially thought he was just winded, which is usual for such a crash, so I gave him a little while to compose himself. I picked his bike up and leant it against a tree then asked him if he could speak yet. He could speak allright, just couldn’t move much. He said later that he thought a bone in his leg was probably poking out through his boot, it hurt that much.

We’d run into a few blokes at Aputula in an F250 ute, who luckily happened past on the adjacent road and stopped to make sure we were okay. As it turned out, Matt was a bloke that factory Phil had told us about, who he thought was very similar to Jock in many ways. Concretors, like a beer, can ride a bike. Matt offered Jock a beer.

Matt offered to ride Jock’s bike back to camp, which was good for all. He wanted to do a bit of pre - riding and we had to move Jock’s bike.

The bloke could ride and took off like a blur. In the fast sections, he just blew me away and later complained that he thought the 450 needed another gear. They do 170! I think he rides a Husaberg 550 or 650 or 1200 or something. My riding had been good that morning, but turned to shit after the crash. This track is very mental and if you’re not on your game mentally, it’s best to back right off. They guys dropped Jock off back at camp, then Whitey and I packed up all the gear to take Jock to hospital.

We drove a few hours back to Alice, arriving after dark. We iced his foot up and had a pillow to rest it on in the truck, but you could tell he was in pain. Concretors usually don’t whinge much unless it’s serious.

The staff at the hospital at Alice did an ace job, but Jock was not thinking about that. He wasn’t too happy to learn he’d broken one bone in his lower leg in two places and the other in one place nearby, meaning his ankle was not really attached to his leg by bone.

He’s in overnight, waiting for the swelling to go down so they can stick some screws and plates into him. They are suggesting eight weeks or so until he can put any weight on it at all.

He was of course most likely quite shitty at not being able to race, but also quite philosophical, stating that he was glad he had came and that he had a great time despite the accident.

The new ADB is out tomorrow at the newsagents and apparently Jock’s head appears in several photos, so we’re hoping to take him in a copy and cheer him up. Then we’ve got some last minute bike servicing to do, truck packing and more to prepare for the race.

Tuffy from Dirt Action/Trailrider rang me today and wants to do a story on our exploits, from a punters/tour operators perspective of doing the Finke. He could just about do the story without talking to me, just by reading these rantings!

Our girls arrive Thursday and we’re looking forward to that. Cheryl has us booked into this ace swisho joint with a pool, only four blocks from our current lodgings. We’ll be able to leave our bikes here to work on in Dale’s garage and walk up the new abode. Cool.

The blog has been down for a few days, due to some problem with some server in Queensland. I thought servers were supposed to do what you bloody well said. Sorry for the lack of updates since mid last week, but it seems to be working well now. It’s now 2 a.m and I’m buggered. Quick shower, four or five hours sleep then I’ve got to drive my cousing Dale to work so we can have their ute for the day.

All freshened up and raring to go again, we decided to skip the second organised pre run, as we expected there’d be a lot of bikes and heaps of dust. It started half way down the track at Bundooma, so we decided to ride the part closest to Alice that we had spent little time on.

We stopped at each obstacle, such as a jump and rode it over and over again, trying to work out just how fast you could go without crashing your brains out.

You had to land with the gas on full noise, or you’d go over the bars in the deep sand on the other side.

We were hitting most going fairly hard in 4th gear. The good riders hit them flat out in fifth. At one particularly big jump, a photographer is positioned on race day and the maddest of them all do heel clickers and other tricks, whilst jumping about fourty metres at something like 120 plus.

At one stage on a fast section, Jock and I were side by side for several k’s, at around 150. It wasn’t extremely rough, but still very sandy and the bikes were tail wagging all over the shop. Now that is a great feeling once you get used to it.

The days ride was very successful. We scouted the track, rode well and had no crashes.

We’ve been out camping in the desert for two days and have plenty to tell you. We bumped into Mark Sladek, who I knew from the Hastings blue light motorcycle club. Mark’s posted a series of great finke results, including a couple of 2nd place overall finishes.

We planned to meet him out past Rodinga and get up close and personal with the track. We stacked all our gear into the truck and hitched the trailer up.
Our first port of call was the local caltex to stock up on the local brew, Opal, which is an anti - sniff fuel that helps to keep the locals safe. We found it’s performance fine and couldn’t tell the difference, so why not use it if it keeps people safe. It’s actually illegal to take anything else into the indigenous areas.

We made it only a few k’s on what the territorians call a road (think bulk bumpy and corrugated)when a spring hanger on Whitey’s trailer came away from the frame, leaving the right hand wheel to just flog about wherever it wanted.

Luckily, Tim picked it up fairly quickly in the mirror and we sprung into action. At first, we used some heavy duty ratchet straps to locate the axle. We decided to unload the bikes so that Jock and I could ride the X’s the 80 k’s or so to Rodinga, whilst Whitey would slowly drag the trailer back to Gaz’s at Alice, then return with just the truck.

Then I had to answer the call of nature and wandered over to the old Ghan line to take a dump. I blundered across a heap of fairly heavy old wire from the old telegraph line that followed the railway. I cut a heap off and Whitey used his expertise as a fencing contractor to twitch the wire into high performance axle braces in no time.

He made it back without issue and Jock raced me down to just past Rodinga, where Mark and a couple of mates of his, Andy and Phil, were camping. On the way we stopped at Deep Well for a look, where to our surprise we found the derelict looking tanks to have heaps of water in them.

There are strict rules about what you can and can’t take into indigenous areas. Booze and pornography can both earn you an expensive blister, so be warned.

He could perhaps cope with the no porn thing, but the no booze? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I say Rodinga, I mean an old disused Ghan railway siding. 0.00001 star.

At Bundooma we found more spares. Talk about your fix - ‘er upper!

The campsite was different from what we’re used to, but still cool. Not a drop of water in sight, we were truly in the desert. Plenty of stuff was dead. No rain for a couple of years will do that.

We met Phil, who is known as ‘factory phil’, as he’s got a fair amount of bling. Nice bloke, but with some issues. For starters, he wore this filthy set of riding gear, day in day out, then slept in it at night. We found out when he went to bed so attacked him, trying to peel back the swag to reveal the sordid truth. We were only partially successful, but you can see the jersey.

This was Phil the next day, he’s forgiven our drunken intrusion into his swag.

We went for a ride and tested out the whoops. Yep, they were big.

I stuffed up all the photos of Whitey, he was jumping up and down and I was cutting his head or arse off each time.

The idea is to hit them fairly hard, in fourth is the accepted gear, with third possible but not recommended as the bike has too much response. You try to pre - load the suspension where possible into an up ramp and use it to jump the next whoop, whilst not skewing sideways into some type of crusty manouvre. If you lay down a crusty, you must land with the gas on hard, or you’ll do an even worse crusty the other way, followed by a quick trip over the handlebars. Truly challenging for all of us, except Mark, who waltzed through them way faster than us.

Phil tagged along but only made it so far. His gearbox began to whine loudly and he stopped to find oil all over the rear of his bike. A quick inspection revealed the issue.

He had 300 mls of two stroke oil in his backpack, meant for some fuel Mark had dumped a bit further down the track. He dumped the oil into his gearbox and rode the bike back to camp without issue.

On return to Alice, he stripped it to find no obvious damage to the gearbox, but replaced the bearings anyway to be sure. Lucky Phil.

We continued on without Phil and sampled the rest of the track again, all the way to Finke. Fast and rough spring to mind, except for another quite short road section, where we managed about 170 with ease. Ever had bulk wheelspin at 170? We all did. No wonder plenty of tyres don’t make the distance in this race. So far, our Pirelli Scorpion MX eXTras are hanging in very well and we are yet to throw a knob. Time will tell. Their grip and durability so far is excellent and plenty of other sceptics are surprised they’ve lasted so well.

We stopped for a photo at the Finke river. Big and wide, with lots of sand.

We rode into the Aboriginal community of Aputula and fueled up with some opal.

We were a long way from Alice! We’d ridden 130 k’s or so from camp, made possible only because we had Safari 14 litre petrol tanks.

Whitey was attraced by one of the local bikes, which was in disrepair but possibly useful as parts to upgrade his KTM

We made it back to camp without issue, but then Jock realised we were out of booze and started to shake all over. Mark suggested we ride another 140 k’s or so or Ooraminna bush camp, where he reckoned the manager, whom he was good mates with, would give us some grog. So off went rode again, only to find the camp vacant.

Luckily, we tripped across five crownies, two bitters lime and lemon and two red bull cans tipped out of an esky onto the garden near the front door and five VB stubbies in a rear fridge. We were saved, but still had to get home and it was getting dark.

We hooled down the road, but the moon was developing more shine than the sun. My flash new tinted goggle lenses were shite. I was having trouble seeing and told Mark I must be getting old, not working out that I had tinted lenses until we got back to camp. Dickhead.

Jock ran out of fuel, as normal, way before us. I found him stopped by the road side, about ten k’s out from camp, doing all he could in the predicament, necking a VB stubbie. I poked shit at him and rode off.

Matt, a fellow camper, saved him by returning in his 4WD with some fuel, allowing Jock to putt home in the dark without a headlight, aided by the lights on the 4WD.

When I got back to Alice, I started my bike and it idled for about a minute before running dry.

We did another full day of bike maintenance and rested up. We were shagged and needed a break from riding.

Today was, excuse the pun, a lay day. (Bullshit, says Jock - I’ll explain why later). We started by cleaning Gaz’s house up a bit in appreciation for his custom. I hope he didn’t have names or any type of relationship with all those daddly longleg spiders, ‘cause I sucked ‘em all up with the vacuum cleaner.

Jock and Whitey went to town. We cleaned windows, vacuumed then mopped. Even gave their en suite a run for it’s money.

Then Whitey went for a walk (in athlete mode) whilst Jock and I went down to see the local constabulary. I’d teed up a bit of media with the local rag, the Centralian Advocate, to promote my Ride Safe campaign (yeah righto, the sponsors don’t mind either) and with the reporter coming around that arvo for a photo, I thought it best to let the local cops know.

We talked at length with Conan, a local traffic Sergeant, who was a real nice down to earth bloke. He told us how at Finke time they have plenty of dramas with people behaving poorly with dirt bikes. Some are unregistered, or unlicenced, or both and will ride not only on the finke track, which is a highway, but also into town. When the blueys go on many just ride off at speed and risk lives.

Others take quads and other unregistered bikes out onto the finke track at race time and allow their kids to hool about with gay abandon, potentially risking the lives of themselves and finke competitors.

Northern Territorians are pretty laid back compared to many of us mexicans, but it does seem they have their fair share of morons trying their best to add to the road toll at finke time.

Another issue is people taking sniffable fuel onto the aboriginal reserves. They obviously have huge petrol sniffing issues up here and a fuel called Opal has been developed that is almost non sniffable. It is illegal to take non - opal fuel into the indigenous zones for good reason. Unfortunately, some people still do and they put some of the aboriginals at risk by doing so. The opal fuel runs fine in the bikes so there really is no excuse. Please do the right thing if you come up here.

I gave Conan some posters and Ride Safe stickers for local kids, then we motored up to the Motor Rego branch, the main depot of which is on the Stuart Highway just on the edge of town, on the Darwin side. We were chasing permits to ride our unregistered CRF450R’s on the finke track for practice.

The Rego mob were good to deal with and quite helpful, however permits are not available willy nilly. There are two organised official pre runs, a fortnight then a week out from the race. They are the only two dates you can get a permit to ride your R. So we signed up for a permit for this Sunday and will be able to legally blast the whoops on our R’s, which I’m looking forward to. The X is a good bike, but with the big tank fitted and carrying a bumbag and packback, it was a bit like riding a block of flats compared to the svelte motocrosser.

Now it was time to service the bikes. The X’s had done 410 k’s in the dust and the air cleaners were putrid. We also changed the oil.

Normally I run the next grade of oil down, their synthetic fortified GPS, which I find to do a great job. However Castrol offered us some of their top shelf stuff so we decided to give it a try. Conditions up here are harsh and the best oil I can get is fine by me, thanks.

We run their gearbox specific MTX oil, since the Honda’s have split cases, with engine oil one side and gearbox the other. That way, you can run trick slippery oil in your engine, without making your clutch slip. You can run trick gearbox and clutch specific oil in your gearbox, with limiting engine protection.

We do the right thing by the environment and collect all our waste oil. Gaz will drop it off at the recycling centre for us, where it will be made into new oil. Never tip your old oil on the ground, the world is a finite resource and too grouse to spoil.

Jock set about putting on a 43 tooth rear sprocket. Note where he puts the axle, easy to reach and out of all the crud on the ground.

We had to change our jetting. Alice is around 800 metres above sea level and the bikes were running rich. Blubbering in the whoops is not the hot ticket. So we removed our tanks to get to the top of the Keihin FCR carb, so we could drop the needle. To lean the bike off, we raised the circlip on the needle one notch, which lowered the needle, leaning the bike off from around half to three quarter throttle.

Whitey’s KTM needed a 170 main jet and a ‘Yamaha’ needle, as recommended by Race Motorcycles. In truth, it’s not a Yamaha needle, but one of the huge series of needles available for the fantastic Keihin FCR carb. Anyway, it was little leaner, both in the clip position (1/2 to 3/4 throttle) and straight section (1/8 to 1/3 ish) throttle.

Whilst there, we discovered by accident that Jock’s filter was putrid. He squealed that ‘it’s clean, I washed it’, but it was fully rooted. Check out the crap on his fingers from one light wipe!

He planned to trust this filter to protect his motor for another couple of hundred k’s of bulldust. It shows how important it is to double check everything, especially when you’re flat out, like we were. Keeping two bikes going properly in extreme conditions is a lot of work.

We’re going camping out on the track tomorrow, so we loaded the bikes into the truck again, along with swags, food, esky and ice (Jock snuck some beer in there under our guard). We’re currently having a few of those beers and plan to ‘carb up’ with some pizza with the lot.

PS: Our muscles are still bloody sore from two days ago!